


Total Drama Quarantine

by CactusPot



Category: Total Drama (Cartoon)
Genre: Canon Continuation, F/M, Noah and Owen are bros bein bros, Screenplay/Script Format, cameos include but are not limited to: DJ Katie Sadie Izzy Dave, i wrote this on a whim while reading another fanfic so we'll see how it develops, trent was supposed to be in here but three sentences after I introduced him i forgot about him, yes this is about coronavirus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-06-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 63,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CactusPot/pseuds/CactusPot
Summary: The new season of Total Drama is interrupted by a globe-wide pandemic. Now, the thirteen contestants must face all-new challenges just to survive on an uninhabited island. New alliances will be forged and old friendships will be tested. Can Zoey stay sane without her best friends there to support her? How will Brick react to advances from an unexpected blonde? And where is Chris? Stay tuned during Total. Drama. Quarantine!
Relationships: Harold McGrady V/Leshawna (Total Drama), Jo/Brick McArthur, Noah & Owen (Total Drama), Rudolph "Lightning" Jackson/Sky (Total Drama), one-sided Amy/Brick McArthur
Comments: 66
Kudos: 71





	1. Episode 1: Cast Aways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cast arrives at the island with no Chris in sight. Where exactly is he?

_Owen stands on the dock, a huge smile plastered on his face. Beside him is Noah, who is leaning onto Owen while he reads on a tablet._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: I brought an e-reader because that’s more compact than a stack of twenty books. Sure, it’s electronic and therefore more vulnerable to destruction, but it’s my sister’s, so I don’t care if it gets broken. [END CONFESSIONAL]

OWEN: Aren’t you excited for this?

NOAH: [dead-pan, doesn’t take his eyes off the book] As excited as I’ll ever be.

[CONFESSIONAL] OWEN: Oh boy, where to begin? The network emailed Noah and me back in November, asking us to come back on for another season of Total Drama. We were finished with the Ridonculous Race, so I begged and begged and begged Noah to come back with me, and now we’re here! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The camera pans out to reveal that Noah and Owen aren’t alone on the dock. Behind them are Harold, Leshawna, and Lindsay, each holding a backpack of personal supplies._

HAROLD: Yo. Long time, no see.

_Owen turns around, causing Noah to fall over. An even bigger smile splits across his face._

OWEN: Wowzers! Harold! it’s been eighty million years!

LINDSAY: Oscar and Nathan! It’s so good to see you guys!

LESHAWNA: [pats Lindsay’s shoulder] Never change, sweetie.

HAROLD: So everyone, who’s excited for Total Drama Spring Break?

JO: [off screen] This is spring break?

_Camera pans to reveal three newcomers, originally hailing from Revenge of the Island: Jo, Zoey, and Brick._

HAROLD: The email mentioned that was the name of the show, I think.

JO: Huh. Too bad Anne Maria isn’t here. This seems like something she’d enjoy.

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: Cam and Mike were done with the cameras, but I came back for Total Drama because I wanted to spend time with Gwen. We became friends after All Stars, but we don’t live near each other so I’ve only seen her, like, twice since then. [chuckles] Total Drama may be ridiculous, but it’s all expenses paid! [END CONFESSIONAL]

BRICK: So will the challenges involve sandy beaches and nonalcoholic drinking games?

LINDSAY: Oh, I am the _best_ at cup pong. I’m going to win this season for sure.

JO: You’re one of those girls that gives us blondes a bad reputation.

LESHAWNA: Don’t be dissin’ my girl Lindsay like that.

_Jo purses her lips and eyes Leshawna. The camera pans: Owen introduces himself to Brick. Noah continues reading. Zoey is clicking through her phone, a worried expression on her face._

ZOEY: Oh no. No no no!

JO: Care to tell us what’s got your ponytails in a twist?

ZOEY: Gwen was supposed to compete this season, but she just pulled out because her grandma got sick.

OWEN: [falls to his knees] Noooooo! Not Gwen!

LESHAWNA: [genuinely upset] That’s harsh.

_A fog horn sounds, and a small yacht pulls up to the dock. The gangplank lowers._

NOAH: Our ride, mademoiselles.

_The nine present contestants board the boat. Zoey is the last to step on. Right before the boat leaves, she turns around._

ZOEY: Look!

SKY: [offscreen] Wait for us!

_Sky is holding Lightning’s hand and dragging him to the doc. Behind them, Sammy, Amy, and Leonard are sprinting to reach the boat._

JO: I don’t believe it…

_The stragglers climb onto the boat. As soon as the boat pulls out of the dock, they collapse into a heap._

LIGHTING: Sha- _booya_!

LESHAWNA: Anyone wanna explain what in the world just happened?

SAMMY: [first to stand up] We were all on the same flight-

AMY: [pushes her aside] -and we got delayed because some moron started coughing on the plane and security had to remove him.

LEONARD: I performed a healing spell over the whole cabin! [waves his hands magically]

OWEN: Hey, I know you. You were on the race with us!

NOAH: [snickers] Yeah, you got eliminated first.

LEONARD: Forsooth! I gave a valiant effort, but I have another chance to redeem myself!

HAROLD: [walks up to Leonard and breathes heavily in his ear] Did you say you do magic?

_Meanwhile, Sky and Lightning help each other to their feet. Jo watches them._

JO: So, Sha-idiot, how does it feel to be back?

LIGHTNING: Invigorating! 

JO: Ah-huh.

SKY: You’re Jo, right? Nice to meet you.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: I want the money. Last time, I didn’t do the best job making friends. That was a mistake. It’s a better strategy to ensure people like you. Coincidentally, I sat next to Lightning on the plane. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: Lightning met Sky on the plane ride to the dock. She’s pretty cool, for a girl. She has the same exercise routine as Lightning. Sha-yeah! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_At the bow of the yacht, Noah, Owen, Leshawna, and Lindsay are hanging out._

LESHAWNA: So, no Chris yet, huh?

NOAH: Not that I’ve seen. I’m sure he’s just on the island, waiting to blow us up.

OWEN: Wouldn’t be Total Drama if Chris didn’t try to kill us.

LESHAWNA: [chuckling] You said it, brother.

_On the starboard side of the boat, Brick is talking to Amy and Sammy._

AMY: _I_ wanted to spend spring break of my senior year with my _friends_ , but Sammy doesn’t have any of those so she auditioned for this show. And then my parents _made_ me go with her to protect her. Ugh.

SAMMY: I thought maybe Shawn and Jasmine would come back, but Shawn’s been in self-imposed quarantine since February.

BRICK: I admire his tenacity. Shawn sounds like he’d be excellent in the military. [salutes]

AMY: Ew. He smells like moldy cheese.

SAMMY: You know if you don’t want to talk to me you can just leave. Go talk to Sky or something.

AMY: Nah, I much prefer tormenting you. [glances at Brick] So, Brick, tell me more about your cadet exploits, hmm?

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: I like men in uniform. What girl doesn’t? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_At the stern, Jo, Lightning, and Sky are doing a jumping jack competition. Zoey stands to the side, leaning against the railing wistfully. Suddenly, Leonard appears right next to her._

LEONARD: A flower for the lady? [hands her a flower]

ZOEY: Thanks…?

_Zoey takes the flower from Leonard._

LEONARD: I conjured that up all by myself.

HAROLD: Actually, I gave it to him. 

[CONFESSIONAL] HAROLD: I brought a bouquet for Leshawna, but she turned out to be allergic, so I gave the flowers to Leonard. [END CONFESSIONAL]

ZOEY: Well, do you guys want to teach me a card trick or something? I’ve got a few hours to kill.

HAROLD: Oh yeah, I will be happy to assist you.

_Flash forward to this season’s setting. Unlike the mountainous Wawanakwa or the robotic Pahkitew, this island is mostly flat with sandy coastlines and palm trees. A deciduous forest sits in the center, split in half by a river that flows out to the ocean on the right side of the island._

LINDSAY: Oh em gee, this place is _so_ pretty!

LESHAWNA: It’s enough to make you forget you’re on a demented reality show.

_The yacht stops at a newly constructed dock. Everyone gets off, and the boat zooms off._

NOAH: Hmm. No explosions?

SKY: No host?

OWEN: No bathrooms?

_The contestants wander around the beaches. Aside from the dock, there are no man-made structures on the island._

BRICK: Well neither Chris nor Chef is here, I will take this opportunity to do a lap around the island.

JO: I’ll race you!

AMY: Ugh, Brick, wait for me! [jogs after them]

_While those three take off, Noah lies down underneath a palm tree._

OWEN: Watcha doin’, little buddy?

NOAH: I’m gonna take a nap. Wake me when something interesting happens.

OWEN: Eye eye, captain!

_Owen sits down next to Noah and immediately begins snoring. Zoey, Leonard, and Harold have reunited with Lindsay and Leshawna. Sammy, Sky, and Lightning gather around them as well._

Leshawna: This is weird, ya’ll.

Zoey: I’m getting spotty service on my cell. 

Leshawna: Did you bring a charger for that thing?

Zoey: No… I assumed Chris would confiscate all electronics as soon as we got to the island.

Leshawna: Did anybody else bring a phone? 

_Sammy, Sky, and Leonard raise their hands._

Harold: Pfft. Newbies. Don’t understand what it means to be a TDI contestant.

Leshawna: Okay, I want you three to shut off your phones to preserve their battery life. Just in case.

Sammy: You don’t think we’re stranded here, do you?

Leshawna: I don’t know what to think. 

[CONFESSIONAL] HAROLD: In retrospect, we should’ve started getting suspicious when we saw the camera crew had been replaced by drones. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Harold throwing rocks at a drone. The drone expertly maneuvers out of danger._

Lightning: So, what now?

Leshawna: Now? Uh… Maybe we should start building shelter.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Am I the leader? I mean, I’m one of the oldest campers here, and I got the most experience... I guess I _am_ the leader! [END CONFESSIONAL] 

_The eight campers begin collecting sticks, fallen palm leaves, and other materials. Sky and Lightning work together, Harold and Leshawna work together, Lindsay and Leonard work together, and Sammy and Zoey work together._

ZOEY: [gathering palm branches] So you were on Pahkitew? I only watched a little bit of that season.

SAMMY: Yep.

ZOEY: Did you make it very far?

SAMMY: Farther than my sister.

ZOEY: Ah. 

_They work in silence. Cut to Brick, Jo, and Amy, who haven’t gotten very far. They are neck and neck, while Amy lags behind._

AMY: Briiiick, wait up!

JO: [visibly annoyed] So you went out and got a girlfriend? Where’d you find her, fashion school?

BRICK: W-what? Jo, you’ve got it all wrong. I only just met Amy today. I barely know her.

JO: [rolls her eyes] Whatever you say. 

BRICK: And besides, she doesn’t have the stamina to keep up with me.

JO: [chuckles] You don’t want to slow down and wait for her? Isn’t ‘no man left behind’ kinda your thing?

BRICK: I think Amy enjoys her alone time.

AMY: Briiiick! Wait for me!

BRICK: Yep. Definitely an introvert.

_Cut to Noah and Owen. Owen is snoring loudly. Noah opens one eye. He watches everyone else build the huts. Noah closes his eye. Cut to Harold and Leshawna, who have constructed a medium-sized hut._

HAROLD: I’m so glad I decided to major in architecture.

[CONFESSIONAL] HAROLD: Well technically I’m triple majoring in architecture, biochemistry, and Japanese history. It’s all very rigorous. [END CONFESSIONAL]

LESHAWNA: Good. This can be the boys’ cabin.

HAROLD: Excellent.

LESHAWNA: Sky, what did y'all make?

 _Sky steps aside to reveal a small hut_.

SKY: This is the confessional.

LESHAWNA: You built an outhouse right next to the sleeping quarters?

SKY: Well-

LIGHTNING: Lightning can move it. Sha-boom! 

_Lightning hoists the entire structure into the air. He runs fifty paces to the left and sets down the confessional again._

LESHAWNA: Well I guess that solves it.

_Pan to Zoey, Leonard, Sammy, and Lindsay, who are building the girls’ cabin. Although it’s larger than the boys’ cabin, it looks shabbier and more unstable._

LEONARD: [tosses a palm tree onto the roof] Huzzah! I shall charm the hut with a good luck spell!

SAMMY: Listen, Leonard, please don’t cast any spells on the hut. It really doesn’t need it.

LEONARD: Are you sure?

ZOEY: Positively.

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: For all of Leonard’s… quirks, at least he’s not a mainstream jock, ya know? [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Leonard is just one of those people who gets sent home first. I hate to be mean like _Amy_ , but am I wrong? [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] Lindsay: Leroy? Oh, he’s a hoot! If Tyler and I ever had a kid, I would _totally_ book Leroy’s clown act for their fifth birthday party. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Owen sits up, yawns, and stretches. Now that the work is done, Noah is also conveniently awake. Owen’s stomach rumbles loudly._

OWEN: Who’s hungry?!

LESHAWNA: Next order of business, we divide up rations!

_Cut to Brick, Jo, and Amy, almost done with their run._

BRICK: I can see something! I think the others set up a camp!

JO: Wow, your eyes are working! It’s a miracle!

_Behind them, Amy collapses in the sand._

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: I’m not weak, okay? I do cheer camp! I’m just not used to 5k runs in sand in _heels_! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut back to the camp, where the present campers empty out their backpacks. The results don’t amount to much: Owen brought five granola bars, Lindsay brought a pack of breath mints, Sky brought two bags of trail mix, and Leonard brought a ring pop._

LESHAWNA: Seriously? A ring pop?

HAROLD: Babe, don’t be mad at him. Ring pops are totally magical.

SAMMY: We all expected to be fed on the island, so…

_Brick and Jo arrive. Amy crawls behind moments later._

BRICK: [salutes] Alright soldiers, what’s on the agenda?

LESHAWNA: [salutes back] We have pretty much no food. Zoey, try to get in contact with the network. Talk to Gwen or anyone else who can help.

ZOEY: On it!

LESHAWNA: We don’t know when, or if ever, Chris is gonna get here. So now’s the time to forage for food!

LINDSAY: Can we get seafood? I’m _so_ in the mood for sushi.

LESHAWNA: Let’s divide and conquer. Hmmm. [surveys the crowd] Lindsay, Jo, Brick, Amy, Noah, Owen. You six try trapping fish or somethin’. Harold, Sky, Lightning, Zoey, Sammy, Leonard. You guys are comin’ with me, and we’re forage for food in the wood.

HAROLD: [bows] Like the great warriors of the past, I will earn my fill with honor and dignity.

AMY: Why isn’t my sister on my team?

LESHAWNA: Does it matter? We’re just tryna survive here!

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: [visibly excited] Eeeeee! No Amy! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the first group walking along the coast. Amy sits on the dock and starts filing her nails. Lindsay splashes around in her boots._

NOAH: Hey buddy, remember when we went fishing in Newfoundland?

OWEN: [giggles] Oh yeah! When we were sailing with Al, Izzy, and Tyler? Good times.

NOAH: And remember when we went bungee jumping in New Zealand and had to catch a boari fish?

OWEN: [wistfully] With Emma and Kitty? That was the best.

NOAH: [with unusual enthusiasm] Oh yeah, and remember when we went fishing in your uncle’s canoe last summer and the whole thing capsized and we had to swim back to shore?

OWEN: Don’t remind me! That was a long swim back to shore.

_The boys chuckle together. Amy, who is within earshot, rolls her eyes._

AMY: Gag me.

_The camera pans to Jo and Brick._

JO: What kinda fish live out here, anyways?

BRICK: Not sure. Here, want a skewer?

_Brick tosses a stick to Jo. She shrugs._

JO: Works for me.

_Cut to the team in the woods. Harold sets up a net trap with rope. Zoey is climbing a tree._

SAMMY: Hey! Need any help?

ZOEY: Sure! Uh, why don’t you come on up!

_Sammy follows Zoey into the treetops._

HAROLD: [rummages through a bush and pulls out a handful of white berries] Look at these delicious berries!

SKY: Harold, don’t eat those!

HAROLD: Why not?

SKY: Those are mayflower berries! Definitely poisonous. 

ZOEY: [offscreen] I found a nest of eggs!

_Pan upward to show Zoey and Sammy ogling the eggs._

SAMMY: Aw, I feel bad taking these eggs.

ZOEY: Well, we need to eat.

SAMMY: Yeah, I guess.  
ZOEY: Yeah.

_Zoey and Sammy sit there in silence for a few moments._

LIGHTNING: [offscreen] Bring back the protein! Bring it back now!

_Sammy and Zoey climb down the tree, the nest balanced on Zoey’s head. Leonard sucks on his ring pop._

HAROLD: May I have a lick, Leonard?

LEONARD: Of course, my fellow magician.

LESHAWNA: Harold, do _not_ lick that!

_The camera returns to the beach. Jo has multiple small fish on her spear, while Brick has none. Noah hands off a large fish to Owen, who licks it._

OWEN: Yup, this one will be delicious if we fry it.

LINDSAY: OMG, look! I caught a fish in my boot!

_Lindsay holds up her boot. Indeed, there is a fish flopping around in it._

BRICK: Excellent work, Miss Lindsay. Why don’t you and Amy go back to camp and start a fire so we can cook these?

LINDSAY: Okie dokie!

AMY: Are you kidding me? Fine, whatever.

_Flash forward several hours. The sun is setting in the distance. The woods group returns with objectively less success than the fishing group. Lightning and Sky are carrying rocks._

JO: Hey Bolt-Dolt, what’s with the rocks? Are you gonna chew them up to get your iron fix?

LIGHTNING: No way! We brought back some rocks so we have places to sit on the beach.

JO: ...Huh. Actually, not a bad idea.

_When the rocks have been placed, everyone sits down around the fire. Everyone is chatting while they wait for the fish to cook. Everyone except Zoey, who is sitting to the side and rubbing her arms. She happens to glance up and gasps._

ZOEY: Look everyone! A helicopter!

_Everyone looks up to the helicopter which is passing overhead._

SAMMY: [pointing] It dropped a crate!

SKY: Hide!

_The teens all huddle together for safety. The crate plummets from the sky and slams into the sand only a few feet away._

BRICK: Crisis… averted?

LESHAWNA: What is in that thing? 

_Leshawna, Brick, and Jo go over to check it out. They open the crate to reveal… a TV!_

LINDSAY: Yay, now we can watch HD TV!

NOAH: [nudges Owen] Three, two, one, _now_.

_The TV switches on. Chris McClean stands in the center of the screen, looking fresh as ever._

CHRIS: [smirking] Miss me?

EVERYONE: Chris!

ZOEY: Where _are_ you? Where are _we_?

CHRIS: _I_ am in my mansion back on the mainland. _You_ are on an uninhabited island just off the coast of Oregon, USA. Things have changed very quickly in the last few days. 

HAROLD: Because of the global spread of the novel virus?

CHRIS: [annoyed] _Yes_. Right before your boat left this morning, the government announced a lockdown on schools, businesses, and activities in order to stop the spread of the pandemic. This meant we _could_ have cancelled Total Drama Spring Break, but I had an ever better idea.

LESHAWNA: Which was-?

CHRIS: I will be hosting remotely, from my very own mansion home! And you thirteen campers will be all on your own, isolated from the rest of the world! 

LESHAWNA: Are you out of your _mind_ , Chris McClean?

CHRIS: [smugly] Nope. It took a little scrambling from the producers today, but we made it work. I dropped off this TV for you, didn’t I? Drones have replaced a human camera crew, and I didn’t even need to be there to make the teams!

LEONARD: What do you mean? 

CHRIS: Until the merge, you will be competing on the teams Leshawna assigned earlier. Lindsay, Jo, Brick, Amy, Noah, Owen, you six will be the Stalwart Shrimp.

LINDSAY: Shriiimp.

CHRIS: Harold, Sky, Lightning, Zoey, Sammy, Leonard, Leshawna. You seven will be the Cantankerous Roosters!

NOAH: Looks like someone got into a thesaurus. 

CHRIS: Shut it.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: [slightly shocked, but recovers] You know, for accidentally picking my own team, I didn’t do half bad. I just would’ve replaced Leonard with Owen. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: Cantankerous Roosters, your foraging skills kinda sucked. Sure, Zoey brought in eggs, but most of the meal tonight was provided by the Stalwart Shrimp. So _you’re_ sending someone packing.

_Noah and Owen high five._

SKY: Hey, no fair! If we had known this was for a challenge, we would’ve tried harder?

CHRIS: You weren’t giving it your all when you were scavenging for survival? [clucks tongue] Shameful. Anyways! Leshawna, be a dear and look in the bottom of the crate.

_Leshawna reaches in and pulls out several walkie-talking-looking devices._

CHRIS: These are your remote voting devices! You may recall them from Total Drama Action. I only sent seven, so be _careful_ , Owen.

OWEN: Heheh, sorry.

CHRIS: Roosters, please take a device and cast your vote. Everyone else, give them some privacy for Pete’s sake!

_The Shrimp back away while the Roosters each pick up a device. Leshawna, Lightning, and Sky glance around as they vote. Sammy and Zoey exchange a glance. Harold picks his nose._

CHRIS: All the votes are in! Sadly, I do not have marshmallows-

OWEN: We haven’t eaten yet! We can give out fish to the safe campers!

CHRIS: That works. Now, let’s see here. [looks at a list off screen] The following people are safe: Leshawna. Zoey. Lightning. Sky.

_As Chris talks, Owen hurls a fish at each person._

CHRIS: Samey.

SAMMY: _Sammy_.

CHRIS: Fine. Whatever. We’re down to the bottom two: Harold and Leonard. Both are obnoxious, loud, and they shared a ring pop.

_Leshawna rolls her eyes._

CHRIS: And the first one to be going home… is…

_Leonard sucks on his ring pop nervously. The camera pans to Harold, who is biting his fingernails._

CHRIS: Leonard!

LEONARD: Aw man. First again. [shoulders slump]

[CONFESSION] SAMMY: I told you so! [END CONFESSION]

JO: Hey McClean, how are you going to get this loser off the island? 

CHRIS: Remember that helicopter from earlier?

_Cut to the night sky. The helicopter flies dangerously low overhead. It’s now clear that Chef is the one piloting it. A rope ladder drops from the side of the helicopter._

CHEF: [screaming angrily] _Get your butt on here_!

LEONARD: Farewell, my friends.

AMY: None of us is your friend.

_Leonard steps onto the rope ladder. Chef lifts the helicopter higher into the air and flies away into the night. Chef’s erratic piloting causes the rope ladder to flail wildly. Leonard’s screams fade into the distance._

BRICK: Wow.

JO: You said it.

CHRIS: I guess you can call it the helicopter of shame. Heheh. 

_Chris’s video message now fills the entire screen_.

CHRIS: How will the Shrimp and Roosters fare without my supervision? What is up with Amy’s weird crush on Brick? And what challenges lie in store next? Tune in next week, and I know you don’t have anything better to do since you can’t leave your house, for Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Harold- Leonard  
> Leshawna- Leonard  
> Zoey- Leonard  
> Lightning- Harold  
> Sky- Leonard  
> Sammy- Leonard  
> Leonard- Harold
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard


	2. Episode 2: It's Starting To Sink In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris' first organized challenge for the campers brings pitfalls for both teams.

CHRIS: [offscreen] Previously, on Total Drama Quarantine!

_Cut to a shot of the contestants stepping out onto the dock._

CHRIS: A global pandemic has left me self-isolating in the security of my _massive_ mansion, while thirteen returning contestants are stuck on an isolated island by themselves! [chuckles] Close enough, right?

_Cut to a shot of Leshawna as she finishes building the boys’ cabin._

CHRIS: Leshawna took charge and led the teens in building shelters for the night. 

_Cut to Brick, Jo, and Amy running along the beach. Amy falls in the sand while Brick and Jo keep running._

CHRIS: Meanwhile, these slackers went on a run along the whole perimeter of the island, which, by the way, remains nameless. 

_Cut to alternating shots of both teams catching fish and foraging in the woods._

CHRIS: Leshawna also unknowingly created this season’s teams, and the teams _unknowingly_ participated in their first challenge: catching dinner.

_Cut to last night’s bonfire. Owen gives a fish to Harold while Leonard slumps._

CHRIS: Ultimately the Cantankerous Roosters sent Leonard home. I can’t say anyone’ll miss him terribly.

_Cut to a live shot of Chris, sitting on a pristine white couch while sipping coffee._

CHRIS: My job has never been so easy. Twelve more contestants. One million dollars! Who will come out on top? Find out on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_“I Wanna Be Famous” plays_

Camera drones fly through the air. One gets hit and crashes onto the sand. Another is attacked by a seagull.

_Dear Mom and Dad, I’m doing fine._

The shot zooms through the inner forest and out onto the beach.

_You guys are on my mind._

The shot passes Chris’s portable TV and dives into the ocean.

_You asked me what I wanted to be_

Obligatory Owen shot in the water.

_And now I think the answer is plain to see,_

Owen swims upward and breaks the surface of the water. He high fives Noah, who is sitting on the dock.

_I wanna be famous!_

Noah points to the right and laughs. Pan to Harold, who is performing jiu jitsu on the beach. He kicks over the confessional, revealing Lindsay (fully clothed) inside. She screams.

_I wanna live close to the sun,_

The shot pans right as Jo and Brick run past Lindsay, glaring at each other. Amy follows behind.

_So pack your bags, ‘cause I’ve already won._

They run past Sammy, who trips Amy. The latter falls face first in the sand. Amy growls and jumps on her.

_Everything to prove nothing in my way,_

Pan up to Zoey, who is sitting in a tree and trying to get cell service for her phone.

_I’ll get there one day._

Zoey drops her phone. It lands on Leonard’s head, causing him to drop a bag of glitter on the ground. It explodes in his face.

_‘Cause I wanna be famous._

Pan to Lightning, who is flexing his muscles in front of Sky. She giggles, clearly amused.

_Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na_

Jo and Brick finish their race. Leshawna high fives both of them, then hands them a stack of clean laundry.

_I wanna be!_

Zoey slides down her tree and runs toward the beach. 

_I wanna be!_

Sammy tries to sit on a log, but Amy pulls it out from under her.

_I wanna be famous!_

Chef flies by in his helicopter, transitioning the frame from day to night.

_I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!_

All the contestants gather around the bonfire. 

_*Whistling*_

Sky and Lightning lean in to kiss, but a crate with Chris’ face on it drops in between them, startling both.

_The scene opens at dawn. Leshawna is up early. She has constructed a clothesline that spans between two palm trees, and she’s hanging up clothes to dry._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I woke up early this morning, probably because I was sleepin’ on _sand_ instead of an actual _mattress_. So I gathered up some clothes and made myself useful. And hey, if washing up dirty clothes earns me brownie points with everyone else, I ain’t complaining. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Brick, wearing a white tank top and swim trunks, exits the mens’ hut and ambles over to Leshawna._

BRICK: [salutes] Good morning, soldier! Nice to see someone else out so bright and early. Washing out clothes, I see?

LESHAWNA: Yessir. Are you goin’ out on a mornin’ run?

BRICK: Affirmative! Have you seen Jo, by the way?

LESHAWNA: Nah. She might be sleepin’. [under her breath] I wish I was.

_Brick is about to leave when Amy and Sammy leave the hut. Amy’s pajamas are color coordinated, pink and white. They’re obviously nicer than Sammy’s, which look like ratty hand-me-downs._

AMY: Hey, Brick! Uh, hey, Lefonda or whatever your name is.

_Leshawna raises an eyebrow, unamused._

AMY: Can you believe my stupid little sister is following me around again? [rolls eyes] Ugh, just leave me alone already!

SAMMY: Just because we happened to wake up at the same time doesn’t mean I’m _following_ you.

AMY: [notices clothesline] Ew, are you _handwashing_ my skirt? That can only be dry-cleaned and ironed! Show some class!

 _Leshawna, Sammy, and Brick all roll their eyes_.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: [wringing Amy’s skirt in her hands] Why would you wear a dry-clean only skirt _on the dang reality show_?! [END CONFESSIONAL]

AMY: Brick, can you show me some of the workout routines you learned in basic training?

BRICK: [visibly uncomfortable] Yeah, sure, I suppose.

SAMMY: I’m going to forage for some breakfast berries.

_Flash forward a few hours. The sun is up now. All the campers are awake and wearing their usual outfits. Noah and Owen are eating leftover fish together. Zoey is sitting by herself, texting with one hand and eating berries with the other._

HAROLD: Zoey, do you have any games on your phone?

ZOEY: … Sorry, huh?

HAROLD: On your phone? I’d like to improve my hand eye coordination by playing video games.

ZOEY: No, sorry, I was just texting some friends.

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: I’m not turning into one of those phone-obsessed preppie girls, right? Chris never said no phones, and, well, I may as well use it while I can. [phone buzzes, she looks down at it] Oh! Mike, Cam, and Gwen say hello, by the way. [END CONFESSIONAL]

LESHAWNA: [off-screen] Harold, baby, stop harassing that poor girl and help me make a smoothie!

_The camera follows Harold as he walks past Sky and Lightning, who are engrossed in conversation._

SKY: So in all your years of sports, you’ve never tried gymnastics before?

LIGHTNING: Nah! Lightning prefers more _physical_ stuff like football or rugby, or, uh, football.

SKY: [frowns] Are you saying gymnastics isn’t a physical sport?

LIGHTNING: [blinks twice, realizing his mistake] Nah! Gymnastics is physical, it’s just a different skillset. Lightning likes running over the competition with his rock hard body. Sha-bam!

SKY: [chuckles lightly] To each their own.

_Jo sits down beside them._

JO: Good morning, opponents. Ready to get the beat down of a lifetime?

SKY: Good luck, Jo, whatever the challenge may be.

LIGHTNING: Jo, your team is good as gone! [points obnoxiously at Jo] In your sha- _face_!

_Cut to the TV. Static roars across the screen. The campers gather around as Chris and Chef appear on it._

CHRIS: Welcome, campers, to day two of Total! Drama! Quarantine!

CHEF: [blows a party horn]

CHRIS: As you can see, Chef and I are practicing _social distancing._ Six feet apart at all times, so he doesn’t kill me. 

CHEF: [deadpan] No concern for my safety whatsoever.

CHRIS: [cheerfully] Nope!

NOAH: So what’s your evil plan for today? Gonna airlift us any supplies, Harry Truman?

CHRIS: Sadly I won’t have as much leeway to torture you, considering I’m stuck inside my personal mansion.

ZOEY: [whispering to Sammy] Take a shot of water every time Chris mentions his mansion.

SAMMY: [nervously] Heheh.

CHRIS: But hey, I’m a nice guy! This season, each challenge will have a special reward for the winning team. 

CHEF: We’ll send you some nice homemade cooking from me. Heheh.

_All the kids glare and make retching sounds, except for the Pahkitew kids who were never exposed to Chef’s cooking._

CHRIS: Anyways, today’s challenge starts simple. Each team, I need you to volunteer a player.

BRICK: For what purpose, sir?

CHRIS: [annoyed] I’m not gonna _tell_ you until you pick a volunteer! But it _is_ for a physical challenge.

_The teams divide and chat amongst themselves._

LINDSAY: Can I do it? Pretty please?

NOAH: No objections here.

JO: Chris said it was for a physical challenge, Bandana Brain. I think it should be me.

BRICK: Or me!

JO: [smirking] Wanna arm wrestle for that?

_They begin to arm wrestle. Meanwhile, the Cantankerous Roosters are having no problems._

SKY: I’m a good athlete, but I think Lightning should probably be our volunteer.

LIGHTNING: Sha-boom! You sure, Sky?

SKY: Yeah. 

LESHAWNA: Sounds like a plan, then.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: If we lose this challenge, I have full deniability. We’d probably just vote off Lightning instead. [sighs] That would suck, though. Lightning is pretty fun to talk to. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut back to Chris, who is reading a magazine on his couch. He glances up._

CHRIS: Do we have our final decisions?

HAROLD: We have selected Lightning for the Roosters.

CHRIS: And for the Stalwart Shrimp?

BRICK: [wincing, rubbing his right arm in pain] Jo.

JO: [amiably punches Brick’s left arm] Excellent choice, Private Pansy.

CHRIS: Excellent! For the first challenge, your team will have to carry your volunteer to the center of the island.

_The screen displays a map of the island with a giant red X in the center._

CHRIS: Yes, the island looks kinda barren because the epidemic halted air travel and outsourcing the labor became _pretty_ expensive. However, before that happened, we did complete a mess hall. 

OWEN: Mess hall? You mean there’s _food_?

CHRIS: The mess hall, sadly, is not stocked. 

_Owen deflates. Noah puts a comforting hand on his arm. Amy and Jo roll their eyes._

SKY: So you want us to carry Lightning and Jo to the mess hall?

CHRIS: Pretty much. How you distribute the weight is up to you, but they aren’t allowed to walk, run, cartwheel, or anything else self-automating.

JO: Sounds good.

CHRIS: Before I send you on your merry way, I need one more volunteer from either team.

BRICK: [salutes] Sir, yes sir!

CHRIS: Ah, Brick! You will be in charge of wheeling this portable TV to the mess hall!

_The Stalwart Shrimp grumble at the extra challenge. Brick bites his lip nervously._

CHRIS: Ready? Three, two, one, _go_!

_Chef blows an air horn and the TV switches off. Leshawna and Sammy immediately grab Lightning’s legs; Sky and Zoey support his shoulders._

ZOEY: Harold, you should navigate.

HAROLD: Which way do we go? I don’t have a map.

ZOEY: Chris said center, right? So let’s just go straight.

_The Cantankerous Roosters head off into the woods. Meanwhile, the Stalwart Shrimp are slower to get started. Brick is nervously standing near the TV while Lindsay and Amy try to pick up Jo._

JO: Hurry up, weaklings. We have a challenge to win!

AMY: [huffing and puffing] Well usually I’m at the _top_ of the cheer pyramid, not the bottom. 

LINDSAY: [drops Jo’s legs in the sand] Uh, Noah? Can’t you help?

NOAH: I can bench press five pounds.

AMY: Switch with Brick, then!

BRICK: What if Chris disqualifies me for not being the TV roller?

OWEN: Chris _would_ do a sneaky thing like that.

JO: Ugh! Just toss me over Owen’s shoulder!

_Owen scoops her up and slings her over his shoulder, as requested._

NOAH: Perfect. Now, let’s pick up the pace before they leave us behind.

_The Shrimp run into the woods. Owen and Jo lead the pack, while Brick trails behind with the TV._

_Cut to the Roosters, who have slowed down. Lightning’s arms drag on the ground as Zoey and Sky lose their momentum._

LIGHTNING: Say, if Lightning holds his breath, do you think he’d be easier to carry?

SKY: [chuckles] Doubt it.

HAROLD: So far, I do not see any problems. Proceed as normal.

LESHAWNA: Thank you, sugar.

_Leshawna turns to Sammy, who hasn’t broken a sweat yet._

LESHAWNA: Dang, girl, you got some upper body strength!

SAMMY: [smiles] Thanks!

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: [flexes biceps] It’s from carrying around _Amy_ all these years. Oh, and cheer camp. I’m always at the bottom of the cheer pyramid. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Harold takes off his glasses to clean them. Immediately, he runs straight into a beehive._

HAROLD: _Bees!_

LIGHTNING: Sha-nope!

_The bees swarm the Roosters. Leshawna and Sammy drop Lightning’s legs and swat away the bees._

ZOEY: _Run for shelter!_

_The Shrimp scatter, all except Sky. She drops to the ground next to Lightning._

LIGHTNING: Sha-what are you doing, Sky?

SKY: If you get up, we’ll lose the challenge! Stay low and cover your face!

_Sky cups her hands across her face to avoid being stung. Lightning, always dramatic, rips off his shirt and pulls it over his head. The bees swarm around them, but luckily none of them comes close to Sky’s or Lightning’s faces._

_Cut to the Shrimp, who are still running. Owen whistles as he jogs. Brick still lags behind. Amy, Lindsay, and Noah make up the center of the group._

LINDSAY: So, Amanda, what kind of lip gloss are you wearing?

AMY: Um, it’s _Amy_ , and none of your business.

LINDSAY: My bad. [giggles] I’m kinda the worst at names. 

AMY: Whatever.

[CONFESSIONAL] LINDSAY: So we were running, and I got some bad vibes from Amy. Like, what girl doesn’t tell another girl about her lip gloss? It’s girl code rule number three: _always_ tell other girls where you got your lip gloss! [END CONFESSIONAL]

LINDSAY: Um, I’m gonna jog ahead and scout out the path.

JO: Way to make yourself useful, _Linda_.

OWEN: Hey, don’t be mean to Lindsay!

LINDSAY: [oblivious to this] I’ll be right back! 

_Lindsay jogs out of sight._

_Cut to Sky and Lightning. The bees have dissipated, and now they’re all alone in the woods._

LIGHTNING: [muffled through shirt] Are they gone?

SKY: [lifts one hand off her face to look around] Yeah, we’re good. 

_Lightning puts his shirt back on, and Sky relaxes._

SKY: Okay, now what? There’s no telling where Leshawna and Harold and the rest have ended up.

LIGHTNING: Maybe we should just get up and keep walking in the same direction.

SKY: I dunno, how am I gonna carry you?

LIGHTNING: Piggy back ride?

SKY: [perks up] Yeah! That might work!

_Sky helps Lightning to his feet. She crouches over as he hops on her back._

LIGHTNING: You sure you can handle the Lightning? [flexes biceps]

SKY: Heh, yeah. Just make sure you hold on, okay?

LIGHTNING: Sha-definitely!

_Lightning wraps his arms around Sky’s neck, and they hurry off in the same direction as before._

_Cut back to the Roosters. Jo’s eyes are closed and she’s attempting to take a nap as Owen runs._

LINDSAY: [offscreen] Guuuuys!

_Lindsay hurries back on screen. Everyone stops and looks at her._

BRICK: What did you find, soldier?

LINDSAY: So on the left, there’s a bunch of trees and rocks and stuff. But on the right, there’s a clearing. So it would probably be easier for Brick if we went right

NOAH: I don’t have a problem with that.

AMY: I guess that makes sense.

OWEN: Right we go! 

_The Shrimp resume their run. They enter Lindsay’s clearing. As they run, they slow down. Cut to a zoom up on Noah’s face._

NOAH: Why… is it… harder… than usual… to run? 

_Noah glances down._

NOAH: [panicked] Uh, guys?

_Zoom out to reveal the entirety of the Stalwart Shrimps, who are now knee-deep in—_

LINDSAY: _Quick sand!_

OWEN: Sweet mother of Jane Austen! 

_Owen tries to take a step, but he only sinks faster. Brick, Lindsay, Amy, and Noah are now thigh deep._

BRICK: Owen, toss Jo to the side!

JO: Are you _insane_?

AMY: No, he’s right! If Jo tries to swim out of the quicksand, we’ll be disqualified!

BRICK: Just throw her to the edge of the clearing! Jo, sit and wait for us!

JO: I don’t want to watch you _die!_

OWEN: Sorry, Jo. Here goes nothing!

_Owen hoists Jo above his head and throws her forward. She screams right before she slams into a tree. Jo sinks down. Her face is red from the impact, but otherwise she’s physically unharmed. Emotionally? Jo’s brows are furrowed as she watches her team sink._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Brick and I have always been intense rivals. But did I want him to sink into a bottomless pit of quicksand? _No!_ [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Leshawna and Harold, who are in the woods together._

LESHAWNA: D’you think those bees are gone?

HAROLD: I don’t hear any buzzing.

LESHAWNA: Okay. We need to get back and find the others, then. 

HAROLD: Roger that, m’lady.

 _They start walking back the way they came_.

_Cut to the Shrimp, who are still stuck in the quicksand._

BRICK: Listen up, soldiers! Keep your arms above the quicksand and do _not_ , I repeat, do _not_ make any sudden movements!

AMY: [whimpering] I’m gonna die here! 

BRICK: Lean back and distribute your weight evenly!

LINDSAY: [panicking] How do I do that? 

NOAH: Pretend you’re in the pool and you’re lying on a floaty raft!

_Brick, Lindsay, Amy, Noah, and Owen lean back and float in the quicksand. Brick looks determined, while the other four are varying degrees of freaked out._

LINDSAY: There’s sand all over my hair!

BRICK: Everyone inch backwards until you’re on solid ground again!

_Everyone listens to his advice. Brick, being the last in the group, is the first to be back on solid land. Noah is the second to finish; he grabs a long fallen tree branch and extends it to Owen in order to help him. Lindsay bites her lip._

LINDSAY: Am I almost there?

BRICK: Keep going, Miss Lindsay!

AMY: [obnoxiously loud] Somebody _help me!_

_Cut to Sammy, alone in the woods._

SAMMY: Was that Amy? Is she okay?

_Cut to Sky and Lightning. Sky has switched from running to walking, and she and Lightning are talking again._

SKY: Protein _is_ an important part of a balanced diet.

LIGHTNING: See?! You get it. Not everyone does. That’s why Lightning easily takes those wimps down.

SKY: Competitive, I see.

LIGHTNING: Protein powder doubles as my confidence powder!

SKY: So, how confident are you that we’ll win this challenge?

LIGHTNING: Twenty percent.

SKY: Only twenty?!

LIGHTNING: Ten percent for each teammate we got right now.

SKY: So the maximum confidence would be sixty percent?

LIGHTNING: [delighted] You get it!

_Cut to the quicksand. Lindsay and Amy are still struggling to get out._

OWEN: Lindsay, grab hold of this stick!

LINDSAY: O-okay!

_Lindsay grabs the stick, and Owen pulls her to safety. Suddenly, Sammy bursts into the clearing._

SAMMY: What’s going on? Amy?

AMY: [slowly paddling to shore] Go _away_! 

JO: [annoyed, legs crosses] Bombshell Blonde led us straight into quicksand.

SAMMY: Who, Amy?

JO: No, Lindsay.

SAMMY: Oh. Uh, do you need any help?

JO: Go bother your _own_ team.

SAMMY: Right. Sorry.

_Sammy stays quiet as Brick pulls Amy to safety._

AMY: OMG, you saved me!

_Amy hugs Brick, who looks mildly uncomfortable. Jo glares at them from underneath her tree._

NOAH: So should we even try finishing the challenge at this point?

JO: Is that even a question, No-astuteness?

NOAH: [deadpan] Nice one.

BRICK: Just walk along the perimeter of the clearing, and we should be free of quicksand from now on.

JO: Come on, Owen. Pick me up and let’s go, go, go! 

_Cut to the mess hall, which is in pristine condition. Sky stumbles out of the woods and unloads Lightning on the front steps._

SKY: Did we do it? Did we win?

LIGHTNING: I dunno. We’re certainly the first here, but where’s the rest of our team?

_Zoey suddenly jumps out from the trees. She does a backflip before landing in front of them._

ZOEY: Hey guys.

SKY: Zoey! Nice moves.

LIGHTNING: Where’d you come from, Flower Girl?

ZOEY: Oh, I ended up in the trees and I started following you guys from above.

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: That _sounds_ creepy, but when I found Sky and Lightning again, I didn’t really wanna come down and join them. I don’t have much in common with jocks like them. _And_ it looked like they were having fun with each other. I wasn’t gonna ruin that. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Harold and Leshawna arrive, both looking confused._

HAROLD: I could have sworn we were heading back to the beach.

LESHAWNA: Hey! You guys made it! Go team!

_Leshawna runs over and high fives everyone. A few moments later, Sammy bursts into the clearing, followed by the Stalwart Shrimp._

JO: No! They beat us!

AMY: Ugh! You suck, Sammy! You did this!

_Lindsay’s eyeliner is smeared and her mouth is wobbly. She’s clearly upset._

LESHAWNA: Ah, honey! What happened to you?

LINDSAY: [wailing] We fell into quicksand and now my boots are _ruined_!

_As Leshawna comforts Lindsay, the shot refocuses on the observing Jo, who is now standing on her own instead of lying on Owen’s shoulder. Jo leans over to Brick._

JO: [whispering] We just lost a challenge and she’s worried about her _boots_?

BRICK: Maybe it’s a coping mechanism?

_Zoey’s phone starts ringing. She picks it up and gasps a few moments later._

ZOEY: Chris just called me!

HAROLD: Put it on speaker!

_Zoey does so. Everyone gathers around as Chris speaks._

CHRIS: Well, that was certainly an interesting challenge. Brick, I wish you could see how disappointed I am in you right now.

BRICK: We were in quicksand! There was no way I could’ve saved the TV!

CHRIS: I’ll send another TV in the evening. Right now, we have things to discuss. The Cantankerous Roosters win their first challenge of the season!

LESHAWNA: Woo hoo! [high fives Harold]

CHRIS: As your reward, you will each get to pick _one_ food that we will stock in the mess hall this evening. I’d suggest picking a nonperishable that will last longer. Or you could just order five tubs of ice cream. I need to know now, though. Clock is ticking.

HAROLD: I’d like sushi.

LIGHTNING: Protein powder! _Please_ bring protein powder!

ZOEY: Chips and dip, please.

SAMMY: A liter of cranberry juice?

LESHAWNA: I just want donuts. A lil’ sugar never hurt anybody.

SKY: And I’ll request lasagna. With extra cheese.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: It’s called carb-loading. Serious athletes do it all the time. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: Your requests will be taken into account and sent as soon as possibly. Or not. [chuckles] Stalwart Shrimp, your elimination ceremony will occur as soon as I send that replacement TV. Thanks again, Brick.

BRICK: I said I was sorry!

CHRIS: Chris, out!

_Chris hangs up and Zoey immediately begins texting her friends again._

LESHAWNA: Well there’s no point in waiting around here. Let’s head back to camp. Place markers on the trees so we can mark out a path back to the mess hall!

_Cut to Owen ripping off one of his shirt sleeves and wrapping it around the trunk of a tree._

NOAH: Nice one, dude.

OWEN: Thank you _monsieur._ Hey, who are you gonna vote for?

NOAH: No idea. Maybe you.

OWEN: Heheh, good one, buddy! [pauses] You’re joking, right?

NOAH: Yeah. I’ve actually been thinking about Brick or Amy...

_Brick and Jo are walking ahead of them. For once, Amy isn’t tagging along with Brick._

JO: If you vote yourself out for some ‘honor code’ thing, I swear I will kill you.

BRICK: I wasn’t planning on it.

JO: Good. We’re the Shrimp’s best players. I might vote out Bombshell Blonde tonight. She’s been utterly annoying since the start, and kinda sucked at getting out of quicksand.

BRICK: But Amy’s also more athletic than Noah or Owen or Lindsay.

JO: You just want to keep her around ‘cause she’s been giving you attention. 

BRICK: Negative!

JO: [ignores his response] Besides, it _was_ Lindsay’s fault we got into that mess in the first place.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: It’s like picking between dumb and dumber, except it’s blonde and blonder. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the bonfire. The Cantankerous Roosters are in their swimsuits and hanging out on the dock, out of earshot from the elimination ceremony. Chef’s helicopter swoops in overhead and drops off a box. Like last time, Brick opens it to reveal a rolling TV inside. The screen switches on to reveal Chris, who’s in a bathrobe and ready for bed._

CHRIS: Let’s make this quick, shall we? Chef has errands to run.

_Owen passes out voting devices, and everyone makes their selections. When they’re done, the kids turn their attention to Chris, who looks at the results on a tablet._

CHRIS: You have fish? Or marshmallows?

OWEN: Maybe we should all stand, and whoever’s safe should sit down.

CHRIS: Works for me.

NOAH: You know I _hate_ standing, Owen.

_Everyone stands up._

CHRIS: Well, the first safety of the night goes to… Noah.

_Noah sits down and breathes a sigh of relief._

CHRIS: Owen, Jo, Amy. You are also safe.

_The three named contestants sit down. Brick and Lindsay stare at each other from across the fire. Neither is malicious, but neither wants to go home._

CHRIS: Brick volunteered to wheel the TV during the challenge, slowing you down. Lindsay volunteered to scout ahead, earning you Shrimp a swim in quicksand. But only one person will be going home tonight.

_Close up on Brick, who glances down at Jo for support. She elbows him in the rib._

CHRIS: And that person is…

_Close up on Lindsay, who is holding Owen’s hand for emotional support. The music swells in suspense._

CHRIS: Lindsay.

_Lindsay slumps in defeat, but remains standing. Brick sits down, and Jo offers him a fistbump._

OWEN: No, Linds!

LINDSAY: Sorry I almost got us all killed, guys.

JO: [sarcastically] When you go home, maybe you can buy some new boots.

CHRIS: Wouldn’t count on it! All the stores are closed. Plus, you’ll probably be quarantined in your house for two weeks after you get back. 

LINDSAY: [sadly] Awwww!

_Chef lowers his helicopter down. Lindsay steps on the bottom rung of the rope ladder, and Chef lifts her into the sky._

LINDSAY: Bye guys!

_Her screams fade into the distance as Chef flies away._

CHRIS: Hey, does the ‘Helicopter of Peril’ have a nice ring to it?

NOAH: Not really.

CHRIS: I’ll think about it.

_Cut to direct feed from Chris’s mansion._

CHRIS: And that wraps up our second elimination of the season. Will Sammy and Amy ever reconcile their differences? Will I deliver on the promises I made for the Roosters’ food choices? And will Zoey’s phone ever run out of battery? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Owen- Amy  
> Noah- Brick  
> Amy- Lindsay  
> Jo- Lindsay  
> Brick- Lindsay  
> Lindsay- Amy
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay


	3. Episode 3: Spice and Dice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Roosters' reward from the last challenge arrives incomplete. Several contestants form alliances to keep themselves in the game longer.

_We open to a shot of Chris in his pristine mansion kitchen. As he picks up a smoothie, he smiles at the audience._

CHRIS: Previously on Total Drama!

_Cut to the Cantankerous Roosters jogging through the woods._

CHRIS: The teams were tasked with carrying one teammate to the newly built mess hall!

_Harold runs into the beehive. The bees scatter the Roosters._

CHRIS: For one team, things got un-bee-lievably out of control.

_Cut to the Shrimp, who realize they’re knee deep in quicksand._

CHRIS: Meanwhile, the other team _quickly_ found themselves sinking into trouble.

_Cut to Lightning piggybacking on Sky’s back._

CHRIS: While the Shrimp tried to escape, Sky and Lightning finished the challenge for the Roosters.

_Cut to the contestants gathered around Zoey’s phone._

CHRIS: As a reward, the Roosters got to pick the mess hall’s first order of food. 

_Cut to the Shrimps’ campfire. Brick sits down and fist bumps Jo. Lindsay frowns in defeat._

CHRIS: At the end of the night, it came down to Brick and Lindsay, and our lovable blonde was the one sent home. 

_Cut to the TV sinking in the sand next to Brick._

CHRIS: _I_ was hoping for Brick to get the boot after he lost my _TV_ , but you win some, you lose some.

_Cut back to Chris, who is finishing his smoothie. He sets it down on the counter and beams at the camera._

CHRIS: What’s in store for our eleven remaining campers? Find out right here, right now, on Total! Drama! Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_We open in the morning, about an hour after dawn. Noah and Owen walk through the forest using the path the contestants forged yesterday._

OWEN: D’you think if we get there first, Chris will give us a prize?

NOAH: Doubt it. For all we know, Chris is eating Harold’s sushi and Leshawna’s donuts in the comfort of his own home.

OWEN: [pouts] Why couldn’t _we_ have won the challenge?

NOAH: You probably would’ve asked for sushi and donuts anyways.

OWEN: [giggles] Yeah, true.

_Back at the beach campsite, Leshawna watches Harold draw in the sand with a stick._

HAROLD: M’lady.

_He steps back to reveal his creation: a portrait of Leshawna blowing a kiss._

LESHAWNA: You’re sweet, Harold baby.

HAROLD: Thanks. Maybe I should major in art. I think I’d do pretty good.

_Sammy emerges from the woods holding a handful of fresh picked berries. Zoey appears beside her._

ZOEY: Nice haul.

SAMMY: Thanks. I, uh, figured I should grab some, just in case Chris doesn’t deliver on the food he promised.

ZOEY: Cool. Hey! [picks up a red berry from Sammy’s hand] Do you think I could use these berries to redye my hair? Who knows when I’ll have time to buy actual dye.

SAMMY: That might work. Your hair looks nice right now, though. You don’t need to redye it.

ZOEY: Thanks! Heh, maybe _you_ should try dying your hair.

SAMMY: Me? Why?

ZOEY: I’m honestly surprised you haven’t already.

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: Sammy is a sweet girl, but she’s also kinda a doormat. Hello, she spent last season sticking it to Amy, but they still wear the exact same outfit and hairstyle? [shakes her head] Come on, Sammy, establish an identity! Refuse to conform! [END CONFESSIONAL]

SAMMY: Ha ha. Maybe after I get sent home… I mean win! After I win, I’ll dye my hair.

ZOEY: That’s the spirit!

_Sammy and Zoey go their separate ways. Lightning and Sky are having a discussion at the campfire pit. There is one log between them. Sammy sits down on the log and starts eating her berries._

LIGHTNING: Do you _sha-mind_?

SAMMY: [startled] Oh, sorry! Do you want some berries?

LIGHTNING: [angrily] Sky and Lightning were in the middle of a conversation!

SKY: No, no! Samey—I mean Sammy—don’t worry about it! It’s fine, right, Lightning?

LIGHTNING: [rolls his eyes and huffs] _Fine_.

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: Is it so wrong that Lightning wanted to have some alone time with Sky? She’s a bomb athlete, a cute girl, and a sha-awesome speaker! Blonde Girl isn’t any of those things. [END CONFESSIONAL]

SKY: So, Lightning, what were you saying about the Olympics?

LIGHTNING: It’s probably gonna get postponed.

SKY: Don’t say stuff like that! You could jinx it!

LIGHTNING: I got a gut feeling about that, and my gut doesn’t lie about the important stuff.

ZOEY: [walking by with her phone in hand] Hey guys, the Olympics just got postponed!

SKY: W-what? That’s awful!

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: What is Zoey’s problem? She just _had_ to sha-swoop in and steal Lightning’s thunder! [END CONFESSIONAL]

SAMMY: At least we’re on a beach instead of being stuck inside 24/7.

SKY: That’s extra motivation to stay in the game as long as possible.

SAMMY: As if the one million dollars wasn’t enough.

_Sky and Sammy chuckle together, and even Lightning joins in. As they’re laughing, a helicopter flies in overhead. It flies low over the center of the island. A crate drops off the side, and the helicopter disappears again._

SKY: That must be our food!

LIGHTNING: My protein powder! Breakfast is sha-served!

_The portable TV switches on. Chris stands front and center. All the contestants rush over, including the previously absent Stalwart Shrimp: Jo, Brick, and Amy._

CHRIS: Morning, campers! Chef just informed me the helicopter made its delivery. I suggest heading over to the mess hall for the _challenge_.

BRICK: You mean breakfast, right, sir?

CHRIS: No, I mean _challenge_. Now, can someone _responsible_ please take the portable TV?

_Everyone silently looks at each other. No one wants to be in charge and risk Chris’ wrath._

CHRIS: [sighs] Zoey! You’ve been very tech savvy so far, haven’t you?

ZOEY: [shoves her phone into her pocket] I’ll take the TV, Chris.

_The contestants set off for the mess hall. Leshawna and Harold lead the front. A few paces behind, Sky and Lightning continue to chat. They are followed by Jo, Brick, and Amy. Finally, Sammy walks alone, and Zoey brings up the back as she pushes the TV cart._

ZOEY: Psst, hey, Sammy!

SAMMY: [turns around] Are you talking to me?

ZOEY: Yep. Wanna talk for a little bit?

SAMMY: Okay. I guess.

_Sammy falls in line with Zoey._

ZOEY: I’m a bit of a wallflower, so I notice things. And from here, it’s pretty obvious how we’ve all sectioned off.

SAMMY: You mean how Sky almost always talks to Lightning? And how my sister is always hanging around Brick and Jo?

ZOEY: Exactly! Almost unconsciously, these little groups have formed.

SAMMY: I guess it’s because if you’ve competed with someone before, it’s easier to stick around them instead of making new friends.

ZOEY: Something like that. 

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: I know if Jasmine was here competing, I’d only talk to her. And maybe Shawn. [END CONFESSIONAL]

SAMMY: [suspicious] Hey, are you trying to form an alliance with me?

ZOEY: [surprised] Don’t say that like it’s a bad thing. I was just going to suggest that maybe we should stick together. Maybe we could talk to Harold and Leshawna or Lightning and Sky about joining forces.

SAMMY: Okay. We can have an alliance. It’s not like I have a better alternative.

ZOEY: Yay! And maybe, I dunno, we could be friends, too?

SAMMY: Uh, yeah, sure.

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Having people want to be friends with _me_ instead of my sister… That’s still a new experience. Zoey’s pretty cool. She’s spent a _lot_ of time on her phone this season, but that doesn’t matter too much. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: Sammy may be a doormat _and_ a cheerleader, but I see potential in her. Fingers crossed, we’re looking at Friendship Finale 3.0! [END CONFESSIONAL]

 _Cut to Jo, Brick, and Amy, who are walking side by side. Brick is doing his army march, Jo is_ mocking _his army march, and Amy is bemused by the whole act._

JO: Maybe you should swipe some of Lightning’s protein powder, Brickface. You could use the extra boost.

BRICK: If you’re implying I’m physically challenged, that’s a negative. I’ve kept pace with you since the very beginning of Total Drama, and you know it.

JO: [smirking] You’re right. Maybe we should give it to Miss Head Cheerleader over here.

AMY: Shut up, Jo. I’ve won more competitions than you could ever dream of.

JO: Total Drama isn’t one of them.

AMY: It’s not like _you’ve_ ever made it to the finale, either.

BRICK: Nice burn, Miss Amy.

AMY: [sweetly] Thanks, Brick!

_Flash forward. Everyone arrives at the mess hall. Noah and Owen stand to the side of the larger-than-Owen crate Chef dropped off. Owen is crying._

HAROLD: What’s got _Owen’s_ goat? 

OWEN: [tearfully] N-noah and I tried to open the crate so we could get the f-food, but we couldn’t get it open! I’m hungry!

_He dissolves into tears and sobs into Noah’s shoulder. Noah is expressionless._

NOAH: Does anybody have a crowbar?

_Chris appears on the TV._

CHRIS: Welcome to the first part of the challenge: open the box! Please take turns so both teams have an equal chance at winning. Or not. I don’t care.

_The TV remains on, but Chris sits down on his couch and starts reading a magazine._

JO: You heard the man! Go, go, go!

SAMMY: Wait! Be careful, we don’t want to destroy the food in there.

AMY: Shut up, Samey!

JO: Not my food, so I don’t care. Brick, get ready to carry me!

BRICK: Pardon?

_Jo jumps onto Brick’s so he’s carrying her piggyback._

JO: Cheer Squad, get on my shoulders!

HAROLD: I have a screwdriver on my key ring.

LIGHTNING: Unscrew that box, skinny man!

_While Harold attacks the crate with his screwdriver, Amy performs a perfect flip and lands on Jo’s back._

JO: Brick-for-brains, move us closer to the crate so Amy can get on.

AMY: What am _I_ supposed to do?

JO: Stomp on it until it collapses under your weight!

LIGHTNING: Sha- _boom_!

_Lightning tackles Brick; more aptly, he falls to the ground and hugs Brick’s ankles so the army cadet can’t move._

BRICK: Uh, Noah? Owen? Get this guy off of me!

NOAH: [to Owen] This is your time to shine, buddy!

OWEN: For the food!

_Owen rushes over. Instead of taking Lightning off Brick, he simply picks up both Brick and Lightning. At the top, Jo and Amy teeter wildly._

AMY: Be careful, you big oaf!

CHRIS: So you’re creating the Leaning Tower of Pisa, eh? I like it.

LESHAWNA: Harold, you’re taking too long. Let me do it.

_Leshawna picks up a stick and begins thwacking the crate._

HAROLD: No! You’ll damage my sushi!

_Sky turns to Zoey and Sammy._

SKY: We should help, too! Grab sticks!

_The three girls grab sticks lying on the ground and they also attack the crate. Meanwhile, Owen is struggling to carry his team. Noah’s hands are cupped around his mouth and he shouts directions._

NOAH: A little more to the right. No, the left! _My_ left! 

OWEN: I’m trying!

BRICK: Hurry, soldier! Time is of the essence!

_Pan up to Jo and Amy. To protect herself from falling off, Amy wraps her legs tightly around Jo’s neck. Jo strains to breathe and punches Amy’s legs to get her attention. It works; Amy relaxes her legs a bit._

AMY: Stop hitting my legs, freak!

JO: Watch it, Cheer _loser_! You almost choked me! 

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: It’s almost like Amy was _trying_ to kill me. Hah. As if she’d ever succeed. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Owen stumbles close enough to the crate for Amy to climb on. Jo also clambers on; in the process, she kicks Brick in the eye._

BRICK: Oww!

JO: Jump, Amy!

_Jo and Amy alternate jumps. With each jump, we can see cracks appear on the sides of the crate. Pan down to the Rooster girls who are desperately hitting the crate with their sticks._

LESHAWNA: Harder, people, harder!

HAROLD: Just let me through!

LESHAWNA: Harold! You aren’t contributing at all!

HAROLD: Gosh, I was _trying_ to unscrew it, but you won’t _let_ me!

_Meanwhile, Amy is seething with rage as she jumps. Even Jo is taken aback by how angry she looks._

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: Oh it’s easy to break open a crate like that. Just pretend you’re stomping on your _stupid_ twin sister who ruined your spring break, and you’re good to go! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The crate cracks under Amy’s and Jo’s pressure. Jo and Amy scream as they fall onto the contents. The Roosters are knocked back by the force. Owen and Brick cheer._

CHRIS: [from TV screen] Looks like the Shrimp took the lead.

LESHAWNA: No way! How do you know it was _their_ stompin’ and not _our_ whacking?

CHRIS: [chuckles snidely] Because I said so. Now, campers, please take a look at the food I’ve provided for you.

_Everyone steps back. Brick offers Jo a hand to help her up, and she begrudgingly takes it._

HAROLD: Hey, that isn’t sushi!

_Among other things, the crate’s contents include the following: a package of raw fish and dried seaweed for Harold; several boxes of uncooked lasagna and two blocks of cheese for Sky; a bag of corn chips and an assortment of peppers, onions, and tomatoes for Zoey; four cartons of cranberries for Sammy; bags of yeast, flour, and sugar for Leshawna; and two cans of beans for Lightning._

LIGHTNING: _Where_ is Lightning’s protein powder?

CHRIS: You _may_ have noticed that I’ve sent you the ingredients for your requests. That’s because today’s challenge is a _cooking_ challenge!

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Yay! I’m kinda great at cooking. Amy always forced me to Mom and Dad in the kitchen while she went out with her friends. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: We have five different meals for you all to concoct. No one is making protein powder. That was a stupid suggestion, Lightning.

LIGHTNING: Come out here and say that to my face!

CHRIS: Each team will be in charge of two dishes, and _no_ recipes will be provided. Zoey!

ZOEY: Yes?

CHRIS: If you use your phone to look up anything, the Roosters will be disqualified. Understood?

ZOEY: Yes sir.

CHRIS: Both teams will be making Sammy’s cranberry juice. Stalwart Shrimp, because you won the first challenge, you may choose first. Which delicacy will you be serving?

OWEN: Oh! Oh! Lasagna please!

Sky: Dang it!

CHRIS: Lasagna for the _monsieur_. Cantankerous Roosters?

HAROLD: I could really go for some sushi.

ZOEY: I think sushi is the most filling item.

LESHAWNA: Fine. Chris, we pick sushi!

CHRIS: Excellent choice. Shrimp, will you finish your lasagna off with donuts or dip?

OWEN: I-

AMY: Shut up, Owen. _Brick_ what do you think we should get?

BRICK: Uh, well-

NOAH: We will take the donuts, please.

_Amy glares at Noah, while Owen claps with glee. Brick and Jo are unfazed._

CHRIS: And that means the Roosters will have to make the dip. Get cookin’, contestants! I’ll check back in two hours.

_The TV switches off. Everyone immediately makes a grab for their ingredients. Once everyone’s hands are full, they run into the mess hall for the first time._

HAROLD: It’s so… clean.

LESHAWNA: It doesn’t smell like vomit!

_The Stalwart Shrimp take the right side of the kitchen, the Cantankerous Roosters take the left. Jo and Brick dump the lasagna and ingredients on the countertop._

BRICK: How are we divvying up the duties?

NOAH: Owen and I will make the donuts. Brick, you make the sauce. Jo, you boil the pasta. Amy, you squeeze those cranberries into juice.

JO: Wow, Bossypants, I didn’t know you were a culinary genius.

NOAH: Owen and I have been on cooking shows, and frankly it takes more expertise to make good donuts than good pasta. Plus, I need to keep an eye on him so he doesn’t eat our stuff.

BRICK: Sir, yes sir!

_The Shrimp begin their cooking. On the other side of the kitchen, Harold and Leshawna work on the sushi. Sky and Lightning are cutting up vegetables for the dip, and Zoey and Sammy have been relegated to the cranberry station._

ZOEY: [crushing cranberries in her hands] So why’d you ask for cranberry juice?

SAMMY: That’s my favorite drink. [a smile slips across her face] And Amy hates it. I figured if we had to share our food with the Shrimp, she wouldn’t take it all from me.

ZOEY: Strategic. I like it.

SAMMY: Other than that, we like basically the same things. 

ZOEY: Has she _ever_ been nice to you?

SAMMY: [sliding cranberries into a blender] She didn’t suck _all_ of the time. We got into arguments a lot when we were young, but things didn’t really escalate until middle school. That’s when everything became a popularity contest.

ZOEY: Pfft. Popularity, right? Who would ever care about stuff like that?

SAMMY: I would have liked to be popular. That’s better than having no friends.

ZOEY: You can have friends without selling out to become popular.

SAMMY: Aren’t we all selling out by coming on a reality show?

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: Wow. Deep. [END CONFESSIONAL]

ZOEY: I guess it depends on your reasons. I auditioned for Total Drama to make friends, since I was stuck in a small town of phonies.

SAMMY: I auditioned hoping I’d get some space from Amy. Look how well that turned out.

_Zoey and Sammy smile at each other._

ZOEY: Come on. Let’s go look for some extra berries to really spice up this juice.

_As the girls exit their workspace, the camera pans to Lightning and Sky, who are cutting up the vegetables._

SKY: It’s taking all my willpower not to eat some peppers right now.

LIGHTNING: Go for it. They won’t notice if one or two go missing.

_Sky pops two pepper slices into her mouth._

LIGHTNING: Lightning’s only made a dip once before, at my ex-girlfriend’s Super Bowl party.

SKY: [funny expression crosses her face] That must have been a fun time.

LIGHTNING: We got salsa all over the walls! It was insane. 

SKY: Mmhmm.

LIGHTNING: What about you? Any boyfriend for you at home?

_Lightning has only watched three seasons of Total Drama. Pahkitew Island is not one of them._

SKY: Erm. No.

LIGHTNING: The guys at your school are missing out then. They could be dating a future Olympic athlete! Sha-sucks for them!

_Sky burps._

LIGHTNING: Gesundheit.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: [fanning herself] You know that moment when you realize you’re talking to a _really_ attractive guy even though it ended in disaster last time you did that? Right. Me neither. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut back to the Shrimp. Brick is mixing tomatoes in a bowl. He looks over at Jo, who is picking lint off her hoodie. The water on the stove behind her is bowling._

BRICK: Uh, Jo, you might wanna put the pasta in now.

JO: I don’t take orders from you, Master Chef Junior.

BRICK: Do you want to lose this challenge?

JO: [annoyed] If we lose the challenge, I’d just vote you off.

BRICK: [also annoyed] On what grounds?

_Jo gets in Brick’s face._

JO: On the grounds of being annoying.

NOAH: [offscreen, deadpan] Just put the stupid pasta in the stupid bowl. 

_Pan to Noah. He is kneading dough with one hand. His other arm is outstretched, and his hand is on Owen’s face in an attempt to stop the latter from devouring the raw dough._

OWEN: [drooling] Dough… nuts…

NOAH: Twenty more minutes, buddy.

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: By the time I was ten, my parents were done with parenting and figured their genius ninth child could teach himself. So yes, I’ve been baking for a long time. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Jo dumps the lasagna in the pot. Pan over to the Roosters. Leshawna lays strips of seaweed down while Harold chops up the fish. A pot of rice is boiling in their oven._

LESHAWNA: Are you sure we’re doin’ this right?

HAROLD: As certain as I’ll ever be. In fact, I might change my course schedule so I can quadruple major in culinary arts when I get home.

LESHAWNA: [chuckles] You _still_ haven’t settled on what you’re gonna study?

HAROLD: There’s just so many fields in which I am educated. The possibilities are endless.

LESHAWNA: First of all, give me that fish. Second, just because you pick one major doesn’t mean you’re closing yourself off to all the other subjects you enjoy.

HAROLD: How am I going to have time to practice my Hebrew if I’m too busy developing an agricultural growth serum?

LESHAWNA: [rolls eyes]] How are you going to graduate at all if you’re constantly signing up for new seasons of this freaky reality show?

_Harold grabs handfuls of cooked rice and neatly lines them up on the sushi. Then he places the chopped fish on top._

HAROLD: Spending a few extra years at college would be no financial burden assuming I win a million dollars. Also, we need spices to really make this sushi _shine_.

LESHAWNA: What if the judge doesn’t like spices? Wait a minute, who’s judging this whole shebang, anyways?

HAROLD: I’m going to find some extra spices.

_Harold leaves. Leshawna hurries over to Lightning and Sky._

LESHAWNA: Lightning, Sky, do either of you know who’s judging this?

LIGHTNING: Chris, _duh_.

LESHAWNA: How is Chris supposed to eat our salsa if he’s a bajillion miles away?

SKY: Maybe he’ll make a guest appearance? [shrugs] I honestly don’t know.

_Sammy and Zoey return at that moment. They stand in the doorway for a moment, watching the other three Roosters talk._

ZOEY: [whispering to Sammy] Do you think Leshawna’s asking them to be in an alliance?

SAMMY: [whispering back] I don’t know!

ZOEY: You should talk to Sky about it. I’m not on good terms with Lightning.

SAMMY: I guess.

 _Zoey and Sammy wait until Leshawna has left and they return to the blender. While Zoey adds their berries, Sammy meanders over to Lightning and Sky_.

SAMMY: Hey guys. Uh, I was wondering, I mean, no pressure or anything, but-

LIGHTNING: Spit it out, Cheer Girl!

SKY: Lightning!

LIGHTNING: [sheepishly] Sorry. Continue talking, Cheer Girl.

SAMMY: Zoey and I were wondering if you wanted to join our alliance?

SKY: An alliance?

SAMMY: Yeah! You know, we vote together and stuff.

LIGHTNING: If there’s four of us, and six people on the team… [counts on his fingers] We could only vote off Harold and Leshawna!

SKY: Leshawna’s a very strong player. Harold, on the other hand…

SAMMY: Y-you don’t have to decide right now or anything. But the offer’s open. 

SKY: I’ll think about it.

LIGHTNING: Lightning doesn’t have to think. Lightning is _in_.

_Lightning forcefully shakes Sammy’s hand. She gets frazzled. Cut to the Shrimp. Noah is glazing his donuts. Owen is thumping his foot like a puppy waiting to be thrown a bone._

NOAH: Dude, you need to be patient.

_Jo watches Noah and Owen talking. She turns to Brick._

JO: Shorty and Fatso are awfully chummy. Are you seeing a problem with that?

BRICK: Potential alliance? 

JO: Exactly. Straighten out those lasagna strips.

_Brick hastens to follow her instructions, and Jo continues._

JO: There’s no way Owen would ever vote Noah out. And vice versa, probably. That means they could team up and take one of us out.

BRICK: Are you sure you cooked this lasagna enough?

JO: _Brick_!

BRICK: Right. If we keep winning challenges, their camaraderie is inconsequential. I’m not going to worry about it.

JO: Shut up.

_Flash forward. Zoey wheels Chris’s TV into the kitchen. It switches on. Chris is wearing a nice outfit and he sits at a fancy dinner table._

CHRIS: Dinner is served!

OWEN: It’s lunchtime.

CHRIS: Whatever. Neither Chef nor I wanted to come out and interact with you. You guys probably have the virus. So, I’d like one person to hold each dish, and you will all go outside to meet today’s guest judge, a previous contestant on the show.

LESHAWNA: Now who could that be? Owen’s the foodie, and he’s already here.

_The contestants pick up their food and head outside. Leshawna carries the sushi, Lightning carries the chips n’ dip, and Sammy carries the cranberry juice. For the Shrimp, Noah carries the donuts, Brick carries the lasagna, and Amy carries the cranberry juice. When they see the guest judge, everyone gasps._

OWEN: Oh my gosh!

LESHAWNA: DJ!

DJ: Hey guys. Nice to be here, or something.

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: It makes sense. DJ judged the cooking competition in season four. [END CONFESSIONAL]

HAROLD: How’d they convince you to come back on the show?

DJ: Chris promised me I wouldn’t have to eat anything with mutant eyeballs. Also, Momma’s kept me cooped up in the house since the quarantine started, and I’ve been dying to get some fresh air, even if it’s here.

CHRIS: Enough chit chat! One at a time, you will feed DJ, whose eyes will be closed. DJ, you will rate the dishes. Whichever team has the highest score wins. Capiche?

_DJ shuts his eyes._

CHRIS: The sushi, if you will. 

_Harold places the sushi platter right in DJ’s hand. DJ gingerly takes a sushi roll and pops it into his mouth. He chews it around for a minute, swallows, and gags a bit._

DJ: That was _really_ spicy! And the fish felt slimy.

HAROLD: That’s just how they are.

DJ: I give the sushi a solid six. Wasn’t disgusting, but it definitely wasn’t my favorite.

_Harold shrugs and starts eating the sushi himself. Meanwhile, Brick comes up with a plate of lasagna. He holds up a chunk of lasagna on the end of his fork._

BRICK: [sing-song voice] Here comes the airplane!

_Jo, Amy, and Noah snicker. DJ, however, bites the lasagna. He smiles as he chews, then swallows._

DJ: Pretty good. The lasagna is undercooked—

_Brick shoots Jo a look._

DJ: —but the sauce is excellent. I’d rate this an eight.

CHRIS: Next, the desserts or whatever. Chips and dip, you’re up!

_Lightning steps up and shoves a bunch of chips into DJ’s mouth._

DJ: Mmph!

_Lightning yanks open DJ’s jaw and pours the salsa down. The Roosters watch, mouths agape. DJ sputters before eventually swallowing the food._

DJ: Terrible presentation, delicious salsa. I’ll give this one a seven.

LESHAWNA: [muttering] If we lose because of this, I’m sending Lightning home.

_Noah approaches with the donuts. Smirking, he waves one donut under DJ’s nose. The latter breathes in deeply, savoring the tantalizing smell of fresh donuts. Finally, Noah places one in DJ’s hands. He picks it up and takes several nibbles before popping the whole thing in his mouth._

DJ: Wow. I just. Wow. [tears well in his eyes] This reminds me of Momma. I miss you, Momma! Ehem, I’d rate these donuts a nine.

_Noah high fives Owen before giving the rest of the platter to him._

CHRIS: And finally, to wash it down… two renditions of cranberry juice!

_Sammy and Amy both pass DJ a cup of their cranberry juices. Both twins glare at each other before returning to stand with their teams. DJ takes a sip of Sammy’s first. One eye pops open._

DJ: I taste a hint of other berries? I don’t know the _names_ of those other berries, but it’s very nice. However… this is awfully spicy for cranberry juice.

HAROLD: Yeah, I had extra spices leftover from the sushi.

_Zoey and Sammy gape at him._

DJ: I guess, a five. Spicy cranberry isn’t a favorite flavor of mine. 

_DJ sips Amy’s cranberry juice._

DJ: Now this is classic. Nothing new or interesting. But it still tastes good. I’ll give this a six.

AMY: _Ha_! In your _face_ , Sparemy!

_Owen and Lightning are both trying to count the scores on their hands. Sky and Zoey look defeated._

CHRIS: Considering the Shrimp consistently scores higher than the Roosters, a final tally isn’t really necessary-

HAROLD: It’s 18 versus 23.

CHRIS: _Yes_. With a five point lead, the Shrimp won this challenge.

OWEN: Woo hoo!

_The Shrimp all celebrate. Owen picks up Noah and twirls him around; the centrifugal force makes Noah nauseous. Jo gives Brick a friendly punch. Brick punches her back. Jo punches back harder; Brick falls over._

CHRIS: I’ll see you Roosters at the ceremony tonight. Shrimp, your reward is this: Blue or Gold?

AMY: How is _that_ a reward?

JO: Gold! Like gold medals, ‘cause we’re winners.

CHRIS: Noted. And one more thing! I sent marshmallows in that crate. You can use them at the ceremony.

OWEN: ...I ate them.

CHRIS: ...Standing and sitting it is, then.

_Cut to the campfire ceremony. DJ stands next to the TV; he’s going home with tonight’s loser The Roosters vote on their voting devices. Zoey and Sammy glance at each other. Leshawna looks peeved._

CHRIS: Votes are in! Everyone, stand up. Whoever is left standing at the end will be whisked away on the Helicopter of Despair! Mwahaha.

_DJ coughs._

CHRIS: Right. The first safe person of the night is… Leshawna.

_Leshawna sits._

CHRIS: Sky.

_Sky sits._

CHRIS: Zoey.

_Zoey sits._

CHRIS: Samey.

_Sammy glares at him, but sits down anyways._

CHRIS: We’re down to our two men. Who was the bigger disappointment today?

_Lightning flexes his biceps confidently. Harold, no stranger to being in the Bottom Two, scratches his armpit._

CHRIS: And the third person to be eliminated from Total Drama Quarantine… is..

_Leshawna’s fingers are crossed. Sammy stares at the ground. Sky steals glances at Lightning._

CHRIS: Harold.

HAROLD: _Gosh_.

LESHAWNA: No! Harold!

HAROLD: I hope you’ll visit me after the show ends, Leshawna.

CHRIS: Hello? Pandemic going on, no one is visiting _anyone_ anytime soon.

_Chef arrives in the helicopter. DJ steps onto the rope ladder and offers his hand to Harold, who accepts. They cling to each other as Chef lifts into the sky and vrooms away._

HAROLD: I love you Leshawnaaaaaaaa.

_Harold’s voice fades into the distance._

LESHAWNA: I love you too, Harold.

_Cut to a direction feed from Chris’s mansion. He looks smugly at the camera._

CHRIS: Three down, ten to go. Who will bite the dust next? What will become of Zoey and Sammy’s alliance? How will the Shrimp’s pick of gold factor into the next challenge? The answers to these questions and more on the next episode of Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Roll credits._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Harold: Lightning  
> Sky: Harold  
> Lightning: Harold  
> Zoey: Harold  
> Sammy: Harold  
> Leshawna: Lightning
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold


	4. Episode 4: Suspension Bridge of Disbelief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris' next challenge involves constructing bridges; alliances shift and several contestants have revelations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you're enjoying this fanfiction so far! Happy Easter!

_We open to Chris and Chef playing a racing video game on Chris’s giant flatscreen TV._

CHRIS: [glancing at the camera, then back at the game, etc.] Previously… on… Total Drama Quarantine!

_Cut to a shot of Jo and Amy jumping on the crate._

CHRIS: The contestants had to get creative when opening my gift for them.

_Cut to Noah holding Owen back from eating the donut dough._

CHRIS: And they had to get even _more_ creative when they were tasked with cooking up some delicious foodstuffs!

_Cut to Sammy and Zoey blending the cranberries._

CHRIS: Zoey initiated an alliance with Sammy after realizing how cliquey the group has become.

_Cut to Harold placing spices on the sushi._

CHRIS: And Harold insisted adding spices to both the sushi _and_ the cranberry juice.

_Cut to Lightning shoving the salsa and chips down DJ’s throat._

CHRIS: Special guest judge DJ deemed the Roosters to have the inferior platters.

_Cut to the campfire ceremony. DJ offers Harold his hand, and the latter accepts._

CHRIS: Harold got sent home, where he’ll probably immediately contract a virus. [snickers] So sad. 

_Cut back to Chris and Chef. Chris throws a hand in the air in victory; he has bested Chef at their video game. Chef throws his controller against the wall and folds his arms, peeved._

CHRIS: We have ten kids left. Who will be eliminated next? Whose autoimmune system will be compromised? Find out right here on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_The scene opens in the girls’ hut. Each girl sleeps on a beach towel they brought from home. Everyone is still asleep except Amy, who is already dressed. She sneers at both Jo’s and Sammy’s sleeping figures before leaving the hut. Brick is outside, lacing his shoes against one of the firepit rocks._

AMY: Good morning, Brick! It’s a good day to be a winner, isn’t it?

BRICK: Salutations, Miss Amy. I suppose it is.

AMY: About to leave for your morning jog? Allow me to join you!

BRICK: Actually, I was gonna wait for Jo.

AMY: _Ugh_ , why? I’m pretty sure Jo hates your guts. She’s, like, your worst enemy or something.

BRICK: [chuckle] “Enemy” is a strong word. I think we have a charming back and forth.

AMY: _Whatever._ Come on, let’s get going. Jo won’t care. You can explain your army mumbo jumbo on the way.

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: [smugly] In no way do I find Brick attractive. But _all_ the girls at school will be _so_ jealous if I come home with a military boyfriend. That’s a darn good achievement, even if he _is_ only a five out of ten. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Flash forward a half hour. Brick and Amy are still on their run, but everyone else has woken up and sits around the rock circle, chatting. Lightning sits on the leftmost rock. Either seat beside him is vacant, but Leshawna sits two rocks up from Lightning, and Sky sits beside her._

JO: Hey, Brightning, where’s Cadet Kiss-up?

LIGHTNING: Probably on a run. Hey! Maybe _we_ should go on a run. Let’s ask Sky to join us!

JO: I’m not running with _you_.

LIGHTNING: That’s _your_ loss.

_Jo ignores Lightning and sits down between him and Leshawna. Leshawna sighs and doodles in the sand, just like Harold had done last episode._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: First Lindsay, then Harold? Owen is the only person left who I’m friends with, and he’s on the other team! [her sadness hardens into resolve] Which means I’ve gotta buck up and play harder. Million dollars, I’m coming for _you_! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Leshawna turns to Sky, who is sitting on her left._

LESHAWNA: Hey, Sky, watch this.

_She draws a cartoon of Chris in the sand, adding devil horns and a pronged tail. Sky laughs._

SKY: That’s an apt drawing of him. Here, let me draw Chef.

_Leshawna passes the stick to Sky, and the latter draws Chef with hulking muscles, and an oversized Chef’s hat. On his face, she adds a grumpy frown._

LESHAWNA: Those two are too peas in a pod.

_A helicopter flies overhead, drops a crate somewhere on the island, and leaves. No one bats an eye._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Once the helicopter arrives, we know the challenge is gonna start soon. It’s routine at this point. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sammy and Zoey are sitting near the beach._

ZOEY: What do you do besides cheerleading?

SAMMY: Um, I go on runs, too. Usually just to get out of the house.

ZOEY: Your sister?

SAMMY: [nods] The tension got unbearable after we were booted from Pahkitew. Amy still hated me, but I was sticking up for myself, and my parents were too terrified to get in the middle. So after school I’d drop my stuff at home, lock my bedroom door, and take a run.

_Cut to Amy and Brick, who are returning from their run._

BRICK: Cheerleading must be quite the workout.

AMY: Oh, it is. Especially when there’s so many losers on the team, like my sister. It’s up to _me_ to make sure they don’t screw up. The girls look up to me. I’m sure it’s the same for you on your plantain or whatever. 

BRICK: You mean my _platoon_? I had a good camaraderie with my fellow cadets. We all looked out for each other.

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: [sighs] He wasn’t even _captain_? Honestly, is this guy even in the military? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_They reach the camp as the TV switches on. Chris lounges poolside, sipping some alcoholic beverage. In the distance, Chef is seen in the pool wearing a pink floaty tube._

CHRIS: Campers! It’s challenge time!

_Everyone gathers around. Amy ribs Sammy to the side so she can see better._

CHRIS: Jo, Brick, and Amy, you’ve been going on runs all week. You’re familiar with the river, right?

JO: You mean the one a half mile east side of here? The one that _some people_ have trouble crossing?

_Jo smirks at Brick and Amy, who avoid her gaze._

CHRIS: That’s the one! Chef just dropped off some supplies so you can attempt today’s challenge. Each team will have to construct a working yet stylish bridge.

ZOEY: We’re building _bridges_?

CHRIS: Correct. I think those directions are simple enough. You have three hours, watch out for snapping turtles, don’t drown, yada yada yada.

NOAH: [raises hand] Wait! What about the reward from yesterday? What did that even mean?

CHRIS: Oh yeah. I had to choose between ordering gold paint or blue paint. Both teams will be using gold courtesy of the Stalwart Shrimp. You better hope that gold doesn’t clash with the landscape. Well, my martini is getting cold, so I’ll see you in three hours. Ciao!

_The TV switches off. Everyone starts the walk down the beach. Zoey pushes the TV with her._

OWEN: Jo, what did you mean when you said some people had trouble crossing the river?

JO: [smirking] Oh you wanna hear _that_ story?

BRICK: [nervously] I don’t think they do.

_Amy huffs and walks faster so she doesn’t have to relive the embarrassment._

JO: The very first day we got here, Brick and I ran around the perimeter, and Amy tagged along. When we got to the river, I went straight across. It’s wide, but you can wade through it no problem. Brick here started following me, but Amy chickened out. Something about not wanting to get her _heels_ wet.

BRICK: And I was just being—

JO: Shut it! Brick stopped and offered to carry Amy across.

NOAH: [snickering] How chivalrous.

JO: Halfway across, Brick tripped on a rock, and they both fell into the water. Amy was screaming her lungs out. Brick looked like he peed his pants, but what else is new?

_Noah and Owen laugh. Brick blushes._

NOAH: How come this is the first we’re hearing of this?

BRICK: Amy made us swear not to tell anybody. Jo and I were sworn to secrecy.

JO: Guess the cat’s out of the bag, huh?

_Flash forward to when the teams have all arrived at the river. There are two crates waiting for them, both with a lock and key. Noah unlocks one crate for the Shrimp, and Lightning unlocks the other for the Roosters._

BRICK: What are we working with, soldiers?

_Noah holds up a variety of poles, rods, planks, and wires._

NOAH: Alright, ladies, we’re building a suspension bridge.

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Harold wasn’t the _only_ nerd on the island. A dude in my Kosmic Kaos clan is an architecture major in Lebanon. He once went on a long rant about suspension bridges. Of course, I logged off midway through, but I got the gist of it. [END CONFESSIONAL]

JO: Hold up, Pipsqueak. Why do you get to decide what we build?

NOAH: Because I’m _smart_?

OWEN: Yeah, he’s super smart! 

BRICK: If Noah knows what the heck he’s doing, I say go for it!

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: A good leader knows how to delegate. Jo wouldn’t know that if it hit her in the face. [END CONFESSIONAL]

JO: _Fine._

_Meanwhile, the Roosters have started work on their own bridge. Sky digs a hole in which to insert a wooden rod, and Lightning hammers it in. Sammy and Leshawna wade to the other side to do the same thing. Zoey lays out boards by length._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: If Harold were still here, we’d be _guaranteed_ to win this challenge. He’d probably insist on making a drawbridge. [chuckles] But since Stringbean’s _not_ here, we’re making the simplest bridge possible: straight across with guard rails. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sky holds out a pole and Lightning hammers it._

LIGHTNING: So? Any thoughts about the alliance?

SKY: The one that voted out Harold yesterday? I’m still thinking it over.

LIGHTNING: [enthusiastically] You should join! The more members, the better.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: If I join an alliance, that could potentially keep me safe, but it also limits my voting options. Example A: If Sammy royally screws up this challenge, the alliance would force me to send home Leshawna, the stronger player, instead of her. Of course, I could betray her, but I’ve learned from experience: dishonesty never ends well. [END CONFESSIONAL]

SKY: I’ll think about it.

LIGHTNING: You should! With us two working together, the alliance will be- _Aah_!

_Lightning jumps in the air to reveal a turtle has latched onto his butt. Sky and Zoey gasp._

LIGHTNING: [hollering] Sha-get it off!

SKY: Zoey, you do it!

ZOEY: You’re better friends with Lightning than I am!

SKY: [burps] Just do it, _please_!

ZOEY: Hold my phone!

_Zoey tosses her phone to Sky. She picks up a pole and starts hitting the turtle. The turtle is shocked and drops off Lightning’s butt. It is angry, but Zoey scoops it up in her arms and strokes its head._

SKY: Zoey, what are you doing?

ZOEY: I’m allowing it to calm down.

LIGHTNING: You should’ve just killed it! That thing is a sha-menace!

ZOEY: If the turtle stays angry, it will just keep attacking us, right?

SKY: That makes sense. Hey Zoey, why don’t you let me release the turtle into the woods, and you finish putting up the poles with Lightning?

_Lightning’s eyes bug out. Zoey sighs heavily and passes the turtle to Sky._

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: I’m looking for more opportunities to spend less time with Lightning. He’s a funny guy, really nice to me. And that’s the problem! I can’t keep being attracted to my teammates. I’ll just get eliminated. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sky walks to the forest edge. She passes the Stalwart Shrimp on the way. Owen has finished positioning two towers in the river. Brick sits at the top of one tower and passes a cable to Jo, who threads it back up to Amy, who sits upon the other tower._

SKY: [to the turtle] They’re working well, aren’t they?

NOAH: [glaring at Jo] Jo! That needs to be at a hundred degree angle, not ninety!

JO: [annoyed] Does it matter, Stickman?

NOAH: If you want this bridge to support weight, then yes, it does!

SKY: Nevermind. 

_Cut to Sammy and Leshawna. They’re done hammering wooden poles into the sand. Now, Leshawna hands a plank of wood to Sammy, who holds it in place while Leshawna hammers it onto the pole._

LESHAWNA: Hold it a lil’ straighter, Sammy.

SAMMY: Like this? [lifts plank higher]

LESHAWNA: Lower it just a smidge.

_Sammy does so, and Leshawna shoots her a thumbs up._

LESHAWNA: [hammering] Perfect! You know, I think we’re gonna win this challenge.

SAMMY: R-really? I sure hope so.

LESHAWNA: Yeah. We’re gettin’ along pretty well.

SAMMY: That’s great!

LESHAWNA: [looks up from her hammering] I love your hair, by the way. So shiny!

SAMMY: Thank you.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Yes, I complimented Sammy because I want to get her on my side. But the girl _does_ have nice hair. Is it wrong [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the Stalwart Shrimp. Noah and Owen lay down planks for the base of the bridge. Beside Owen, Jo works on the left auxiliary cords. A few feet away, Brick and Amy work on the opposite side of the bridge._

AMY: Hey Brick, remember those lunges you showed me the other day?

BRICK: [straining to attach two cables together] I believe so. Why?

AMY: Well, I’ve been trying them out, and they’ve been _awesome_ for my legs. Wanna see?

_Before Brick can respond, Amy lifts her leg into his line of vision. A look of discomfort appears on Brick’s face. Jo has been listening to the conversation, and her mouth drops open. She drops a cable in surprise._

JO: [to herself] I’ve finally figured out why Amy’s been hanging around Brick all week!

_Noah and Owen glance at her. Noah is smirking, Owen looks curious._

OWEN: What’s the reason?

JO: Amy’s gonna join the military, and she’s trying to get the inside scoop from Brick!

_The smirk drops off Noah’s face, and he rolls his eyes._

NOAH: I don’t think Amy is the military type.

JO: It’s always the ones you least expect.

NOAH: Riiight. Anyways, you dropped a cable.

JO: [glares at Noah] Watch yourself, Mister.

_Jo stalks off to retrieve the cable that has floated downstream. Meanwhile, Owen starts hammering in a piece of wood. He screams, and Noah whirls around._

NOAH: What’d you do?

OWEN: Fire ants!

_A line of ants parades along the plank. A zoom-in shot shows the ants are chewing the wood._

NOAH: Kill them! Kill them now!

OWEN: Okay!

_Owen runs out of the water and onto the bridge. He starts jumping on the ants, trying to squash them. The bridge shakes violently._

AMY: [angrily] Hey! Chubby! Stop it!

BRICK: Owen, no!

NOAH: Alright, Big Guy, I think you got most of the ants!

_Owen stops jumping. Several planks of wood drop off the bridge and into the water._

OWEN: Oops.

_The camera follows the wood planks as they float down stream. They pass under the Roosters’ bridge, and the shot zooms out to display the entire bridge. The Roosters have finished the base bridge. Their next task is to assemble the hand railings. Sky, Zoey, and Leshawna stand on the bridge. Sammy and Lightning stand underneath the bridge, holding piles of nails._

LESHAWNA: Zoey, hold this rail in place.

_Leshawna passes the unfinished railing to Zoey and bends over to take some nails from Lightning’s hands. Suddenly, Zoey’s phone starts buzzing. She takes it out of her pocket and starts texting._

LESHAWNA: [off screen] Stop flexing your arm and let me grab the nails, Lightning!

LIGHTNING: [off screen] Let me show off!

_Zoey startles and drops her phone in the water._

ZOEY: [gasps] My phone!

_Zoey drops the railing and jumps into the river to retrieve her phone. Leshawna stands up._

LESHAWNA: Wha-oh!

_Leshawna trips over the fallen railing. She falls off the bridge and lands in Lightning’s arms. Sammy gasps and drops all her nails in the water. Sky also gasps, but for different reasons._

LIGHTNING: Uh, sha-what just happened?

_Zoey stands up, sopping wet, and holds her phone for everyone to see. It buzzes once before dying._

LESHAWNA: Lightning, your muscles are _gorgeous_ , but get offa me!

_Leshawna hops out of Lightning’s arms and gets in Zoey’s face._

LESHAWNA: What the heck happened, Zoey?

ZOEY: So sorry! Gwen texted our favorite band just dropped a new album, and I _had_ to respond. Then my phone fell, and I had to get it.

LESHAWNA: [holding back anger] Well we’ll just have to double time it. Let’s move, people! Get back up there!

SAMMY: Um, Leshawna, I just lost all the nails I was holding.

LIGHTNING: Lightning also lost his nails.

_Leshawna blanches._

ZOEY: I’m sure our bridge will look just as good without a railing.

SKY: Let’s focus on painting it! Chris said that style is part of the criteria.

LIGHTNING: Great idea, Sky! Come on, Roosters! Let’s get painting!

_Zoey exchanges a look with Sammy, then makes eye contact with Lightning. His smile falters. Leshawna doesn’t notice because she’s bent over, looking for nails in the riverbed._

[CONFESSIONAL] ZOEY: Leshawna’s probably mad at me because I halted construction, which _sucks_ because she’s such a nice person. But if it’s between me and her going home… I have the numbers on my side. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Zoey picks up a wood plank in one hand and a paint bucket in the other._

SAMMY: Whatcha doin’?

ZOEY: I have an idea.

_Cut to the Shrimp and their bridge. Jo is on her knees while she nails a plank down. Brick is trying to do the same thing a few feet away, but Amy keeps getting in the way._

AMY: Let me help!

BRICK: With all due respect, Miss Amy, this is more of a one-person job.

AMY: Come on, Bricky! I don’t have anything else to do!

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: _Bricky_? [mimes choking herself] She’s really laying this on thick. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: I’m thinking that once Brick and I start dating, and he introduces me to his splatoon or whatever, I am going to dump him for the hottest guy in the squad. And _that_ is the key to popularity. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Below them, Owen and Noah are painting the wooden towers. On the left pillar, Noah creates a tasteful art deco pattern. On the right pillar, Owen doodles hearts, swirls, and stick figures._

OWEN: Hey Noah, look at this!

_Noah comes over and observes Owen’s handiwork. He’s painted to figures, one large and one small, hugging. The smaller figure is frowning and the larger one is smiling and holding a briefcase._

OWEN: That’s us! And I’m holding the million dollars!

NOAH: [already walking away] Delete that right now. I’m serious.

[CONFESSIONAL] OWEN: [gleeful] That means he likes it! [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: [deadpan] If I win the million dollars, I will buy this island. And then I will walk past that pillar every day. And that will be the only exercise I ever do. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The portable TV roars to life. Chris appears on screen. He’s still on the same poolside deck couch as before, except now he has a nasty sunburn._

CHRIS: Campers! Three hours are up! Let me see the fruits of your labors!

_The campers step back and gather around the TV. The camera drones show footage of the bridges as Chris talks._

CHRIS: First, the Stalwart Shrimp’s suspension bridge. Lookin’ pretty sharp. Not too bad.

_Overall, the bridge is finished. Not polished, but Noah’s art deco is a nice touch. All the cables are in place._

CHRIS: Next, the Cantankerous Roosters’ pedestrian bridge. Not as flashy, I will say that.

_The bridge has handrails only on the right end; the other is a complete safety hazard._

CHRIS: And oh look at the paint detail!

_The camera shows a closeup of one of the wood panels. In gold lettering, someone painted ‘Leshawna’s Bridge.’_

ZOEY: That was me.

_Leshawna smiles at her, but Chris coughs._

CHRIS: Bridge of _Leshawna_? Why not The Chris McLean Bridge of Awesomeness?

LIGHTNING: That’s a sha-lame name, that’s why!

_Everyone laughs at his joke. Chris just looked peeved._

CHRIS: And that, added to the fact your bridge isn’t even finished, is why the Cantankerous Roosters are today’s _losers_!

_The smiles disappear off the Roosters’ faces. The Shrimp celebrate their win. Owen hugs Noah, Brick hugs Jo, and Amy squeezes in between them._

CHRIS: Shrimp, for your reward, you get to pick the next challenge.

JO: What are the options?

CHRIS: Water skiing, a music competition, or cattle wrangling!

NOAH: Where are you going to get the cattle?

CHRIS: You can give me your answer after tonight’s voting ceremony. Now, back to camp!

_On the walk back to camp, Zoey grabs Sammy and Lightning and pulls them behind._

ZOEY: Lightning, is Sky going to join our alliance or not?

LIGHTNING: She said she was still thinking about it!

ZOEY: Alright. As much as it pains me to say it, we’re voting off Leshawna tonight.

_Sammy nods in agreement. Lightning frowns._

ZOEY: Talk to Sky about the vote, Lightning. See if she wants to work with us.

LIGHTNING: Got it.

_Meanwhile, Leshawna and Sky are talking._

LESHAWNA: Zoey’s a cool gal, but the phone stuff is inexcusable.

SKY: I thought her phone battery would run out by now.

LESHAWNA: Strange things happen on Total Drama.

SKY: [chuckles] You’re telling me. Hey, you looked pretty into Lightning earlier. Already moving on from Harold?

LESHAWNA: What? I ain’t into Lightning! I just call it like I see it, and Lightning’s muscles are pretty attractive.

SKY: True.

LESHAWNA: And right now I’m seein’ a gal who _is_ into Lightning.

SKY: [blushing] I don’t know if I am or not. But what I do know is that I can’t get involved with a guy again. Total Drama ruins relationships, and relationships ruin Total Drama.

LESHAWNA: I see your point, girl. But then again, didn’t Zoey and her boyfriend make it to the finale in All Stars?

SKY: I think so. What’s your point?

LESHAWNA: Two things: one, you and Lightning might be a formidable force if you open up to him. And two, Zoey can’t be underestimated.

_Lightning jogs up to them._

LIGHTNING: Hey Leshawna! Sky, wanna talk for a sha-second?

_Leshawna knowingly elbows Sky._

LESHAWNA: Hey Owen, wait up!

_Leshawna leaves the two alone._

LIGHTNING: So, you gonna join Lightning’s alliance or what?

SKY: I don’t know. I don’t think it would be the best idea.

LIGHTNING: But the alliance has _Lightning_ on it, which means it can’t be a bad idea!

_Lightning flexes his muscles. Sky swallows a burp._

SKY: You think voting out Leshawna is the best thing to do? We’d be better off teaming up with her.

LIGHTNING: [eagerly] _We_?

SKY: I, um. What I mean is that I’m not voting for Leshawna. And I don’t think you should, either.

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: Leshawna _did_ call my muscles gorgeous. Plus, staying in the alliance means Sky is the next one going home. And I’m planning on going to the final three with her! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Flash forward to nightfall. Amy paints her toes on the dock. Jo does push ups. Brick is swimming laps in the ocean while Noah and Owen splash each other. While the Shrimp have fun, the Roosters sit around the bonfire, all frowning._

CHRIS: [on the TV screen] It’s voting time!

_Each Rooster takes a remote voting machine. Zoey and Sammy smile confidently. Leshawna frowns as she presses a button. Sky looks from Lightning to Leshawna as she votes. Lightning looks at Zoey, then at Sky, then he kisses his bicep._

CHRIS: And the votes are in! Everyone, stand up.

_Everyone does so._

CHRIS: The following people are safe. Sammy!

_Sammy sits down, smiling._

CHRIS: Sky!

_Sky sits down and twiddles her thumbs._

CHRIS: Lightning!

_Lightning folds his arms confidently._

CHRIS: We’re down to the final two. Zoey and Leshawna! Who is returning to a sucky society and who is staying to live another day?

_Leshawna bites her lip. Zoey furrows her brow in concern._

CHRIS: And the final contestant safe is…

_The camera zooms in on Zoey’s concerned expression._

_The shot switches to Leshawna. Her fingers are crossed as she waits for Chris to say something._

_Chris drags out the silence._

_The music plays._

CHRIS: Leshawna!

_Leshawna jumps in the air. Zoey’s eyes go wide in shock. Sammy also looks surprised._

ZOEY: What! Who voted for me?

SAMMY: Wasn’t me!

LESHAWNA: Sorry, girl. I appreciated the ‘Leshawna’s Bridge’ stunt, but now you can go home and spend all day FaceTiming Gwen and your boo or whoever.

_Chef's helicopter arrives. Chef is wearing a mask over his face. The shock and hurt on Zoey’s face dissipate as she considers Leshawna’s words._

ZOEY: I guess you’re right. I don’t need another million. 

_As she steps onto the rope ladder, Zoey catches sight of Lightning. Her expression sours again._

LIGHTNING: Sha-see ya, loser!

ZOEY: Ugh! Stupid jooooooooooooooooooooock!

_Zoey hangs onto the flailing ladder for dear life as Chef navigates back to the mainland. The Shrimp leave the water and gather at the bonfire._

CHRIS: That was Zoey’s first time being voted out! Took her long enough, eh? Anyways, Shrimp, what challenge have you decided?

NOAH: Music competition.

_Jo rolls her eyes, Owen looks excited, and the remaining three’s expressions are varying degrees of not caring._

CHRIS: Music competition it is! Get some rest campers, your vocal cords will need it!

_Cut to direct feed from Chris’ mansion; the campers can’t hear his closing remarks._

CHRIS: Who will bite the dust during the next challenge? How will Sky deal with her developing feelings for Lightning? Will Jo ever figure out Amy’s real deal? The answers to all these and more in the next episode of Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Roll credits._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Leshawna- Zoey  
> Zoey- Leshawna  
> Lightning- Zoey  
> Sky- Zoey  
> Sammy- Leshawna
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey


	5. Episode 5: A Very Musical Videochat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teams practice social distancing by composing songs while six feet apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The songs that the Shrimp and Roosters sing in this episode don't have a specified tune/melody. Feel free to come up with your own melody for those songs as you read. :)

_We open to the outside of Chris’ mansion. Chris is lying on his side and posing for Chef, who stands behind an easel at the other side of the yard. Chef wears a face mask and gloves as he paints._

CHRIS: Previously on Total Drama Quarantine.

_Cut to the Stalwart Shrimp adding cables to their suspension bridge._

CHRIS: The teams built bridges. Pretty simple challenge by my standards, but...

_Cut to Zoey dropping her phone. Leshawna trips into Lightning’s arms. Sky gasps._

CHRIS: ...One team had more hiccups than the other.

_Cut to Amy flirting with Brick. Jo’s mouth falls open._

CHRIS: Amy explained her five year plan with _Bricky_ , and Jo remains clueless to the whole thing. 

_Cut to Leshawna and Sky walking and talking._

CHRIS: And Sky told Leshawna about her muddled feelings for a certain muscled moron.

_Cut to the campfire ceremony. Lightning kisses his bicep. Zoey is shocked when Leshawna sits down, safe._

CHRIS: And finally, the Roosters burned their bridges with Zoey after Lightning betrayed the alliance and voted for Zo instead of Leshawna.

_Cut back to Chris and Chef. Chris has changed up his pose, much to Chef’s chagrin._

CHRIS: Who will be the next person voted off the island? Find out right here, right now, on Total Drama Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_We open with a shot of Jo and Brick on their usual morning run. It appears they’ve just left camp._

BRICK: So, are you gonna tell me where Amy is this morning?

JO: Let’s just say she’s a little tied up at the moment.

_Cut to a flashback from this morning. Jo snickers as she ties a sleeping Amy’s leg to Sammy’s leg. She double knots it and then heads leaves the tent. Returning to the present, the camera shows Jo chuckling at her stunt._

JO: She’s gonna kill me.

BRICK: [chuckles nervously] Well I have to admit, I enjoy the quiet. Amy is a teammate with admirable strengths, but she… well…

JO: Is obsessed with you?

BRICK: That’s one way to put it. 

JO: I was thinking it over last night, and I realized we could use that obsession to our advantage.

BRICK: How so?

JO: If you ask Amy to form an alliance with us, she’ll do it. Then the three of us can vote together in the _unlikely_ event we lose a challenge, and we can take Noah down a peg.

BRICK: Noah? You’d rather have Noah gone than Amy?

JO: [eyes narrowed] Oh, Amy’s annoying alright. But Noah has been Bossy McBossypants for the past few challenges, and if there’s one thing I hate more than kiss-up cheerleaders, it’s people who think they can tell _me_ what to do.

_Jo and Brick stop running, and Brick turns to face her. He offers her his hand, and she shakes it._

BRICK: You’ve got yourself a deal.

_Jo smirks._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Yeah, working with Jo didn’t help me much in the past. But now I’ve got Amy on my side as well, so there’s no way she can blindside me with a vote out. Right? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut back to the beach fire pit. It’s lunchtime, so everyone is busy. Leshawna hangs laundry to dry. Owen and Noah sit at the northern edge of the bonfire, chatting as they roast minnows they caught earlier. Brick and Lightning sit next to them; the seat next to Lightning is noticeably empty. On the other side of the bonfire, Jo, Amy, and Sky sit together and eat. Sammy sits in front of the girls’ hut, nervously looking at her fellow competitors._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Normally I eat with Zoey, since we were kinda friends. But since Lightning betrayed us, I have no lunch buddy. Who am I supposed to eat with _now_? Leshawna is busy, and my _sister_ is sitting next to Sky. [stomach rumbles] And my stomach is _killing_ me. I need to get out there and make some connections! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sammy stands up and takes a breath. She walks over and sits down next to Owen._

SAMMY: [nervously] Hi. Can I sit here?

_Noah and Owen look at her. Noah is indifferent, but Owen looks pleasantly surprised._

OWEN: Yeah, go for it! Do you want a fish? 

SAMMY: Yes please!

_Owen holds up his kebab, upon which five fish are skewered. He takes the smallest and places it in Sammy’s hands. She eats it immediately._

OWEN: Your name is Sammy, right?

SAMMY: [nods] And you’re Owen!

OWEN: Yeah! And this is Noah!

_He puts one arm around Noah and squeezes. Noah waves cordially to Sammy._

SAMMY: [laughs] We’ve been on this island for almost a week and I’ve barely talked to anyone on the other team.

NOAH: You aren’t missing much.

SAMMY: Hey, isn’t it weird we haven’t had a challenge yet? I mean, it’s almost the afternoon and no word from Chris.

OWEN: Maybe he had a late night last night.

_As they talk, the camera pans down and right to Amy, Sky, and Jo. Amy is watching Sammy with a vengeful expression on her face._

AMY: Ew, Samey is talking to Chubby and Shorty. Talk about a trio of _losers_!

_Sky shifts in discomfort. Jo rolls her eyes._

JO: Your nicknames suck, Lamey.

AMY: [growls] Lamey is my _sister_! I’m not lame, I’m perfect.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: I don’t know Sammy at all, but I kinda hate her because her Amy won’t shut up about her. [END CONFESSIONAL] 

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: [frowning] I regret my decision to sit with Amy today. Usually I sit with Lightning, but today I decided to give him some space. I know what Leshawna said yesterday, but I just _can’t_ get involved with Lightning. It would be a disaster! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Lightning and Brick on the other side of camp. Lightning stares at Sky while Brick talks._

BRICK: Uh, soldier? Are you okay?

LIGHTNING: Yeah, Lightning’s just confused. Usually Sky sits over here during lunch.

BRICK: [teasing] Aw, do you miss her?

LIGHTNING: [narrows eyes] What are you sha-implying?

BRICK: Nothing, nothing! 

_A helicopter appears on the horizon and flies over the beach. Jo, Brick, Owen, and Lightning cheer as a crate is dumped off the side of the helicopter. It falls for a few seconds before a parachute is deployed. The campers watch as the large crate safely lands several hundred feet from the boys’ hut._

LIGHTNING: So who’s gonna open it?

_Before anyone can do anything, the sides of the crate drop open. Inside is an assortment of instruments, including, but not limited to, banjos, guitars, a mini snare drum, as well as several microphones and a stack of tablets._

NOAH: Interesting selections.

CHRIS: [off screen] Welcome to your musical challenge!

_Everyone turns around to see the TV is on. A shirtless Chris is posing for his portrait. Everyone makes various sounds of disgust._

LESHAWNA: Put a shirt on, ya nasty!

CHRIS: I’m modeling for an _artist_. Mind your business. Anyways, I might as well explain today’s challenge. World Tour veterans will remember the challenge of singing one song per episode.

OWEN: [singing] We might just go kablooey!

_Noah elbows him, and Owen stops singing his “Before We Die” reprise._

CHRIS: Today each team will have the opportunity to compose their very own song! You will get one hour. Shouldn’t be too hard.

NOAH: What’s the twist?

CHRIS: Who said there’s a twist?

NOAH: There’s _always_ a twist.

CHRIS: Fine, there’s a twist.

AMY: Just tell us, old man!

CHRIS: [annoyed] Slow your roll, Amy. Here in the _real_ world, we’re not allowed to be within six feet of each other. It’s called ‘social distancing.’ In this challenge, you will not be allowed within fifty feet of your teammates!

JO: _Fifty_ feet? How are we supposed to make a song if we’re all standing around like that?

CHRIS: Today’s supply drop contains nine tablets. Each of you will get a tablet, and you can coordinate with your team over video chat. The final song will also be sung over video chat, to be judged by myself, Chef, and one special guest judge. You have three minutes to grab your tablet and any instruments you want before the fifty foot rule goes into effect. Any questions?

_Sammy raises her hand._

CHRIS: [annoyed] What?

SAMMY: How are you going to know if we’re closer than fifty feet?

_Chris holds up a tablet of his own. The screen shows a map of the island. Nine rooster/shrimp icons are clustered at the very bottom._

CHRIS: Oh, I’ll keep tabs on you guys. Any other questions? No? Well then… _Go_!

_The nine contestants hurry over to the crate. Leshawna distributes a stack of tablets to her team. Jo yanks an electric guitar out of Lightning’s hand._

LIGHTNING: Give that back! Lightning is _electrifying_ today!

JO: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

_Jo grabs a tablet and heads off into the forest. Brick finds a bugle, grins in delight, and walks away, tablet in hand. Meanwhile, Leshawna and the Roosters are talking._

LESHAWNA: Ya’ll, here me out: we do a cappella.

LIGHTNING: An umbrella?

_Sky stifles a laugh. Lightning looks at her eagerly, but she turns away._

LESHAWNA: No, _a capella_. Singin’ without instruments.

SAMMY: I’m okay with that. I can’t play any instruments anyways.

SKY: Same. I think I have a decent singing voice.

LESHAWNA: Perfect. Alright ladies, let’s get in formation.

_The Roosters grab microphones and head off. Meanwhile, Noah, Owen, and Amy are still at the box._

NOAH: What instrument are _you_ playing?

AMY: I don’t play an instrument. I’m just going to sing because I’m perfect like that.

NOAH: Okay, Beyonce. 

_Noah picks up a mini keyboard._

NOAH: [deadpan] I’ve found my life’s calling.

_Owen giggles. Chris coughs from the TV._

CHRIS: Thirty seconds! Everyone better be fifty feet apart, or else. [snickers]

NOAH: I’ll see you on the other side, buddy.

OWEN: No! Don’t leave me!

_Noah runs down the beach. Owen grabs a snare drum and runs in the opposite direction. Amy shrugs and powers up her tablet._

_Cut to Chris, who holds up a tablet of his own._

CHRIS: Isn’t modern technology amazing?

_The five shrimp icons on Chris’ map are in a nearly perfect pentagon; all members are fifty feet apart. However, two of the rooster icons are too close for comfort._

CHRIS: Hey, what gives?

_Cut to Lightning and Sky; Lightning is jogging after her._

LIGHTNING: Wait up, Sky! Lightning hasn’t talked to you all day!

SKY: Lightning, we have a challenge to do!

LIGHTNING: Chris ain’t gonna do anything if we’re ten feet apart.

_Cut to Chris, smiling devilishly at his tablet._

CHRIS: That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.

_He presses a button. Cut to a split screen of Sky and Lightning, Sammy, and Leshawna all getting shocked by their tablets. They scream as they’re electrocuted._

CHRIS: [from the tablet] Fifty feet apart!

_When the shock ends, Sky’s hair is all frizzed from the static. She frowns at Lightning._

SKY: I’ll talk to you later, Lightning.

_Sky hurries away, leaving Lightning scratching his head._

_Cut to the feed from the Shrimp’s video call. The screen is split into five squares. At the top, Jo holds her electric guitar. Amy is next to her, followed by Brick and his bugle in the upper right corner. In the bottom row, Noah stares deadpan at the camera. Owen is upside down._

JO: Okay, what we got? Guitar, bugle, drum, keyboard, and Popstar Princess.

AMY: [snidely] Thanks for the compliment, Jo. 

NOAH: Can anyone actually play their instrument?

BRICK: I can! 

_Brick blows into his bugle and plays “Reveille,” the same tune his alarm clock used to play. Jo and Amy cover their ears with their hands._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: I know every bugle call there is! That’s how I got so popular in my platoon. [END CONFESSIONAL]

NOAH: I’ve never played a keyboard before, but I _have_ unlocked the piano minigame on level 58 of _Doomsday Rock_.

AMY: Shut up, nerd. 

JO: Yeah, I’ve played Guitar Hero but never a real guitar.

_Jo violently strums the guitars’ chords, creating a hardcore riff. Owen claps._

OWEN: That was awesome!

JO: I know.

_Cut to the Roosters’ video chat. The screen is divided into four quadrants: Leshawna is in the upper left corner, Sky is in the upper right corner, Sammy is in the lower left corner, and Lightning is in the lower right corner._

LESHAWNA: If we’re singing a capella, we need to know what we’re working with.

SAMMY: We all need to sing?

LESHAWNA: Yep. Show me what ya got, girl.

_Sammy looks uncomfortable, so Sky raises her hand._

SKY: I’ll go first!

_Sky hums a warm up, then starts her song._

SKY: [to the tune of Old McDonald] I’m so glad Chris isn’t here, he’d just kill us all! Sammy’s nice and Leshawna’s great. Lightning’s very tall!

_Sammy and Leshawna clap. Lightning has tears in his eyes and his mouth is dropped open._

LIGHTNING: That was sha-beautiful!

LESHAWNA: You got pipes, girl. I dig it.

SKY: Thanks, Leshawna!

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: Sky really is the whole package! I think Lightning might L-I-E-K her! But that’s crazy, right? Right?! [END CONFESSIONAL]

LESHAWNA: Sammy, your turn.

SAMMY: Um, okay. Let’s see.

_Sammy coughs and begins her tune._

SAMMY: [to the tune of Row Your Boat] Amy is the worst, let’s throw her in the stream! Merrily merrily merrily merrily. Uh, that would be my dream.

_Sky, Leshawna, and Lightning clap politely._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: These girls can sing. Weird choice of lyrics, though. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the Shrimp’s video chat. Jo is strumming her guitar. Amy is five feet from the camera and doing vocal warmups._

OWEN: So I’m thinking I should add some armpit fart sounds. Wouldn’t that be a cool effect?

NOAH: Chris will love it.

_Amy runs back to the camera angrily._

AMY: We are _not_ , I repeat, _not_ having armpit sounds on my debut album!

BRICK: No no, he’s right. Chris will love it.

JO: And how would _you_ know?

BRICK: Chris is a guy!

_Chris, Brick, and Noah all chuckle. Amy’s eye twitches. Jo shrugs and goes back to strumming her guitar._

JO: Based on the instruments we have, I’m thinking we go for a pop song.

AMY: Finally, a good idea. 

JO: The song will be called ‘Amy’s Hair Fell Out’.

_Noah chuckles while Amy glowers._

AMY: Watch your mouth!

BRICK: Ladies, ladies! Let’s focus on the challenge, alright? We need to be team players if we’re gonna win this thing.

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: I know I’m the ‘never leave a man behind’ guy, but right now, I wish I was on the other team. It’s not leaving a man behind if you’re leaving behind the entire _platoon_ , right? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to a shot of Amy on the beach, standing next to the unclaimed instruments. She dances around with the microphone as she sings._

AMY: [to the tune of Condor] I’m tall, I’m blonde, I’m young, I’m pretty. I’m comin’ to win the millio- _Ack_!

_Amy trips over a banjo and falls face first into the sand._

_Cut to the Roosters’ video call. Sammy chuckles._

SKY: What’s so funny, Sammy?

SAMMY: Nothing. Just my twin sense tingling.

SKY: Riiight. So for the lyrics, we should suck up to Chris.

LESHAWNA: Suckin’ up is usually the way to go. Who doesn’t love sacrificing their integrity for a million dollars?

_Lightning beatboxes. Leshawna, Sammy, and Sky hum in different pitches, then each takes turns singing lyrics._

SAMMY: There’s a guy who’s really fetch.

SKY: We love him, and that ain’t no stretch.

LESHAWNA: Hair game always lookin’ fly.

SKY: So nice and sweet, I cannot lie.

_Lightning stops beatboxing. Everyone else stops humming._

LESHAWNA: Lightning, what gives?

LIGHTNING: Nice and sweet? Sky, you’re describing Chris, not yourself!

_Leshawna smirks. Sky burps._

SKY: Excuse me.

LESHAWNA: No worries. We can still change the lyrics, right?

SAMMY: What if it went, ‘His main goal is to make us die?’

LIGHTNING: ‘He blow dries his sha-hair.’

LESHAWNA: [deadpan] Lightning. That don’t rhyme.

LIGHTNING: Are you sha-dumb? Blowdry rhymes with fly!

_Sky snickers, and Lightning looks pleased with himself. He kisses his bicep._

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: I hate, hate, _hate_ how funny Lightning is! Chris, please switch me off this team! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the Shrimp’s screen. Brick plays a simple tune on his bugle. Jo strums some chords, and Noah plays on his keyboard. Together, their instruments go well together. Owen hits his snare drum on the off beat. Noah sighs._

NOAH: Dude, you beat the drum on the even counts, not the odd ones.

OWEN: Sorry, Noah!

BRICK: There’s a first time for everything, soldier.

AMY: Brick, what type of music do they play at your military balls?

BRICK: [blinks] Military balls?

JO: As if Captain Dorkus over here would find a date to a military ball.

AMY: You _totally_ couldn’t, Jo.

_Noah, Brick, and Owen look at each other. Brick slowly sinks off the screen so no one can see him._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: I’d rather watch Owen and Izzy make out than watch whatever the heck was going on back there.

OWEN: Hey!

NOAH: No offense to you, all offense to Izzy. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Lightning. He beat boxes into his tablet while doing squats. Suddenly, a video feed of Chris and Chef appears on the tablet screen._

LIGHTNING: Chris, wassup man?

CHRIS: Attention all competitors! Stay right where you are, it’s time for your final performance! Each team gets one chance to perform their song. No do-overs. Your performance will be judged by moi, Chef, and one returning competitor.

_A third box pops up on the screen._

TRENT: ‘Sup, dudes?

_Cut to a split screen of Owen and Leshawna._

OWEN: Trent! What’s up, man?

LESHAWNA: It’s been too long!

_Cut to feed of Chris, Chef, and Trent._

TRENT: [grinning] I get to judge a music competition, _and_ I don’t have to leave my bed? Win win.

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: [annoyed] _Ugh_ , why couldn’t Trent be in the army? He is so much hotter than Brick! [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: The first team to perform is yesterday’s losers. Cantankerous Roosters! Show me what you’ve got!

_The four Roosters fill the tablet screen._

LESHAWNA: Get ready to have your socks knocked off, McLean!

_Lightning starts the beatboxing. Leshawna, Sammy, and Sky all harmonize before they start to sing._

SAMMY: There’s a guy who’s really fetch.

SKY: We love him, and that ain’t no stretch.

LESHAWNA: Hair game always lookin’ fly.

SKY: Name a better host? Can’t even try.

SKY AND SAMMY: Chris McLean!

LESHAWNA: [harmonizing] Chris McLean!

SKY, SAMMY, AND LESHAWNA: Skin beyond compare.

SKY: Gemmy awards to spare!

SAMMY: He created Scuba Bear!

SKY AND SAMMY: Chris McLean!

LESHAWNA: [harmonizing] Chris McLean!

SKY, SAMMY, AND LESHAWNA: Richest dude around!

LESHAWNA: He continues to astound!

SKY: He makes the world go round.

SAMMY: So give it up for-

SKY, SAMMY, AND LESHAWNA: Chris McLeaaaaaaan!

LIGHTNING: Sha- _yeah_!

_Chris, who has been nodding along during the entire song, bursts into applause._

CHRIS: Bravo, bravo! The art of butt-kissing lives on!

_Chef shrugs, a frown on his face._

CHEF: Why didn’t you do a verse about me? Thumbs down.

CHRIS: Trent? What say you?

TRENT: Uh, I don’t _agree_ with the lyrics, but I understand why you did what you did. Plus, all you ladies have awesome vocals. Lightning, dude, nice beatboxing. Two thumbs up.

_Sammy and Sky both giggle. Leshawna blows him a friendly kiss. Lightning shoots double finger guns at Trent._

CHRIS: Alright, enough with the flirty giggling. Stalwart Shrimp, it’s you turn to wow us!

_The Shrimp’s video call fills the screen._

NOAH: This is a piece I like to call _Lied der Dummheit_.

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Song of Stupidity. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Brick blows into his bugle, introducing the song._

AMY: Hellooo Canada!

_Noah joins Brick by playing along on his keyboard._

AMY: [smirking] You know you love me.

_Jo adds in chords on her electric guitar. Owen hits the snare drum, and the first verse begins._

AMY: [dancing as she sings] On Fridays, I go out and party! On Saturdays, I do it again. 

But no matter what the day, I always feel some typa way. 

When I get in the mood, there’s only one thing to do…

_Owen makes a fart sound with his armpit._

AMY: [enraged] _Owen_! I said no fart sounds, you useless sack of meat!

_Chris and Chef laugh. Noah glares at Amy, but the music keeps playing._

AMY: [singing] I’ve got to D to the A to the N-C-E!

OWEN AND NOAH: [reluctant backup singers] D-A-N-C-E!

AMY: [doing cartwheels while rapping] Yeah, my moves are the best! It ain’t no contest! I dance the night away!

OWEN AND NOAH: Dance, dance, dance!

AMY: [singing] On weeknights I don’t do my homework- [spoken] my sister does.

[singing] And some days I simply skip school.

SAMMY: [offscreen] You make me go in _for_ you!

AMY: [singing] And nobody cares, ‘cause I’ve just got that flare. I’m allowed to break every ruuule!

D to the A to the N-C-E!

OWEN AND NOAH: D-A-N-C-E.

AMY: [rapping] I’m fly on the floor! Everybody wants more! I’m hotter than you’re!

OWEN AND NOAH: Dance, dance, dance!

_The song ends with a guitar riff from Jo and a bugle blast from Brick. Amy strikes a pose, hands on her hips and lips puckered._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Amy can’t even _dance_! You haven't been to our Homecoming, trust me. [END CONFESSIONAL]

TRENT: ‘Hotter than your?’

AMY: Hotter than _you are_? Jeez, Trent, know your lingo.

_Trent scratches his head at Amy’s confusing grammar. Chris shrugs._

CHRIS: Chef, your thoughts?

CHEF: Lame. Two thumbs down.

JO: Your cooking is two thumbs down!

_Chef growls. Chris grins._

CHRIS: Maybe if you insult his cooking enough, Chef’ll leave isolation and kill you. Trent, what did you think of the song?

TRENT: One thumb up. Noah’s keyboard floundered a bit in the middle, and Amy’s dancing was weird.

_A sour expression comes across Amy’s face. Before she can unleash a witty retort, Chris interrupts._

CHRIS: As for myself, I thought it was… adequate.

JO: Adequate? It took me twenty minutes to convince her out of performing a Fergalicious parody!

CHRIS: Tough. But would I rather listen to a song about a whiny blonde brat, or a song about how awesome my hair looks?

_Cut to a shot of Leshawna grinning at her tablet._

LESHAWNA: Does this mean-?

_Cut to the feed from Chris._

CHRIS: Roosters, I grant you the win today. Congratulations! Shrimp, you’re sending someone packing, potentially to die. Crazy. 

BRICK: Can I keep the bugle?

CHRIS: I guess. But you can’t keep the tablets!

BRICK: Why?

_Chris exits the video call. Cut to a shot of Brick in the forest. His tablet starts beeping and explodes in his hands. A layer of soot covers his face. The screen splits into nine sections, showing all the campers suffered the same fate._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: [scratching his chin] That was fun, even if we lost. I’ve already been accepted into the Toronto Academy of Fashion for college next year, but who knows? Maybe I’ll minor in music. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Brick runs into Amy on the beach. Amy is wiping the explosion soot off her face. Brick whispers into her ear, and a devious grin spreads across Amy’s face as she listens._

AMY: You’ve got a deal.

_Flash forward to that night’s campfire ceremony. The Shrimp sit around the bonfire. The Roosters are on the dock, watching. Lightning sits down next to Sky, who scoots away. He frowns. Meanwhile, the Shrimp cast their votes._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Amy is _so_ annoying. I’d vote her off, but she’s an extra vote in my favor. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: [salutes camera] Sorry soldier, it’s not personal. It’s just strategy. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: That’s what you _get_ for socializing with my sister! [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: I’m probably going home tonight. No surprise there. The numbers aren’t on my side.

OWEN: [tearfully] I’ll miss you, buddy! 

NOAH: I’ll miss you too. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: [on TV screen] Welcome, Shrimp, to your second campfire ceremony! I gotta say, the mounting tension on your team is making for _great_ ratings.

_Brick and Owen frown. Noah remains apathetic. Jo and Amy smirk._

CHRIS: The first person safe is… Jo.

_Jo sits down._

CHRIS: Brick!

_Brick salutes and sits._

CHRIS: Eheheh. Three people remain. Noah, you’ve been too bossy lately. Owen, your teammates didn’t appreciate your fart noises. Amy, you’re annoying.

_Noah looks nervous now, but not for himself. He glances from Owen to Amy._

NOAH: Chris, just spit it out.

CHRIS: Haha, don’t kill the mood, Noah. The last two campers safe are…

_From the docks, Leshawna crosses her fingers._

_Sammy’s and Sky’s eyes are wide._

_Noah blinks._

_Amy runs a hand through her hair._

CHRIS: Amy and Noah.

_Amy sits, but Noah’s mouth drops open._

NOAH: What? That can’t be!

OWEN: You mean… I’m out?

CHRIS: You’re gonzo, buddy. 

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Owen is Noah’s only ally. Eliminating the Blonde Dumpster means Noah can’t boss me around anymore, _and_ we can still keep his smarts around. Also, maybe this island will stink a little less. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_As Chef’s helicopter descends, Owen grabs Noah in a tight hug. The Roosters come running from the dock._

OWEN: I’ll be rooting for you, buddy!

NOAH: [gasping for breath] Thanks, dude.

SAMMY: Bye, Owen!

LESHAWNA: See ya, dude!

OWEN: Bye, guys! 

_Owen hops onto the rope ladder. The helicopter struggles for a moment before lifting off. Owen waves as he leaves. Everyone waves back except for Amy. Even Jo offers a half-hearted salute._

CHRIS: [on TV] No one leave yet!

_The remaining eight campers stare at him._

CHRIS: First, the Roosters earned a reward for their win. And that reward is… you get to choose which past Total Drama camper will come back to help with the next challenge.

LESHAWNA: What are the options?

CHRIS: Anne Maria _or_ the dynamic duo that is Katie and Sadie.

SAMMY: I don’t know any of them, so I don’t care.

LESHAWNA: Katie and Sadie, please.

CHRIS: Done! Second, it has come to my attention that _some_ people have been using the confessional to complain about their teams.

_Sky looks at the ground. Brick scratches his neck._

CHRIS: I’m a nice guy, so I’ll do a little team swap, eh? Sky, you are now on the Stalwart Shrimp. Brick, you are now on the Cantankerous Roosters.

_Sky and Brick switch places. Jo and Amy are shocked. Brick offers a fistbump to Lightning, but the latter does not respond; he’s too busy staring at Sky._

CHRIS: Enjoy your new teams! McLean, signing out!

_The TV switches off. The new teams just stare at each other for a moment._

_We cut to live feed of Chris from his mansion._

CHRIS: Owen’s gone, and the teams are shaken, not stirred! With eight teens remaining, competition is sure to heat up. How will Noah avenge his fallen friend? Can Sky ever fess up her feelings? The answers to these questions and more on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Jo- Owen  
> Brick- Owen  
> Amy- Owen  
> Owen- Amy  
> Noah- Amy
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey, Owen
> 
> IMPORTANT! I have a question for any readers who would like input on the next chapter. In-universe, the next challenge takes place two days after this one. There are two options for the next chapter: A) I skip straight to the challenge/elimination, or B) I write a filler episode that takes place on the off-day between challenge five (this chapter) and challenge six. The filler episode would have no challenge, no elimination, just eight teens hanging out on a deserted island with no supervision. Let me know what you guys prefer!


	6. Episode 6: Brick McArthur's Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris drops off a care package for the campers. Brick suggests a fun game of boys vs. girls volleyball.

_We open with a close-up off Chris’s face._

CHRIS: Last time on Total Drama Quarantine!

_Cut to a shot of a crate falling open, revealing all the musical instruments._

CHRIS: Chef dropped off some supplies for our campers. Teams had to compose a song…

_Cut to a shot of Chris’ tablet map, showing the Shrimp and Rooster icons all spread out._

CHRIS: ...sixty feet apart. Guess they wanted to avoid cooties or something, heheh.

_A montage plays of Jo playing her guitar, Noah playing his keyboard, Owen hitting the snare drum. It ends with a shot of Lightning beatboxing._

CHRIS: The Stalwart Shrimp formed a band, while the Cantankerous Roosters opted to go a capella.

_Cut to Trent flashing two thumbs up. Chef flashes two thumbs down._

CHRIS: My fellow judges and I decided the Roosters played the better song, ‘cause it was all about me! 

_The next shot shows Chris eliminating Owen. Noah’s mouth drops open in shock. Owen looks confused. Jo smirks in the background._

CHRIS: At the end of the night, Jo’s alliance eliminated Owen to throw Noah off his game. 

_Cut to Brick and Sky swapping places. Brick tries to high five Lightning._

CHRIS: Oh, and Brick and Sky switched teams. Yawn.

_Cut back to Chris’ face. The camera zooms out to reveal he is receiving a massage from a robot._

CHRIS: I’m taking a day off, and so are the kids! But just because we’re on break doesn’t mean the drama is! Find out what happens next on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_The robot slams its robot hand into Chris’ shoulder blade._

CHRIS: _Ow_!

_~Theme song plays~_

_When the scene opens, it’s still nighttime. Noah is wearing his pajamas, a long sleeved white t-shirt and boxers. He sits next to the bonfire and stokes the coals of the fire with a stick. Leshawna appears, wearing her own pajamas, and sits down next to him._

LESHAWNA: Hey, Stringbean Jr. Bummed about Owen leaving?

_Noah, not one to be open about his feelings, doesn’t answer for a moment._

LESHAWNA: I felt the same way when my team voted off Harold, and when you guys kicked Lindsay off.

NOAH: Uh huh.

LESHAWNA: Hey, I know we weren’t good friends on Wawanakwa, or on World Tour. But I’m here if you need me, ‘kay?

NOAH: I’ve never outlasted Owen. Not on Total Drama, not on any other reality show we did. We were either a team, or I got eliminated before him.

LESHAWNA: There’s a first time for everything, right?

NOAH: [sarcastically] Maybe this time, I’ll make it to the merge, too.

LESHAWNA: Go to bed, Noah. You better be rested for whatever challenge Chris throws at us tomorrow.

NOAH: Thanks, Leshawna. See ya later.

_Leshawna leaves, and Noah stares at the fire a little longer. His eyes narrow._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: [deadpan] Usually I’m not one for revenge. But for the first time ever, I actually have a motive. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The next scene is in the morning. As usual, Brick is about to leave for his morning run. He peeks out of the guys’ hut and gulps. The camera pans to the left and shows the source of his fear: Jo and Amy are walking out of the girls’ hut. Brick ducks back into the guys’ cabin before the girls notice him. Meanwhile Jo and Amy stand and wait, pointedly not talking to each other. Jo checks an imaginary wristwatch._

JO: Where the heck is Brick? Usually he’s out by now.

AMY: [groans] I’m going back to bed.

JO: Suit yourself!

_Amy goes back into the girls’ hut. Jo looks around one last time, then reluctantly follows her in a few moments later._

_The next shot is a time-lapse of the sun rising in the sky. About two hours later, everyone is up. Leshawna and Sky walk out of the girls’ hut and immediately notice the large crate that is in the middle of camp._

LESHAWNA: [yelling] Hey, everyone! Chris left a package!

_The rest of the campers exit the huts._

SKY: There’s a note! 

[reading off the note] ‘Dear campers, there’s no challenge today! While the staff and I prepare your next challenge, please enjoy this care package put together by former contestants Tyler, Geoff, Eva, and Anne Maria.'

_Lightning rips off the lid of the crate. He pulls out a volleyball and net and hands them to Sammy._

SAMMY: This must be from Tyler.

_The next item is a 24-pack of donuts. Noah grabs them from Lightning._

NOAH: [unamused] This has Geoff written all over it.

_He shows the donut box to the camera. Indeed, ‘Geoff’ has been scrawled all over the box. The shot pans to Lightning, who pulls out dumbbells. Jo shoves him out of the way and grabs the dumbbells._

JO: Heck yeah, Eva knows what’s up!

BRICK: What did Anne Maria send us?

_He reaches into the crate and pulls out a pack of nail polishes._

LIGHTNING: That is sha-worthless! 

AMY: Speak for yourself, dummy! I need a pedicure, stat!

LESHAWNA: Hold on, sister, I want in on that action.

AMY: Uhhh, yeah, maybe _after_ I’m done.

_Amy grabs the polishes and flounces back to the girls’ cabin. Everyone else stares at each other._

NOAH: I’m going to read for a bit. 

SAMMY: Can I have some donuts?

_The contestants disperse to their activities. Sky is walking to the confessional when Lighting corners her._

LIGHTNING: Sky!

SKY: Um, hey Lightning!

LIGHTNING: Why’d you switch to Jo’s team? You were ignoring Lightning all yesterday, too. Something’s up with you.

_Sky looks ill. She swallows a burp._

SKY: Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And Chris made me switch teams.

LIGHTNING: Yeah, but Chris _also_ said you’d been complaining about your team in the confessional. [scratches head] Did I do something?

SKY: What? No! You’ve been great, I promise.

LIGHTNING: Come on, Sky. What happened? Lightning isn’t sha-stupid. 

SKY: Lightning, please stop.

LIGHTNING: What did Lightning _do_?

SKY: Stop prying, okay?

LIGHTNING: [exhales heavily] Okay. Lightning’ll stop.

_Sky looks surprised that he agreed._

SKY: Really?

LIGHTNING: Yeah. If you really _really_ don’t wanna talk about it, Lightning will let it go.

SKY: [relieved] Thank you.

LIGHTNING: I’m going on a sha-run. See ya later, Sky.

_As Lightning jogs up, Jo appears out of nowhere. She elbows Sky._

JO: Jockstrap giving you trouble?

SKY: No, not really. I kinda deserved it. How do you and Brick do it?

JO: _Excuse me_?

SKY: You know, like each other and still be fierce competitors. 

_She reads the shocked look on Jo’s face and backpedals._

SKY: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t-

JO: Get your eyes checked, Jockette. Brick and I aren’t even friends. We’re rivals at best, enemies at worst! I’m gonna crush him!

SKY: Right. Sorry.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: I was gonna ask Sky if she wanted to work out with me. Foster some team spirit, maybe get her to team up with me and vote Amy off… now that I know Sky is _delusional_ , I’m keeping my distance. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the firepit circle. Noah is reading on his e-reader, and Leshawna sits down next to him, fuming._

LESHAWNA: Noah, do me a favor and boot Amy first chance you get.

NOAH: [without looking up] With pleasure.

_Leshawna keeps talking, despite Noah’s blatant lack of interest._

LESHAWNA: I went in to borrow some of that nail polish. She told me to get lost! Can you _believe_ that?

NOAH: [reading] Yes. 

LESHAWNA: I’m gonna wring her little neck.

NOAH: New Heather?

LESHAWNA: New Heather.

_Sammy sits down next to them, chewing a donut._

SAMMY: Are we trash talking my sister?

LESHAWNA: You know it, girl.

_She offers a fistbump to Sammy, who happily accepts it._

_Flash forward to Brick. He sits by the crate, attempting to untangle the volleyball net._

JO: [offscreen] Soldier!

_Brick stands instinctively._

BRICK: [salutes] Ma’am!

_He trips and falls even further into the volleyball net. Jo stands over him, thoroughly amused._

JO: Whatcha doin’ there, Lieutenant Netface?

BRICK: [struggling in net] Ha ha. I’m setting up a friendly game of volleyball to boost camaraderie.

JO: I will be happy to crush you in volleyball as soon as you get out of that net. Need help?

BRICK: Thank you for your _concern_ , but I think I’m good.

_Flash forward to a few minutes later. Jo sits on the crate, lifting dumbbells, while Brick is still stuck in the net._

JO: You know, with all the junk McLean sends us, we could probably build an improved shelter out of the wood from the crates.

BRICK: Astute observation, Jo.

JO: [sets down dumbbell] Still don’t need help?

BRICK: [sheepishly] Maybe a little bit, ma’am.

_With a few sharp twists, Jo has freed Brick from the volleyball net._

BRICK: Thank you for your assistance.

JO: You’re an idiot, Jarhead.

BRICK: Gather the troops! We’re having a volleyball game!

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Jo helped me for no personal gain on her end? What is the world coming to? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Flash forward. The volleyball net has been set up in the shallows so that the teens can play in the water. Everyone is in their swimsuits. Sky’s is a blue one-piece from her days on the swim team; the twins wear matching red tankinis. Leshawan and Jo talk to Brick and Lightning on the other side of the net._

JO: Boys versus girls. Sound good?

LIGHTNING: Not fair! You guys have Sky, and like six other players!

JO: [smirking] Afraid you might lose? 

BRICK: No, ma’am! We are prepared to dominate this court!

NOAH: [off screen] I’m not.

_The other four look at him. He stands to the side, reading on the e-reader._

NOAH: I suck at sports.

LESHAWNA: Don’t you _start_ this crap again.

NOAH: This time it isn’t a challenge, so I can sit out without consequence.

BRICK: No sir! I refuse to leave a man behind. You’re playing with us, and that’s final!

_Too apathetic to argue, Noah sighs heavily, puts the reader down, and wades into the water. Jo laughs._

JO: First time anyone’s ever listened to you! Must feel good, eh?

BRICK: Care to sweeten _my_ imminent victory with a personal bet?

JO: What’s on your mind?

BRICK: Winner gets the loser’s allotted donuts.

JO: You’re on, buddy.

_Sky, who watches the exchange from a distance, stares into the camera._

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: Can you see why I thought they were a thing? They’re constantly bickering flirtatiously! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The teams get into position. The three boys are on the left side, and the five girls are on the right. Lightning holds the ball and grins confidently._

LIGHTNING: Lightning’s gut is telling him that Team Dude is gonna win, and the gut doesn't lie! Sha- _bam_!

_Lightning serves the ball over the net. Sky hits it back and it slams into Noah, knocking him into the water._

BRICK: Man down!

_While Brick helps Noah up, Jo and Amy cackle gleefully. Brick glares at them, and Jo shrugs unapologetically._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: I can’t decide who I should vote off first. Between Amy and Jo, either could go and I’d be ecstatic. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_As the game continues, both teams score points. Lightning and Brick are skilled athletes who hold their own against the girls. At one point, the volleyball comes flying towards Sammy, and she misses it._

JO: Get your head in the game, Blondie!

_Jo tosses the ball back to the guys._

AMY: Wow, Samey, you really are useless, aren’t you?

SAMMY: I’ve hit the ball more than you have, Amy!

AMY: Um, are you _blind_? I am totally carrying this team. 

LESHAWNA: Shut your mouth, Amy. I can’t listen to the garbage you spew on the daily. 

SKY: We’re just trying to play a nice game.

AMY: Classic Samey, always having others fight your battles!

_Sammy’s eyes are closed and she’s counting to ten, trying to calm herself._

AMY: Your breathing technique is stup-OW!

_The volleyball hits Amy square in the face and she falls into the water. The camera pans to the guys’ team. Noah smiles smugly at his one successful serve. Lightning picks him up._

LIGHTNING: Point for team dude!

NOAH: Boo yah.

_The game continues for several more rounds. Now it’s Jo’s turn to serve the ball._

LESHAWNA: What’s the score?

JO: Twenty three to twenty four, boys leading. If we score, we tie it.

BRICK: [off screen] And if you don’t, guys win!

_Jo glares at him and serves the ball in Noah’s direction. Brick intercepts it and hits it back._

LESHAWNA: Sky, get over here!

_She lifts Sky onto her back piggy-back style. Now with a height advantage, Sky volleys the ball back to the boys. Lightning spikes it across the net, but Sammy dives and saves it from hitting the water. The ball is still in play, and Jo tosses it over the net._

JO: Nice one, Sammy!

SAMMY: T-thanks!

LIGHTNING: Brick, sha-set me up!

BRICK: Roger that, captain!

_Brick lightly hits the volleyball in the air. Lightning jumps up and hits it across. Amy volleys back._

AMY: Just _lose_ already, jeez!

_Brick hits it back. Jo hits it back. Lightning hits it back while Noah ducks. Sky hits it back. Brick sets up Lightning, who tosses it over. Leshawna takes a few steps back so Sky can hit the ball when suddenly-_

SAMMY: Leshawna, look out!

_Leshawna trips over Amy, who had been standing behind her. She and Sky fall into the water, as does the volleyball. Lightning runs to the net._

LIGHTNING: Sky, are you okay?

SKY: Yeah, I’m fine. 

_A relieved grin breaks over Lightning’s face._

LIGHTNING: Well in that case… you just got struck by _Lightning_! Sha-boo yah! 

NOAH: [sarcastically] Woopee.

_Brick ducks under the net to congratulate the girls._

BRICK: Good game. You were all worthy opponents.

_He shakes hands with Sammy, Leshawna, Sky, and Amy, who bats her eyelashes at him. When Brick gets to Jo, she rolls her eyes and begrudgingly accepts his handshake._

JO: You played well, Brick-for-brains.

BRICK: [grinning] I always play well when donuts are on the line, ma'am.

_Flash forward to dinner. Everyone is eating either foraged berries, fish caught by Leshawna and Brick, or Geoff’s donuts. Noah sits at the top of the bonfire circle. Clockwise, the seating arrangement is Leshawna, Sky, Sammy, Amy, Brick, Jo, and Lightning, who sits on Noah’s right, completing the circle._

_Leshawna eyes Lightning before turning to Sky, who is eating a fish kebab._

LESHAWNA: So. You’ve decided not to do the ‘lovers-to-alliance’ team up?

SKY: Nope. I think I'll just stay away from alliances and romance in general. 

LESHAWNA: Girl, we’re in the middle of a pandemic according to McLean. I don't know how reliable Chris is, but it sounds serious. If you don’t tell him you’re into him now, who knows when you’re going to see him again?

_Sky eats her fish thoughtfully. The camera pans across the firepit to Jo, Brick, and Amy. Jo watches Brick eat the donuts he won from her._

BRICK: Would you like one, Jo?

JO: Nah. You won fair and square. I’m not a sore loser.

AMY: _I’ll_ take one, Brick.

_Amy reaches over and pops the donut into her mouth. Brick frowns; Jo rolls her eyes._

JO: Taking the dude’s donuts aren’t going to get you into the army any faster.

AMY: Huh? Do you think I want to join the army?

JO: Why else would you be hanging around Brick?

[CONFESSIONAL] _Amy laughs hysterically._ [END CONFESSIONAL]

AMY: Um, not that reason. Ew, imagine being in the army.

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: If I ever got drafted, I’d send Samey in my place. Good luck on the front lines! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Pan up to Lightning, Noah, and Leshawna._

LIGHTNING: Hey dude, you did pretty well on the court.

NOAH: No I didn’t.

LIGHTNING: The one time you _did_ hit the ball, you did pretty well.

NOAH: That’s more accurate.

LESHAWNA: Back to yourself, Noah?

NOAH: More or less.

_He holds up his fish kebab._

NOAH: Owen would have eaten this by now.

LIGHTNING: I’ll eat it for ya!

_Noah takes a bite of his kebab before Lightning can swipe it._

_Flash forward to later in the evening. In the girls’ hut, everyone has changed into their pajamas. Sky wears a blue t-shirt and sweatpants, Jo wears a grey t-shirt and boxers, and Sammy wears a blue tank top and salmon track shorts. Amy is noticeably absent; she’s still in the confessional/bathroom. On the right side of the hut, Jo is drinking from a water bottle. On the other side, Leshawna, Sammy, and Sky sit in a circle and break out the nail polish. Jo looks over at them._

JO: [mildly confused] What are you guys doing?

SAMMY: We’re giving each other manicures. Wanna join?

_Before Jo can reply, Amy barges in wearing her pink velvet pajama set. Everyone stops smiling._

AMY: [snidely] What are _you_ guys doing?

JO: Hey! Amy! Guess what! Brick came by and told me he has something to tell you. He wants you to meet him at the dining hall pronto!

AMY: [annoyed] Are you kidding me?

_Sky catches on and adds to the ruse._

SKY: It’s true, Amy. I heard Jo and Brick talking about it.

_Amy grins._

AMY: Fricking _finally_! Don’t wait up for me, girls, I might be a while.

_Amy walks out. A few beats pass as all the girls stare at each other. Suddenly Sammy bursts out laughing._

SAMMY: Wow, she _really_ ate that up! Thanks, Jo.

LESHAWNA: Amy would’ve tossed the polish into the ocean out of spite.

JO: Yeah, well, I don’t like her any more than you guys do.

LESHAWNA: So? You gonna join us for some mani pedis?

JO: Pass. I’m not a girly girl like you guys.

_Sky frowns._

SKY: You can be a fierce competitor _and_ have your nails done, you know.

JO: [disbelievingly] Sure, sure.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: What, am I not a fierce competitor? I’m so fierce, I’m repressing all my feelings so I can win a million dollars! … um, that came out wrong. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Leshawna uncaps a bottle of black nail polish. That grabs Jo’s attention._

JO: You guys have black?

SAMMY: Anne Maria included pretty much every color.

JO: Black is intimidating. It's cool, it's hardcore. Maybe I _will_ join you.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: If Lightning can wear earrings every day and Brick can go to fashion school, I can paint my nails once. Mind your business. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Leshawna paints Jo’s nails black. Sky paints her own neon blue. Sammy opts for a royal purple color._

SKY: Purple? I thought you always go for red.

SAMMY: That’s more Amy’s color.

JO: Then why do _you_ wear it?

SAMMY: [uncertainly] We’re both on the cheer squad, so it just makes sense, I guess.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Sammy is pretty much the female version of Cameron. They’re both doormats, but at least Sammy is an athletic doormat. [END CONFESSIONAL]

SKY: Well purple looks good on you, Sammy.

_Sammy smiles shyly at Sky._

SAMMY: Thanks.

_When Leshawna finishes Jo’s nails, she lets Sammy paint her nails hot pink. Meanwhile, Jo looks around._

SKY: What are you looking for?

JO: Ugh, Lightning must’ve taken those dumbbells. What a dummy.

SKY: You could go over and ask for them back.

JO: Great idea, Jockette! Why don’t you come with me?

SKY: I guess.

_Jo grabs her water bottle and the girls leave the hut._

JO: Before we go in, we should listen for a bit. Maybe the guys are strategizing.

SKY: Strategizing? On an off day?

JO: Well yeah, what do you think _I’ve_ been doing all day?

_When they reach the front of the guys’ hut, Jo shushes Sky. They peek inside._

_Brick and Lightning are on the left side of the hut, while Noah sits on the right._

NOAH: I’m just saying, I don’t expect Amy to make it to the merge.

BRICK: She’s definitely not a team player, always going after her sister like that.

_Jo looks at Sky._

JO: [whispering] See? Strategizing.

_Sky rolls her eyes. Jo drinks from her water bottle._

NOAH: But she’s definitely into you, Brick.

BRICK: _Really_?

NOAH: Please don’t tell me you're that obtuse.

LIGHTNING: You gonna make a sha-move, dude?

BRICK: I _do_ have a thing for blondes, but-

_Jo comically spits out her water, spraying Sky in the process. Soaking wet, Sky is unamused. All the guys turn to the noise._

BRICK: Jo?

LIGHTNING: Sky?

NOAH: Peeping Janes. How lovely to see you.

JO: We just swung by to take the dumbbells that Brightning stole from me.

LIGHTNING: [indignantly] I did not sha-steal them! They belong to everyone!

NOAH: Thank you, Marx, for your insightful commentary.

_Lightning hands over the dumbbells to Jo and Sky._

BRICK: Did you paint your nails, Jo?

JO: Leshawna did. Got a problem with that?

BRICK: No, they look cool. Can she do mine next?

JO: Probably. Oh by the way, I told Amy that you had something _very_ important to tell her.

SKY: She’s probably waiting at the mess hall right now. 

BRICK: [slightly terrified] Why would you _do_ that?

JO: ‘Cause she’s annoying and no one wanted to share the hut with her.

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: If Amy kills Jo, or vice versa, that's one less person to take down. I don't have a problem with it. [END CONFESSIONAL]

JO: Sleep tight, and get ready to be _destroyed_ tomorrow!

SKY: Goodnight, no threats necessary!

_The girls leave the hut._

_Cut to Amy, who stands in the dark on the steps of the mess hall. She pulls out a compact mirror and reapplies some lip gloss._

AMY: Ugh, where _is_ he? Jo didn’t set me up, did she?

_The sounds of saws and hammers startle Amy, and she jumps into the air._

AMY: [scared] Who’s there? Brick? [annoyed] Is this some elaborate proposal?

_Two shadowy figures appear behind Amy. She doesn’t notice until one taps her on the shoulder. Amy turns around._

AMY: What the-

_The image freezes, and a large ‘pause’ button appears over Amy’s face. The camera pans out to reveal Chris watching the camera footage on his personal TV. He wears a luxurious bathrobe and sits in a cozy reclining chair, sipping tea._

CHRIS: Well I had a fun day today, and it appears the contestants did as well.

_He puts his teacup down and smiles at the camera._

CHRIS: What sort of devious challenges was I cooking up on the off day? Will Brick ever get his nails painted? And _what_ could have happened to Amy? Look forward to answers, drama, and more on the next episode of Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what irks me? The Pahkitew Island cast doesn't have canon swimsuit designs.  
> Hope you enjoyed this 'filler' chapter. This wasn't planned from the start, but reflecting on it, I think it was needed.


	7. Episode 7: Canada's Next Top Model

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the interest of being honest, Sky comes clean about her feelings. During a fashion challenge hosted by Katie and Sadie, Brick realizes Stuff™, and Sammy asserts her individuality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been planning out the outfits in this episode for a while. I hope you enjoy! :)

_We open with a shot of Chris playing indoor golf._

CHRIS: On the last episode of Total Drama Quarantine...

_Sky reads the note and Lightning opens the crate, holding up the volleyball._

CHRIS: I decided to be _charitable_ and give some goodies to our castaways.

_Brick trips into the net while Jo watches with amusement._

CHRIS: After some technical difficulties…

_Cut to a montage of volleys. Leshawna and Sky trip over Amy._

CHRIS: Brick’s boys vs. girls volleyball game ended with victory for the men.

_The girls paint their fingernails. Outside the mess hall, Amy fixes her lip gloss in her compact mirror._

CHRIS: The girls spent some quality time together, except for Amy, who was last seen in the woods, waiting for a suitor who never showed.

_The camera returns to Chris. He hits the golf ball with his club, and it shatters a window._

CHRIS: The remaining eight campers definitely won’t like what I have in store for them today. Get ready for the drama, the cat fights, and the romance! Find it all right here, right now, on Total Drama Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_The first shot is of Sammy, Brick, and Leshawna at the bonfire circle. Sammy eats berries for breakfast. Brick holds up his hands, revealing the army green nail polish on his fingernails._

BRICK: Excellent work, Leshawna! You could be a nail tech!

LESHAWNA: Heh, thanks.

_Jo comes out of the girls’ hut and sits down next to Leshawna._

JO: Hey, did Amy ever come home last night?

LESHAWNA: Don’t think so. 

SAMMY: You don’t think she’s hurt, do you?

JO: What do _you_ care? She hates your guts.

SAMMY: Just because she’s the worst person ever _and_ the source of all my social anxieties, that doesn’t mean I want her to die!

BRICK: Do you think we should look for her? We can’t leave a man behind, even if it _is_ Amy.

LESHAWNA: Ya’ll are reading way too much into this. I guarantee Amy bein’ missing is part of today’s challenge.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: After three seasons, you learn _all_ of Chris’ tricks. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to a shot of Sky outside of the boys’ hut._

SKY: Lightning? Are you in there?

_Lightning pops his head out._

LIGHTNING: Sky! What’s up, girl? Finally gonna stop ignoring me?

SKY: Um, something like that. Can I talk to you real quick?

LIGHTNING: Sha-shure.

_Lightning follows Sky into the woods, where they can’t be overheard by other campers._

SKY: I feel I owe you an explanation. From the first time we met on the plane, you’ve been fun to talk to and hang out with. 

LIGHTNING: [cockily] You don’t need to tell Lightning that. But you’ve been just as great! You’re the only girl here who gets sports the way Lightning does. Except Jo, but she’s sha-rude.

SKY: [smiles shyly] Thanks, Lightning.

_The smile drops off her face._

SKY: The reason I started ignoring you, _and_ the reason I switched teams is that… I like you.

LIGHTNING: _Really_?

SKY: Yes, but don’t let it go to your head. Last season, I got screwed over by the guy I liked. I don’t know how you feel about me, but I’ve decided to be upfront and honest. I am not mixing romance with competition.

_Before Lightning can respond, Noah walks into the clearing._

NOAH: Hey, Romeo and Juliet. The TV’s on. Chris is announcing the next challenge.

_Lightning and Sky awkwardly look at each other, then walk back to the beach. Noah follows them._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Last time I third wheeled like that, it was with Owen and Izzy. [chuckles] What a disaster. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: Did I do the right thing? What if he doesn't even like me, and now it's just weird? What if he holds this over my head? Ugh, Lightning wouldn't do that, would he? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The contestants sans Amy stand around the TV. Chris smiles cheerfully at the group._

CHRIS: Good morning, kids. Who’s ready for today’s challenge?

BRICK: I am, sir! 

_Brick salutes._

CHRIS: Glad to know _someone_ cares. Anyways, before I explain your challenge, I have an announcement: it’s merge day!

_Everybody gasps._

SKY: What was the point of swapping Brick and me if we were just getting merged immediately after?

CHRIS: I like to sprinkle a little misdirection in this show from time to time. Plus, the fallout between you and Lightning was _hilarious_.

LESHAWNA: Alright, alright. Every gal for herself. Now let’s get on with it.

CHRIS: [sighs] _Fine_. While you were enjoying your volleyball yesterday, I sent in a team of interns to build the setting for your next challenge. Head over to the mess hall, where the challenge will be explained in detail. Peace!

_Chris disappears, and the seven contestants walk into the woods. Noah, Sammy, and Leshawna cluster together, Jo and Brick walk next to each other, and Lightning and Sky are at the back._

LIGHTNING: So… we can still be friends, right?

SKY: Yeah. Friends.

LIGHTNING: Cool. What are your thoughts on croquet?

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: Does Lightning like Sky? Yeah! But he isn’t gonna tell her that right after she swore off dating! The friend zone comes right before the endzone! [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: Lightning being so cool about this makes me like him more… Total Drama does awful things to one’s mind. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Jo and Brick._

JO: So here is what I‘m thinking: tonight, we vote off Noah.

BRICK: You’d rather have Amy stay than Noah?

JO: Now that the teams are dissolved, Noah's nerdiness is useless to me. Plus, if you and I keep voting as a trio with Amy, we’ll get farther.

BRICK: I’m not sure how much longer I can stand having her around. Her clinginess is unsettling.

JO: You’re only saying that because last night Noah pointed out she’s into you.

BRICK: Well, yeah. That totally changes the dynamic!

JO: Whatever. Just keep her close, got it? 

_The group makes it to the mess hall. They walk to the other side and gasp. A long catwalk has been built seemingly overnight. At the beginning of the catwalk hangs a TV screen. Chris appears._

CHRIS: Welcome to the newest addition to the island: the catwalk! Took you guys long enough to get here!

NOAH: I’m assuming we’re in for a fashion challenge?

CHRIS: Indeed! Since the pandemic has canceled movie premieres all over the globe, nobody’s been walking the red carpets. People are desperately craving high fashion, and you’re going to give it to them! In today’s challenge, you must style yourself in an outfit worthy of a Gemmy awards ceremony! 

LESHAWNA: Oh yeah, I’ve got this in the _bag_. 

CHRIS: As much as I _love_ critiquing you fashion-challenged freaks, today’s judges will be classic competitors and best friends, Katie and Sadie!

_A blanket of fog rolls over the catwalk, and three silhouettes walk towards the campers. When the fog disperses, it reveals Katie and Sadie grinning and striking poses. Sadie holds the hand of a very disgruntled Amy._

KATIE: Hello, Total Drama competitors!

_Katie and Sadie are wearing identical cornflower blue dresses with sweetheart necklines. Their floor length skirts are composed of layers of gauzy, sparkly fabric._

SADIE: Oh em gee, we met Amy last night, and isn’t she the best?

SAMMY: Not really, no.

_Sadie finally lets go of Amy’s hand. The cheerleader growls and stalks over to stand next to Brick._

KATIE: Is this the part where I say my lines?

SADIE: Oh yeah, totally. Go for it!

KATIE: Okay! Everyone has three hours to come up with your fabulous red carpet design. Sadie and I took the, um, what was the next part?

SADIE: Liberty!

KATIE: We took the liberty of stocking the back rooms with any supplies and garments you need! Tuxes, dresses, skirts, makeup, scissors, iron-on patches, even toilet paper! We have it all!

NOAH: Why toilet paper?

SADIE: [cheerfully] Chris is responsible for Canada’s nationwide toilet paper shortage.

CHRIS: [coughs] Aren’t you forgetting something, most esteemed judges?

KATIE: Oh yeah!

_Katie pulls a black top hat from the frills of her dress._

KATIE: Everyone has to draw to find the order in which you’ll walk the catwalk.

SADIE: Good luck!

_Katie passes the hat to Lightning. He takes a folded paper slip and passes the hat to Sky, who does the same. The hat goes down the line— Amy, Brick, Jo, Leshawna, Sammy, Noah—until everyone has picked a slip of paper. They all open the slips simultaneously._

BRICK: Well, looks like I’m going first.

LIGHTNING: Switch with me, dude! Lightning is gonna be number one, not number two!

CHRIS: No tradesies! Before I unleash you guys, I will warn you. The winner of part one gets an advantage in part two. 

LESHAWNA: What’s part two?

CHRIS: Undisclosed.

_Chris disappears, and in his place, the TV displays a three hour timer. Everyone heads backstage to start working._

_Sky rummages through a chest of costumes. She pulls out a Native American headdress and glares at it._

SKY: Are you kidding me? Why does Chris have this? It’s so insensitive.

LESHAWNA: Chris has never been one for sensitivity.

SKY: I’m burning this. 

_Sky passes by Brick and Lightning, who are looking through a rack of tuxedos. Brick pulls two tuxedos apart, revealing Amy on the other side. He screams._

AMY: Hey Brick! So, where were you last night? I waited forever until Loser One and Loser Two made me bunk with them.

BRICK: Funny thing, um.

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: If I throw Jo under the bus, she’ll probably kill me. But I don’t want to be dishonorable and lie to her. [END CONFESSIONAL]

BRICK: Certain… people… may have misled you. I was asleep.

_Amy groans._

AMY: Ugh, typical! Samey definitely put Jo and Sky up to it.

_Brick and Lightning exchange a glance._

BRICK: I couldn’t be sure.

_Amy walks around the tuxedo rack so she’s standing next to Brick._

AMY: Well now that that’s settled, which do you like better?

_She pulls out two dresses. One is slinky and gold, the other is floorlength, voluminous, and red._

BRICK: Red one, definitely. Brings out your eyes.

AMY: Thank you! See you later.

_She smiles as she walks away._

_Meanwhile, Leshawna is sorting through a box of shoes. Jo watches her, arms folded. As Leshawna throws away a pair of boots, she glances at Jo._

LESHAWNA: You gonna compete or what?

JO: No way am I getting into some stupid dress. I don’t need a reward to win part two, whatever that is.

LESHAWNA: Okay, first off, no one said you had to wear a dress. Go get a tux if you’re so pressed. And second, thanks for makin’ the first challenge a whole lot easier for the rest of us.

_Jo considers her words._

JO: Hey, you talk some sense.

LESHAWNA: [smirking] I always do.

_She tosses away a pair of strappy black heels. They hit Noah in the head._

NOAH: Ouch! 

LESHAWNA: Sorry, man.

_Noah grumbles. He’s carrying heavy gray garments._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Literally anything goes on the red carpet nowadays. Forget fashion, I’m cosplaying one of my favorite video game characters. It’s avant-garde. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sammy wears a pink dress with bell sleeves. She admires herself in a mirror before Amy shoves her aside to look at her red ballgown._

AMY: Pink _so_ isn’t your color, Samey. Well, no color is, really.

SAMMY: Hey! You ripped the sleeve!

AMY: Did I? Oops.

SAMMY: Why do you act like such a shmuck? No one here likes you, and you’re certainly not any prettier than I am. And back home, people only follow you around out of fear. Everything about you is _fake._

AMY: As if I care what you think! Get lost.

_Sammy storms off to change out of her torn dress. Still annoyed, Amy smooths out her dress and goes over to the makeup table to get ready._

_Lightning has abandoned his search for a tux and instead is trying on sunglasses. In his place is Jo, who picks out several tuxes from the rack._

BRICK: Opting for the tux out? Wise choice.

JO: Wow, thanks for the tip, Fashion Police. 

_She heads to the changing room noticeably less annoyed. Brick pulls out a green tuxedo. He grins delightedly._

BRICK: I can work with this!

_Sky and Sammy sit at the makeup table, both wearing their runway outfits. Sky applies blue eyeliner. As Sammy puts on red lipstick, her eyes fall on scissors and a bucket of hair dye. Her eyes go wide, and she drops the lipstick._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Zoey, I dedicate this next part to you. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the outside of the catwalk. The three-hour timer beeps, indicating time is up. Chris reappears on the screen._

CHRIS: Models, it’s time to make your debuts! Once you’re finished with your walk, you can sit behind Katie and Sadie. 

KATIE: Let’s get this show started!

_Sadie presses a button on a boombox, and music begins to play. Brick walks out first, wearing the green suit he had found. However, the tuxedo is now patterned with green roses._

SADIE: Absolutely gorgeous! Definitely out of the box thinking!

BRICK: I ironed on these flower decals myself. 

KATIE: Well I _love_ your creativity, Brick. I rate this look really, really good!

_Brick salutes._

BRICK: It’s been a privilege, ma’am!

_Brick hops off the catwalk and takes a seat in one of the eight chairs behind Katie and Sadie._

_Lightning is next. He struts out on the catwalk, eyes hidden behind gold sunglasses. He wears a gold-trimmed robe and five gold rings on each hand. When he gets to the end of the catwalk, he strikes a pose._

LIGHTNING: _Sha-bling_!

KATIE: Well this certainly is an interesting look.

SADIE: [nodding] Oh, I agree. All the gold? Looks incredible.

KATIE: But does he overdo it? I rate this look pretty good.

CHRIS: [offscreen] Next!

_Leshawna struts her stuff in a one shoulder pink dress and matching pink heels. At the end of the walk, she blows Katie and Sadie a kiss. They giggle._

KATIE: Aw, Leshawna, you look incredible!

SADIE: Totally diva-licious.

LESHAWNA: I’m here all week, folks.

_She gets off the catwalk and sits beside Lightning. On the TV screen, Chris frowns._

CHRIS: Try to be a _little_ less positive, ‘kay girls? This is Total _Drama_. Next!

_An expressionless Noah walks out. He looks straight out of an RPG game and sports a wool hood, leather gauntlets, and knee high boots._

SADIE: Who are you supposed to be?

NOAH: Your mom.

_Lightning laughs. Sadie and Katie frown._

KATIE: Props for creativity, Noah. 

SADIE: Jo’s next!

_Jo walks out in a plain black tux. Her hair is slicked back and the smirk on her face as she walks makes her look like a secret agent. In the audience, Brick’s mouth drops._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: I got into fashion design because the clothes you wear reflect 

BRICK: [whispering to Lightning] ...I like Jo.

LIGHTNING: [whispering to Brick] You are so sha-screwed, dude.

KATIE: Wow, you look straight out of a James Blonde movie!

SADIE: Work it, girl!

_Jo smirks and sits down behind Brick. She leans forward and whispers in his ear._

JO: I totally wore _my_ tux better.

_Brick turns red and doesn’t reply._

_Sky comes out next. She wears a slender blue dress with a gold neckline and gold trim down the side._

LIGHTNING: [whispering to Brick] Lightning likes Sky.

BRICK: [whispering to Lightning] We’re total idiots.

_Sky reaches the end of the runway and smiles at Katie and Sadie._

KATIE: I _love_ this look! Definitely gives me Cleopatra vibes.

SADIE: You’re killing it, girl!

SKY: Thank you.

_Sky sits next to Jo. Without waiting for an introduction, Amy flounces down the runway in her red ballgown. Her hair is done up in a bun. She smiles politely at Katie and Sadie._

SADIE: You look like royalty!

KATIE: I love that dress!

AMY: Thanks! I’m wearing one just like it to formal in May. That is, if I get asked.

_She glares at Brick. He shrinks in his seat while Jo and Lightning snicker._

CHRIS: Do you _really_ think you’re having a school formal in the middle of a pandemic?

AMY: [bewildered] What?

CHRIS: Literally every social event ever has been cancelled. Try again next year, sweetheart. Next!

_Amy sits down angrily beside Sky. The camera stays on the audience as Sammy walks out. Leshawna, Brick, Lightning, and Sky gasp. Noah and Jo remain apathetic, and Amy looks downright annoyed._

AMY: Ew, gag much?

SKY: Sammy looks awesome!

_The camera finally cuts to a bottom-up shot of Sammy, who rubs her arm nervously as she walks. She wears dark purple boots, a matching pleated skirt and top, and a tawny cardigan. The most noticeable change is her hair, which is now cut several inches shorter and dyed purple._

SADIE: Aw, I love your style: casual yet rebellious!

SAMMY: [smiles nervously] Thanks.

KATIE: We’ll take a few points off because the presentation is lacking, but go Sammy! You rock!

_Sammy smiles genuinely and sits down next to Amy. Amy growls, but Sky reaches over and offers Sammy a high five._

_Meanwhile, Katie and Sadie are whispering to each other. On the TV screen, Chris rolls his eyes._

CHRIS: Any time now, ladies. I have a bubble bath I’d like to run.

_Katie and Sadie stand up and face the competitors._

KATIE: Okay, we’ve _totally_ decided who won!

SADIE: And we’re not biased at all, we swear!

NOAH: Just tell us, already.

KATIE AND SADIE: Leshawna!

_Leshawna stands up and poses. Sky and Sammy clap; Brick salutes._

LESHAWNA: Thank you, dolls!

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: What color’s my dress? Pink. What color are Katie and Sadie _obsessed_ with? [smirks] Exactly. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: Congratulations, Leshawna! Before we reveal your reward, Katie and Sadie will explain part two of the challenge.

_Cut to the cast standing in the woods, looking up at a rope course in the trees. Katie squeals in excitement._

KATIE: _Eeee_! Welcome to part two! Chris installed this obstacle course yesterday!

_As Sadie describes the course, the camera pans to each part of the course._

SADIE: First, you have to climb the stairs and jump to the first platform. From there, you’ll zip-line to the next platform. Be careful not to fall into the mud below!

 _Leshawna makes a face_.

KATIE: When you reach the second platform, your next challenge is to climb a rock wall to the third platform.

_Lightning flexes his muscles._

SADIE: The third platform is right next to a really big oak tree. Use the provided rope to climb to the top of the tree. From there, you take a second zip-line to the finish line!

KATIE: Leshawna, your reward is that you can run the course twice, and your lowest time will be counted!

JO: I have a question? Can we go back and change now!

_Katie and Sadie giggle._

SADIE: Ohmigosh, Jo, the whole point is that you have to run this course in formal clothing!

_Jo glowers at them, and Katie and Sadie scream._

KATIE: Whoever has the fastest time gets immunity from the vote tonight!

SADIE: _Go_!

_All the contestants look at each other._

LIGHTNING: Lightning will go first! Sha- _yeah_!

_Lightning starts climbing the stairs, which are very steep. He trips halfway through and falls down. Jo laughs._

SKY: Keep going, Lightning, you can do it!

_Lightning makes it up the stairs. He barely makes the jump to the first platform, but he has no trouble with the zip-line. When he gets to the climbing wall, Lightning screams._

BRICK: What’s wrong, soldier?

LIGHTNING: Fire ants!

_The camera shows a close up of fire ants crawling on Lightning’s hands. He scratches himself as he climbs the rock wall. Lightning scrambles up the oak tree and down the final zip-line. Finally, he crash lands on the mat at the bottom of the course._

KATIE: [clapping] Even with the stair fiasco, Lightning’s time is twenty four seconds! 

_His time flashes on the bottom right of the screen._

JO: I’m next! 

_Jo gets through the course with ease. When she lands on the mat, ‘twenty seconds’ flashes on the board. A few seconds later, Brick barrels into her, and they both fall onto the mat. His time was twenty three seconds. He starts scratching at himself._

BRICK: The ants, the ants!

JO: Shut up.

_Noah doesn’t try at all, falls off the tree rope twice, and earns himself a time of fifty seconds. Leshawna completes her first run in thirty five seconds. Sky runs it in thirty, wincing the entire time. When she joins everyone, Lightning flashes finger guns at her._

LIGHTNING: Nice work, Sky.

SKY: [sighs] It’s hard to climb a rock wall while you’re wearing a dress.

JO: You think _you_ have it tough? Look at Cheersquad!

_The camera pans to Amy, who struggles to climb the staircase in her poofy red ballgown. When she gets to the zip-line, she holds onto the handlebars with one hand and her skirt with the other._

AMY: Aaaah!

_Amy falls off and lands in the mud, ruining her hair and dress. Sammy, who is on the first platform by now, laughs._

AMY: Shut up! Shut up!

SAMMY: Guess you don’t have any arm strength because I’m the one always carrying your stuff!

_Sammy successfully takes the zip-line across. Meanwhile, Amy climbs back up to try again, whining the entire time._

AMY: My dress is ruined!

_Sammy finishes the rest of the course by the time Amy makes it to the climbing wall. Her time is twenty five seconds, and Sky high fives her._

SKY: You know, if you ever want to quit cheerleading, the Olympic gymnastics team would be lucky to have you.

SAMMY: I doubt it, but thanks for the vote of confidence.

_Amy has tears in her eyes as she finishes the course. Her time is fifty nine seconds. Mud is caked on her hair and her dress._

AMY: Brick! You totally made me wear this dress on purpose! You knew I’d fail the rope course!

BRICK: Negative, I didn’t even know we’d _have_ a rope course. I just think ballgowns look splendid. 

JO: [sarcastically] Hear that, Amy? High praise coming from Fashion School.

AMY: Fashion school? What’s _that_ supposed to mean?

JO: You didn’t know? Brick here is going to fashion school next year. And aren’t we all just so proud of him?

AMY: You mean you’re not even going to be _in the army_?

BRICK: [hesitantly] I suppose not, no.

AMY: I have wasted the past _week_ of my life on some guy who isn’t even in the army? I’m! I’m! I’m going to take a shower!

_Amy stalks off right as Leshawna arrives from her second run of the course. Her new time is thirty three seconds. She watches Amy leave._

LESHAWNA: Talk about bein’ the New Heather.

KATIE: Now that everyone’s finished the challenge…

SADIE: Jo wins immunity!

_Jo pumps her fist in the air._

JO: Yeah, baby!

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Yeah, I didn’t expect to get immunity with jocks like Lightning and Jo around. But it ain’t like I’m worried about getting voted out. Everybody hates Amy. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Flash forward to the walk back to camp. Everyone has changed out of their catwalk outfits except Lightning and Sammy, who actually enjoy their looks. Leshawna holds several rolls of toilet paper she swiped from backstage. Jo elbows Brick._

JO: I talked to Brightning, and he said he’ll vote off Noah with us.

BRICK: Oh yeah. Are you sure we can’t just vote for Amy?

JO: I have a vendetta against nerds.

BRICK: Riiiight. You know, you really looked great during the challenge today.

JO: [smirking] What can I say? I always look great during challenges.

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: [twiddling his thumbs] What the heck am I supposed to do now? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to back at camp. Sky is doing lunges on the dock. Lightning walks over in his gold robe._

SKY: You really like that thing, don’t you?

LIGHTNING: Yeah, it’s comfy! Wanna try it on?

SKY: Sure.

_Lightning tosses the robe to Sky, and she slips it on._

SKY: You’re right, it _is_ cozy.

LIGHTNING: Lightning’s always right! That’s why I came over just now.

_Sky frowns._

LIGHTNING: I like you, Sky.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: [eyes wide] When I decided honesty was best for my game, I _really_ didn’t think about the repercussions. [END CONFESSIONAL]

LIGHTNING: If you wanna keep playin’ the game, that’s cool. If you change your mind, that’s cool, too. Sha-bam!

SKY: Do you _mean_ that? Like, really mean it? You’re not gonna harass me because I don’t want to make out with you right this instant?

LIGHTNING: Lightning does a lot of things, but harassment isn’t one of them. The only thing Lightning does is _win_!

_Sky hugs him gratefully. Lightning returns the affection. When they break apart, Sky is smiling._

SKY: We better get back to camp, huh?

LIGHTNING: Yeah! Let’s win this thing!

_Cut to the campfire ceremony. The eight players sit around the circle. Katie and Sadie, still in their floofy dresses, stand next to the TV. Chris smiles from the screen._

CHRIS: Welcome to tonight’s elimination ceremony! Jo, won the challenge today, so you’re immune. Ladies, what’s her prize?

KATIE AND SADIE: A gift basket!

_They hold up said gift basket._

KATIE: We picked all the items out ourselves.

SADIE: The basket includes fruity dry shampoo, moisturizing hand lotion-

KATIE: -and some mineral water and chocolate bars! Yummy!

JO: Gee. Thanks.

CHRIS: Alright, let’s get on with it. Pick up your voting machines and send someone packing.

_Everyone picks up their remote voting machines and votes. Brick glances at Jo every so often. Noah smirks as he votes._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Just because I admire Jo’s tenacity, and her courage, and her confidence, and her hair… doesn’t mean I’m going to mindlessly listen to everything she says! I’m voting for Amy, end of story. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] AMY: Everyone on this island pisses me off. After Noah goes home, I’m voting out Sammy, then Jo, then everyone else. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: And the votes are in!

_Everyone stands up except Jo._

CHRIS: Jo is safe. The other safe campers are… Leshawna.

_Leshawna sits._

CHRIS: Lightning!

_Lightning kisses his bicep and sits down._

CHRIS: Leshawna!

_Leshawna sits._

CHRIS: Sky!

_Sky sits._

CHRIS: Brick!

_Brick sits._

CHRIS: Sammy!

_Sammy sits._

CHRIS: Well well, we’re down to Amy and Noah. Noah, you’re a bossy know-it-all. Amy, you’re bossy _and_ annoying.

_Amy glares at Chris. Noah glares at Amy._

CHRIS: We almost had a tie. Luckily, everyone voted 5 to 3 for…

_Jo stares at Brick._

_Noah folds his arms._

AMY: Get on with it!

CHRIS: Amy, you’re out.

_Noah sits down contentedly. Amy is apoplectic._

AMY: Are you kidding me? You’re voting _me_ out over this loser? Over Samey?

LESHAWNA: [annoyed] Leave your attitude at the door and _then_ we might have something to talk about. 

_Chef’s helicopter appears overhead._

AMY: I’m not going. You can’t make me! I want that million dollars!

CHRIS: Oh, yes I can. Katie? Sadie? 

_The guest hosts close in on Amy._

KATIE: Don’t be upset, Amy!

SADIE: Yeah! You can totally spend quarantine with us!

KATIE: Oh my _gosh_ , I can sew you a new outfit!

_Sadie grabs Amy’s arm and drags her to the rope ladder. Amy’s anger morphs into terror._

AMY: No! I don’t want to be stuck with these losers!

_The camera shows Chef chuckling as he maneuvers the helicopter up and away. Katie’s and Sadie’s laughter mingles with Amy’s screaming, then the sounds fade into the distance._

CHRIS: And everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief now that the blonde terror is gone.

_The TV switches off, and the campers dissipate. Before Brick can leave the bonfire circle, Jo grabs him by the collar._

JO: Hey, Brickhead, want some of my chocolate bars?

BRICK: Uh, sure?

_Jo wacks him in the head with the gift basket. Brick stumbles back in a daze._

JO: _That_ is for backstabbing the alliance.

BRICK: Consider it payback for all the times _you_ backstabbed _me_ on Revenge of the Island.

_Jo frowns, and then smiles, acknowledging what she interprets to be a compliment._

JO: I rubbed off on you, huh? I’m just that good at what I do.

_She tosses a chocolate bar at Brick._

JO: Here’s a pity bar. I’m not gonna use half this stuff anyways.

BRICK: Much appreciated, Jo.

JO: Whatever.

_They go their separate ways. The camera zooms out to show a full view of the island in the moonlight, then fades to black._

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Brick- Amy  
> Lightning- Noah  
> Leshawna- Amy  
> Jo- Noah  
> Sky- Amy  
> Amy- Noah  
> Sammy- Amy
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Harold, Lindsay, Zoey, Owen, Amy


	8. Episode 8: Don't Whine At Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the nighttime challenge hosted by Chef, two ex-contestants hunt the final seven. Brick is definitely in denial, Noah makes a discovery, and Sky offers an apology.

_The first shot shows Chris, asleep in his king sized bed. As Chris snores, the shot pans over to Chef, who is on the other side of the room, eating cookies by the fireplace. As usual, he is frowning._

CHEF: Previously on Total Drama Quarantine.

_Cut to Leshawna accidentally throwing a shoe at Noah’s head._

CHEF: The kids got to play dress up.

_A quick montage shows all eight campers walking down the runway._

CHEF: There were fashion fails and fashion, uh, not-fails. Leshawna won the first part of the challenge.

_Cut to a shot of Leshawna struggling to climb the ant-infested rock wall._

CHEF: But her advantage didn’t help her much in the ropes course. 

_Lightning falls off the stairs. Amy falls into the mud. Noah falls off the rope. Jo goes down the zip-line._

CHEF: Some campers struggled to finish, but ultimately Jo won immunity.

_Cut to Amy screaming at the campfire ceremony. Katie and Sadie drag her to the helicopter ladder._

CHEF: Amy got voted out, and no one really misses her.

_Cut back to Chef, who glares at the camera._

CHEF: Why is Chris asleep? What does the next challenge have in store for the kids? Find out right here on Total Drama Quarantine.

_~Theme song plays~_

_It’s nighttime. Chef’s helicopter flies low over the island. When it reaches the center of the island, two figures jump out. From this distance, it’s impossible to determine their identities._

UNKNOWN MALE VOICE: Aaaaah!

UNKNOWN FEMALE VOICE: Weeeee!

_The figures crash into the forest below, and the helicopter flies away._

_The nexts shots show the campers sleeping, blissfully unaware of what just occurred. In the boys’ hut, Lightning and Noah sleep soundly. Brick unconsciously salutes. In the girls’ hut, the four remaining girls also sleep soundly. Jo’s gift basket sits in between Jo and Sky; there’s chocolate on Sky’s face, evidence of a late night snack._

CHEF: [screaming offscreen] Attention campers! Get your sorry butts out here! Pronto!

_Sky’s eyes fly open. Jo gets up immediately. Leshawna and Sammy are slower on the uptake._

SAMMY: [sleepily] What’s going on?

JO: Nighttime challenge, probably. Either that, or Chef’s gone insane.

_Cut to the bonfire circle. Chef is on the TV screen, frowning. Jo and Brick, resident early risers, are the first two fully dressed and at the circle. Jo snickers._

JO: You are _so_ screwed, dude.

BRICK: How so?

JO: Hello? Night challenge mixed with your crippling phobia? Good _luck_.

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: During yesterday’s challenge, I made some, ahem, assertions that were unfounded. I do not have any feelings for Jo; I was just appreciating some good fashion! Yep, that was it. Besides, liking her would be a _suicide_ mission. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The other five contestants join them. Lightning is still wearing the robe from the runway challenge, and Sammy’s hair is still purple. Sky struggles to wipe the chocolate off her face._

LESHAWNA: Where’s Chris?

CHEF: He’s catchin’ up on his beauty sleep. And since he’s busy doin’ that, _I’m_ in charge of tonight’s challenge.

LIGHTNING: Which is?

CHEF: Shut up, I’m tryna tell you! Earlier I dropped off two rogue campers on the island. 

_Leshawna and Sammy glance at each other with worry._

CHEF: Each is equipped with a paintball gun that has been repurposed to shoot hand sanitizer. Goes with the quarantine theme better.

SKY: You took away hand sanitizer from people that _need_ it so we can use it in a challenge? What is wrong with you people?

_Chef rolls his eyes._

CHEF: Take it up with Chris! It was his idea. You maggots have to walk around the island and avoid getting shot. If you outlast everyone else, you get invincibility. If you disarm one of the rogues and shoot _them_ , you get invincibility. Finally, you can’t come back to home base until _after_ you’ve been eliminated. Any questions?

BRICK: Can you disarm them after you’ve been shot, sir?

CHEF: Sure, increase the carnage. Any other useless questions?

NOAH: Who exactly are the ‘rogues’ against whom we’re facing off?

CHEF: [chuckles evilly] An explosives expert and a crybaby germaphobe.

_Leshawna’s, Noah’s, and Sky’s eyes widen in recognition._

LESHAWNA: You don’t mean-

NOAH: Izzy?

SKY: Dave?

_Chef laughs some more._

CHEF: Guess you’ll have to get caught and find out. 

_The TV screen goes dark._ _Noah walks off immediately. Everyone looks at each other and does the same._

_Sammy follows Leshawna._

SAMMY: Hey! Leshawna! Wanna go together?

LESHAWNA: Sorry homegirl, I’m a one woman team on this one.

SAMMY: Oh, okay.

_Sammy frowns and hurries off to find another partner._

_Jo is about to walk into the woods when Brick jogs up to her._

BRICK: Jo! What say you about teaming up for this field mission?

JO: That depends. Are you gonna pee your pants?

BRICK: [defensively] What? No, I would never!

_Jo snickers and pats him on the shoulder._

JO: I’m going solo on this one. I suggest _you_ find a _flashlight_.

SAMMY: [offscreen] I’ll walk with you, Brick.

_Brick turns around; Sammy is right behind him._

SAMMY: I’m _terrified_ of the dark. Amy used to put spiders in my bed at night. I never slept well.

BRICK: Me too, soldier. Well, not the Amy part, but the scared-of-the-dark part.

_Jo raises an eyebrow and looks from Sammy to Brick._

JO: Well looks like you’ve found yourself a teammate, Soggy McGhee. Holler for me when you guys get tagged. _I’ll_ disarm the gunman.

BRICK: No need! Sammy and I will win invincibility tonight!

SAMMY: Yep! But, um, can we go back and grab a flashlight first?

BRICK: Roger that.

_Jo walks off to the right; Brick and Sammy walk off to the left._

_Leshawna strolls into a separate part of the woods. She’s armed with a leftover crate, a day-old fish, and a spool of rope._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I am _not_ outrunning Izzy. The best I can hope to do is trap her and shoot her. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Leshawna puts the fish on the ground and begins constructing her trap._

_Meanwhile, Noah walks alone on the beach. He reaches the bridges constructed in episode four. Instead of walking over the bridge, Noah gets his feet wet and wades under the Shrimp’s bridge. He smiles fondly at the drawings Owen created. Then he glances at the camera drone following him, and his smile disappears._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Amy’s gone, thankfully, so that leaves Brick and Jo. And honestly, everybody hated Amy, so kicking her off wasn’t even gratifying! … Is this how Alejandro felt during World Tour while he was plotting to get me kicked off? Wow, how times have changed. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Noah continues walking on the other side of the beach. Suddenly he stops and his eyes go wide. Several yards in front of him is a patio with deck chairs, tables, and beach umbrellas._

NOAH: When did _this_ get here?

_Cut to Brick and Sammy, who are conversing to distract each other from the fact they’re walking in an unfamiliar woods at night. Brick holds a flashlight he packed at the beginning of the season._

SAMMY: Fashion school sounds like a lot of fun.

BRICK: I know! A lot of people don’t understand it, but I believe the clothes you wear can reflect your inner character. In the right outfit, anyone can be confident and fearless.

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Confidence is one of my strong suits. Fearlessness? Well, I have enough humility to admit I have _several_ fears. … You know who is fearless though? Jo. [glares at camera] That doesn’t mean anything. I’m just stating a fact! [END CONFESSIONAL]

SAMMY: If that’s true, I guess that’s why it took me forever to stand up to Amy. For all of high school we’ve dressed exactly the same. I’m still working on the confidence thing.

_As they talk, a figure darts through the bushes behind them._

BRICK: I bet switching up your style would make a ton of a difference. Hey, maybe you should apply to fashion school, too.

_The figure takes aim from the shadows._

SAMMY: Yeah maybe I should. We could collaborate.

_Bam! A glob of pink sanitizer hits Sammy in the shoulder, and she falls. Brick screams and rushes to help her up._

BRICK: Man down!

SAMMY: Who’s there?

_Sammy stands back up and they stand back to back, looking for the source of the shot. Trembling nervously, Brick holds the flashlight out like a weapon._

BRICK: Reveal yourself immediately!

_To answer, the gunman shoots sanitizer right onto Brick’s forehead. Brick drops the flashlight in surprise, and the light sputters out._

BRICK: Agh! It’s dripping into my eyes!

_The figure does a backflip and plants herself right in front of them. In its hands, it holds a sanitizer-filled paintball gun. Its face is obscured by a horrifying pig mask._

_Brick squeaks in fear._

SAMMY: [terrified] W-we know who you are!

_The figure slowly reaches up and rips off the pig mask._

IZZY: Hi Sammy! Nice to shoot you, ahaha! Hi Brick! Wow, long time no _see_ , right? Last time we hung out, you were hanging in my spider web! So sad. Chef said no to a spider costume this time, but he _did_ let me wear this wicked mask.

_She giggles maniacally and puts the creepy pig mask back on. Brick faints._

SAMMY: Brick!

IZZY: Ohohoh, I’m sure he’ll be fine. So five to go, right? Who should I attack next?

_Izzy sniffs the air._

IZZY: I smell a nerd! Six hundred feet due East! Catcha later, Sammy!

_Izzy reloads her gun and dashes off into the woods. Sammy tries to wake up Brick by shining the flashlight in his eyes. It doesn’t work._

_Back at the mysterious patio, Noah sits on a chair. He’s about to doze off when he hears a sound. His eyes go wide._

NOAH: Izzy! I know you’re here!

_Izzy giggles, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Noah stands up and grabs the chair, looking around nervously._

_Cut to Jo, who walks alone through the woods. She swings the empty gift basket._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Yeah, I’m using the basket as a weapon. My plan is to find one of the other competitors and follow them around so if they get attacked, I’ll be right behind. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Offscreen, a twig breaks. Jo freezes at the sound and shimmies up a tree. A few seconds later, Sky and Lightning walk by._

LIGHTNING: So Dave is your psycho ex boyfriend?

SKY: No. We never dated. And we don’t even know Dave is the germaphobe crybaby Chef was talking about. 

LIGHTNING: Who else could it be then?

SKY: No, you’re right, it’s definitely Dave.  
  
 _Sky and Lightning walk offscreen. Jo slides down the tree, chuckling insidiously, and follows them._

_Cut back to Leshawna. She’s finished setting up the trap and sits on a tree branch, holding one end of the rope. The other end is attached to the box, which hangs fifteen feet in the air above the day-old fish._

LESHAWNA: Alright, Izzy, come to Leshawna.  
  
 _Cut back to the beach. Noah grabs a chair, willing to fight. He backs up, looking around for Izzy._

NOAH: So… exploded any buildings recently?

IZZY: [unseen] Nope! My parents won’t let me leave the house.

NOAH: Then how are you here?

IZZY: They _always_ make an exception for Total Drama, haha! Dad says this show is the only way to safely release my pent up aggression.

NOAH: Your dad and I have different definitions of safety.

_Pig mask on, Izzy pops up behind Noah and taps him on the shoulder. He whirls around, ready to attack, but the mask causes him to scream. Noah’s delayed reaction allows Izzy to hit him in the chest with pink sanitizer._

IZZY: Teehee, you’re out!

_Noah wipes the excess sanitizer off himself and turns to leave._

NOAH: [sarcastically] I’m heading back to camp so I can go back to sleep.

IZZY: Three down, five to go!

_Noah stops and faces Izzy._

NOAH: [smirks] Hey, you haven’t tagged Jo yet, have you?

_Cut to Lightning and Sky. They’ve arrived at the mess hall._

LIGHTNING: It took us this long to get to the mess hall?

SKY: We’ve probably been walking in circles for the last half hour.

LIGHTNING: Wow, this is sha-dumb. 

SKY: We should hang out here for a while. If Izzy or Dave shows up, we can barricade ourselves inside.

LIGHTNING: Sounds good to Lightning!

_Out of their line of vision, one the side of the mess hall, Jo climbs onto the roof and sits there, waiting._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: It occurred to me that I’m eavesdropping on a private conversation. Good thing I don’t care about Lightning’s privacy. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Brick and Sammy. Sammy is trying and failing to wake Brick._

SAMMY: Wake up! I don’t want to be alone out here! Izzy could come back at any moment!

_Brick’s eyelids flutter._

BRICK: Jo? Is that you?

_Sammy smiles and coughs._

SAMMY: No, dude. It’s Sammy. 

_Brick opens his eyes for real, and he sits up._

BRICK: What happened? How long was I out?

SAMMY: Um, Izzy tagged us out. You were unconscious for a half hour, maybe? I’m not sure.

BRICK: [slightly fazed] Thanks for not abandoning me, soldier. You’d make an excellent cadet.

SAMMY: Gymnast, fashionista, cadet… it’s like my options are limitless now.

BRICK: [still slightly dazed] Life is amazing.

SAMMY: Alright, we should go back to camp now.

BRICK: Wait! We still have the chance to win invincibility. We should go after Izzy or that Dave fellow.

SAMMY: Um, okay. As long as we stick together.

BRICK: Roger that! 

_Cut to Izzy, who is sprinting through the forest. Suddenly she stops and sniffs. A smell wafts past her nose, and she follows it._

_Leshawna is still in the tree, and she’s sleeping. Izzy doesn’t notice her, and instead makes a beeline for the fish on the ground._

IZZY: Yum! I haven’t eaten in twelve hours!

_Izzy’s blabbering wakes Leshawna up. She lets go of the rope, and the crate falls onto Izzy._

LESHAWNA: Success!

_Leshawna drops to the ground and picks up the paintball gun, which Izzy discarded when she started eating the fish._

_She kicks the crate over so Izzy is exposed and shoots her twice. Izzy gasps._

IZZY: Wow, you _totally_ beat me. That’s crazy, was _not_ expecting that!

LESHAWNA: Guess that means immunity for me, huh? Sweet.

_Cut to Lightning and Sky, who are still talking on the steps of the mess hall. Above them, Jo sits with her basket and yawns as she listens to them._

LIGHTNING: Who are you gonna vote for?

SKY: I like everybody here, so it’ll be tough to send someone home. Although I haven’t talked to Noah much. You?

LIGHTNING: Probably Jo. 

_Jo’s jaw drops._

SKY: It wouldn’t surprise me if she wins immunity again.

LIGHTNING: Exactly. She’s sha-dangerous.

DAVE: [offscreen] Sky is dangerous, too!

_Sky’s pupils shrink to pinpricks. Lightning gasps. Dave steps out from behind a tree and grins maniacally. His hair has grown back, but it’s more disheveled than it was in the past._

DAVE: Nice to see you too, Sky.

_Meanwhile, Sammy and Brick walk through the woods; Sammy holds the flashlight._

SAMMY: So… when you were waking up, you thought I was Jo.

BRICK: R-really? I don’t remember that.

SAMMY: It definitely happened.

BRICK: [defensively] I don’t like Jo!

_Sammy’s eyebrows shoot up._

SAMMY: I never said you did.

_They walk for a few seconds in silence, then Sammy starts another conversation._

SAMMY: Who do you think is still in the game?

BRICK: Probably Jo. 

SAMMY: What about Lightning and Sky?

BRICK: Oh yeah, them too, maybe.

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: [grinning] Amy never stood a chance. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut back to the mess hall. Sky and Lightning stand up defensively. Dave’s paintball gun points directly at them._

SKY: Why are you even here? You of all people would stay home in the middle of a pandemic!

DAVE: [laughing maniacally] I did consider that, but A, there’s no virus on this isolated island, B, Chef offered me a lifetime supply of sanitizer, and C, the thought of finally getting my revenge on you was _too_ tempting!

LIGHTNING: Hey, Bozo? Get lost.

DAVE: No way! Sky deserves to lose! And if I can assist in _any_ way with that, I’m going to seize the opportunity! You broke my heart, Sky. You ripped it into pieces!

SKY: Yeah, I did, and I’m sorry about that! But right now is not the time to talk about it!

_Dave points his paintball gun at Lightning._

DAVE: Are you leading _this guy_ on too?

LIGHTNING: Lightning's too smart to be led on!

_No one can see Jo’s silent laughter as she stands up._

DAVE: Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy. Say _goodbye_ to immunity, Sky. 

_He pulls the trigger and shoots. Sky and Lightning duck; the shot misses both of them. Meanwhile, Jo prepares to chuck her basket at Dave._

LIGHTNING: Sha-booyah!

_Lightning tackles Dave._

DAVE: _Oof_!

_Dave’s paintball gun goes off and shoots Jo in the shoulder._

JO: Aaaagh! 

_She falls off the roof and lands on her left arm with a crunch._

SKY: Jo? When did you get here?

JO: [angrily] I am going to _kill_ Lightning and Dave.

_Dave and Lightning tussle over the gun. Dave shoots Lightning several times in the face. Lightning screams._

LIGHTNING: My eyes, my eyes!

SKY: Stop it, Dave!

_Sky runs over to help Lightning against Dave. Jo has stood up, but she’s holding her left arm in pain. Simultaneously, Brick and Sammy arrive on the scene._

SAMMY: W-what’s happening?

BRICK: Jo, are you alright?

JO: [angrily] Fell off the roof thanks to Jockstrap and Dramatic Dave over there.

BRICK: The _roof_?

_Sky and Lightning struggle to take the paintball gun. Dave has wrapped himself around it and refuses to let go. He resembles a child refusing to give up a toy._

SKY: [yelling] When did you get so strong?

DAVE: [yelling back] I signed up for a gym!

SAMMY: Is immunity still up for grabs?

JO: Yep. 

_Despite her injured arm, Jo pushes herself between Lightning and Sky and starts battering Dave for the gun. Sammy tosses the flashlight to Brick and joins the tussle. Brick watches, slightly terrified, as the battle unfolds._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Dave is pathetic! I sat through his whole stupid monologue and then he had the audacity to fight us for the paintball gun? What a baby. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: The whole time we were wrestling for that gun, I was pretending Dave was my sister. Is that wrong? [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] DAVE: [severely bruised and bandaged] It was at that point I was questioning myself. Is fifty pounds of hand sanitizer _and_ revenge on the girl who destroyed your soul worth twenty broken bones? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Suddenly, someone rips the gun from Dave and sticks their fist in the air._

SAMMY: Whoopee!

_She somersaults away from the battle, stands up, and shoots Dave in the chest. He immediately starts rubbing his hands on his chest._

LIGHTNING: What’re you doing, fool?

DAVE: You guys are disgusting! So germy! Give me the gun back!

_Brick walks over and high fives Sammy._

BRICK: Congratulations, soldier. You performed valiantly.

SAMMY: Aw, thanks. I wouldn't be here if not for you.

_Jo and Lightning sit on the ground, disgruntled at their loss. Dave’s maniacal anger has dissolved into lethargic apathy. Sky offers Dave her hand._

SKY: We both screwed up. You don’t have to forgive me, but please know I’m sorry and I’m not going to hold anything against you.

_Dave stares at her before standing up without help._

DAVE: Go beg for someone else’s forgiveness.

_He starts to walk off into the woods._

BRICK: Camp’s the other way, soldier.

_Dave sighs sullenly and turns around. The six teens walk back to camp. Brick, Sammy, and Jo lead the way, followed by Sky and Lightning, and finally Dave._

SAMMY: I’m going to go talk to Dave.

BRICK: Adding therapy to your list of professions?

SAMMY: Definitely. 

_She falls back, leaving Jo and Brick alone. Jo shoves her hands into her hoodie pocket._

BRICK: How’s your arm?

JO: It’s fine, thank you very much.

BRICK: Care to arm wrestle to prove it?

JO: No!

BRICK: You sure?

JO: Shut up or I’m voting you off.

_The camera pans back to Lightning and Sky._

LIGHTNING: You good?

SKY: No, but I’ll get over it. I’m resilient like that.

_The camera pans back a final time to Sammy and Dave._

SAMMY: Can I just say one thing?

DAVE: [apathetic] Go for it, Samey.

_Sammy’s eye twitches, but she keeps her cool._

SAMMY: If there’s one thing I’ve learned on Total Drama, it’s that you can’t let your relationships with another person define you. My sister treated me like crap. You and Sky had a rough break. It hurts, but you’re not gonna get anywhere unless you start trying to move past it.

DAVE: [unconvinced] Yeah, I guess.

_Cut to the elimination ceremony. Everyone sits around the unlit campfire circle, except Izzy and Dave. Izzy is wearing her pig mask. Using her paintball gun, Izzy takes shots at Dave._

CHEF: Alright. Leshawna gets immunity for shooting Izzy, Sammy gets immunity for shooting Dave, and Sky gets immunity because she was the last person to get hit. Get to voting.

_Everyone votes on the remote voting devices. Noticeably, Jo does not use her left arm at all._

CHEF: Alright, votes are in. All ya’ll stand up. The following players can sit. Leshawna, Sammy, and Sky.

_The three immune girls sit down._

CHEF: Brick.

_Brick sits down._

CHEF: Noah.

_Noah sits down._

CHEF: Now we’re down to our final two.

_Jo and Lightning glare at each other across the firepit._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Lightning’s the reason I fell off a roof. Sha-bye! [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: Jo is not getting _any_ farther. Sha-yeah! [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Voting with Jo is about _strategy_! Honest! No ulterior motives! [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Two down, one to go. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: I voted for Lightning. No _way_ am I going to separate Brick and Jo, they're way too entertaining. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Noah suggested Jo, so vote for Jo it is. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: Um… [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHEF: Heh. It’s a tie between the two. 

EVERYONE: What?!

CHEF: Let’s just get on with this. I have a helicopter to catch. So here’s your tiebreaker: best of three, rock paper scissors.

SKY: That’s gotta be the dumbest tiebreaker ever!

CHEF: I don’t care. I’ll be at the island in ten minutes. Have it figured out.

_The TV switches off. Jo and Lightning stare at each other._

JO: No adult supervision? I saw we fight this out.

LIGHTNING: Bring it on!

_Leshawna, annoyed, steps in between them._

LESHAWNA: As one of the only adults on this stupid island, I say you are _not_ fighting to death on this beach. Rock paper scissors it is.

_Jo and Lightning step up and stare at each other intently. Sky and Brick are equally invested in the outcome. They shake their fists, and Leshawna counts off._

LESHAWNA: One, two, three!

_Jo rolls a scissors; Lightning rolls a rock. He eagerly punches Jo in the arm._

LIGHTNING: Boom! You just got hit by Lightning!

JO: Ow! That doesn’t even make sense!

LESHAWNA: One to zero, Lightning. Next round.

NOAH: Go for the paper.

_Jo and Lightning both glare at him before rolling._

LESHAWNA: One, two, three!

_Jo rolls scissors; Lightning rolls a paper._

JO: Boom! Thanks, Nerdboy.

_Noah sighs._

LESHAWNA: One all! Next point wins!

_Jo and Lightning shake their fists._

LESHAWNA: One, two, three! 

_Jo and Lightning both roll a rock._

LIGHTNING: Darn it!

LESHAWNA: Hurry this up, I’m tryna get back to sleep.

_Jo and Lightning throw their hands out._

LESHAWNA: One, two, three!

_Lightning throws down a rock. Jo throws down paper._

JO: Woo hoo! I win! I win!

_She pumps both fists in the air before wincing and immediately retracting her left arm. Lightning slumps._

LIGHTNING: No way! Lightning demands a rematch!

LESHAWNA: That’s game, buddy. Sorry Lightning.

_Leshawna and Noah head to sleep. The other five wait for Chef to arrive. In the background, Izzy has knocked out Dave._

LIGHTNING: You are the worst, Jo! Why you always gotta rain on my parade?

JO: I won fair and square. Sucks to suck, Brightning.

_Sky frowns at Jo._

BRICK: Hey Jo, why don’t you come with me and I’ll get some bandages for that clearly broken arm?

JO: What? My arm is _not_ broken! How many times do I have to tell you that?

_For once, Brick ignores Jo and drags her off to get the bandages, if only to get her to stop gloating in front of Lightning._

SKY: I should’ve voted for Jo instead of Noah. I split the votes! I’m sorry, Lightning. 

LIGHTNING: Don’t sha-sweat it, girl. I’m not staying mad at you. 

[CONFESSIONAL] LIGHTNING: Normally, Lightning would be _raging_ mad after getting voted off. But guess what? Talking with Sky really mellowed me out. Lightning can do the raging mad stuff when he gets home. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Brick tying a white handkerchief into a sling. He slips it onto Jo's arm. Jo is unamused by the whole process._

JO: We don’t even know it’s broken!

BRICK: Chris definitely won’t care enough to send a doctor, so we’ll operate under the assumption that it _is_.

JO: What are you, a licensed medical professional? 

BRICK: No ma’am. We all learned elementary first aid during basic training.

JO: Something you learned during basic training is actually useful? I never thought I’d see the day.

BRICK: I live to serve.

_Chef arrives in the helicopter. The rope ladder drops down, and Izzy climbs up, holding Dave’s limp body. The pig mask is now on Dave._

IZZY: [screaming] Come on, Lightning! The Izzy Express waits for no man!

SAMMY: Bye, Lightning.

SKY: Bye!

_Lightning high fives Sammy and hugs Sky._

LIGHTNING: Kick Jo’s _butt_ for me!

SKY: [smiling] Will do!

_Lightning climbs the bottom rung of the ladder. Chef guides the helicopter into the sky, but not before Lightning is slammed into a tall tree. Sky cringes._

SKY: You okay?

LIGHTNING: Yeah!

_His reply fades into the distance as Chef flies away. Brick and Jo rejoin Sammy and Sky at the bonfire circle._

JO: Every time Jockstrap leaves this competition, it’s cathartic.

SKY: So your arm’s broken?

JO: No-

BRICK: [interrupting] Yes, yes it is.

JO: But don’t think that makes me any less of a threat, Sky.

SKY: Wouldn’t dream of it.

BRICK: Well ladies, I’m off to bed. See you in the morning.

SAMMY: Goodnight, Brick!

_Brick walks back to the boys’ hut, while the girls go to theirs._

SAMMY: Brick’s such a nice guy.

JO: Awful competitor, but he can be decent sometimes.

SKY: I can’t tell if that’s meant to be a compliment or an insult.

_They enter the girls’ hut. The camera zooms out until the entire island is in frame, and then it fades to black._

_Roll credits._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Brick- Lightning  
> Jo- Lightning  
> Sammy- Lightning  
> Lightning- Jo  
> Noah- Jo  
> Leshawna- Jo  
> Sky- Noah
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey, Owen, Amy, Lightning


	9. Episode 9: Revenge of the Scavenger Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cast splits up for a scavenger hunt in homage to past seasons. Brick helps Jo with her broken-or-not arm, Noah angers Leshawna, and Sammy gets into trouble with a seagull.

_The first shot shows Chris giving himself a mud mask complete with cucumbers slices on his eyes._

CHRIS: On the last episode of Total Drama Quarantine!

_Chef drops Izzy and Dave onto the island._

CHRIS: Chef directed the obligatory nighttime challenge while _I_ had a well deserved rest. 

_Cut to Brick and Sammy getting shot by Izzy in a pig mask. The flashlight goes out._

CHRIS: Izzy did a delightful job of attacking campers.

_Leshawna’s trap comes down on Izzy._

CHRIS: Until Leshawna trapped her and earned immunity. Sigh.

_Dave threatens Sky and Lightning with his paintball gun._

CHRIS: Meanwhile, our _other_ gunman got emotional with Sky.

_Lightning tackles Dave, who accidentally shoots Jo off the roof._

CHRIS: Jo got injured thanks to Lightning.

_Cut to everyone except Brick struggling for the gun. Sammy shoots Dave._

CHRIS: Sammy won immunity when she successfully shot Dave.

_Jo and Lightning do rock paper scissors. Jo wins and cheers victoriously._

CHRIS: A split vote forced Jo and Lightning to do a tiebreaker round of rock paper scissors. Ultimately, Jo won, forcing Lightning out of the competition.

_Cut back to Chris. He eats one of the cucumber slices._

CHRIS: Six competitors left! Who will get airlifted out next? Find out right here, right now on Total Drama Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_It’s morning on the island. Leshawna is hanging up laundry. Noah and Sky sit on one side of the circle, both eating berries for breakfast. While Noah sits on a rock, Sky sits on a red lounge chair. Sammy sits down on a blue lounge chair on the other side of Noah._

SAMMY: Hey Noah. Hi, Sky.

NOAH: Mph.

SKY: Sleep well?

SAMMY: Same as usual.

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Two days ago, Chris dropped off lounge chairs for Leshawna, Sky, and me. It was our reward for winning the sanitizer challenge. We haven’t had a challenge since then. In other news, Brick has been waiting on Jo hand and foot since she got injured. It’s half funny, half concerning. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sammy looks over, and the camera follows her gaze across the fire pit. Jo is sitting by herself, and Brick drops a cooked fish in her lap._

BRICK: Fish for the invalid!

JO: It’s undercooked, soldier. Cook it more.

BRICK: As you wish.

_Brick picks up the fish and throws it into the fire. It promptly turns charcoal black._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Normally I’d rather go to prison than let anyone think I need help. But bossing Brick around never ceases to amuse me. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Brick gives the burnt fish to Jo before sitting down next to her. He eats his own unburnt fish. Leshawna sits down on the yellow lounge chair between Brick and Sky._

JO: Hey Sky, how’s day three without your boyfriend?

SKY: We weren’t dating.

JO: Yeah yeah, tell that to the cameras.

_Leshawna rolls her eyes and takes a bite of her own cod._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: These younger kids are dramatic with a capital D! Sure, I like talking to Sky and Sammy, but I’m not here for the romance or competition. I’m here for the money. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The TV behind Leshawna turns on, and Chris’ beady-eyed smile greets them._

CHRIS: Good morning, final six! Long time, no see.

JO: Oh great, it’s Chris McLame.

SKY: Is it challenge time?

CHRIS: [snidely] I will choose to ignore Jo’s comment because I am a professional. Yes, it is challenge time!

_Right on cue, Chef’s helicopter arrives and drops a box onto the beach. It narrowly misses flattening Sammy. Chef chuckles before flying away._

CHRIS: Go ahead and open the box, Sammy.

_Sammy takes the top off the crate. Inside are three GPS devices._

SAMMY: Um, what are these for?

CHRIS: Today’s challenge is a _scavenger hunt_! Yesterday, one of our interns snuck onto the island to hide nine objects you will be tasked with retrieving.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: What is it with Chris and sneaking interns onto the island? He can’t leave his mansion to host the show, but he can endanger the lives of unpaid teenagers? … Wait. Nevermind. That’s definitely a Chris thing to do. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: You six will be split into three teams. Each team has to find one of each item for a three item total. First, you must find a peanut bag used during World Tour’s elimination ceremonies.

_A peanut bag appears on the screen. Noah sighs._

CHRIS: The second is a replica key of the one used during Revenge of the Island’s final pre-merge challenge.

BRICK: What challenge was that?

JO: We had to dig up Gamer Guy and Gothball. You’d understand the reference if you hadn’t gotten yourself voted out so early.

BRICK: You were the one who voted me out!

JO: Yeah, because you kept trying to be large and in charge!

CHRIS: _Ahem_! The final object you must procure is a coin, much like the one we used in Pahkitew Island’s vending machine challenge.

SAMMY: Which one-

SKY: Don’t. Ask.

CHRIS: Your GPS will provide you with clues to the whereabouts of each item. First team back here with all three items wins the challenge.

BRICK: What are the teams?

_Chris grins._

CHRIS: I’m sure our resident brainiac has figured it out.

_Everyone turns to look at Noah, who sighs._

NOAH: There’s two people left from each batch of contestants. Coupled with the fact that each item references a different season, the obvious team ups are Leshawna and me, Jo and Brick, and Sammy and Sky.

CHRIS: Bingo bongo! Good luck campers, you’re gonna need it! And, _go_!

_Sammy, Brick, and Noah each grab a GPS and hurry off to consult with their partner._

SKY: Looks like our peanut bag is on the west side of the island.

SAMMY: I haven’t been over there before!

SKY: There’s a first time for everything.

_The girls dash off._

NOAH: Ours is at the patio.

LESHAWNA: What patio?

_Noah walks off. Leshawna rolls her eyes and follows him. Brick and Jo are still squint at their screen. There’s a large circle in the lower part of the forest._

BRICK: If memory serves me correctly, that’s the quicksand pit.

JO: Brilliant work, soldier. Let’s move!

_Brick stares at her arm in its sling._

BRICK: You can’t run like that.

JO: I don’t have a choice. I’ll be fine, soldier. 

BRICK: I refuse to let you injure yourself further!

JO: What do you _suggest_ , then? 

_Cut to a shot of Brick running through the woods. He carries Jo on his back, piggyback style. Jo does not look amused._

JO: Faster, soldier! Faster!

BRICK: As you wish!

_Cut to Sky and Sammy, who arrive on the west side of the beach. For the most part, it’s completely barren._

SAMMY: Alright, where could it be?

SKY: Do you think we have to dig?

_Without warning, a seagull poops on Sammy’s shoulder._

SAMMY: Ew! Ew ew ew!

_Sky makes a face, but her eyes follow the offending seagull. It flies over to its nest, which is perched on a tower of rocks._

SKY: Look! The peanut bag

_She points to the nest. Next to the seagull is the white peanut bag._

SAMMY: Um, I’ll distract it so you can get the bag.

_She picks up a rock and throws it, intentionally missing the bird._

SAMMY: Hey! I’m not gonna hit you, I just need to distract you for a little bit!

_The seagull screeches and swoops out of its nest. While it chews on Sammy’s purple hair, Sky climbs up and takes the peanut bag from the nest._

SKY: Got it!

SAMMY: [tearfully] Great.

_Cut to the patio. Leshawna and Noah look around for a peanut bag._

LESHAWNA: Was this patio always here or is Chris playin’ mind games?

NOAH: I have a few theories.

_He picks up a key lying on one of the chairs._

LESHAWNA: Wrong item, hon.

NOAH: Too bad.

_Smirking, Noah throws the key behind him. It lands half-buried in the sand next to the patio._

_Leshawna crawls under one of the tables and grabs the barf bag that was underneath it._

LESHAWNA: Woo hoo! One down, two to go. Where to next, Noah?

_Noah examines the GPS._

NOAH: Our key is somewhere in the middle of the woods.

_Cut to Brick and Jo at the quicksand pit. The peanut bag sits right in the middle; it’s too light to trigger the sand to sink._

JO: Alright, Brick-for-brains, here’s the plan: you walk right in there and grab the bag.

BRICK: Yes, ma’am!

_He drops Jo and starts walking. Before he can step in the quicksand, Jo grabs his shirt collar and pulls him back._

JO: At ease, I was joking.

BRICK: Are you sure? That sounded like something you’d genuinely consider.

JO: I’m not gonna let you drown in quicksand.

BRICK: Really?

JO: Yeah. How am I supposed to finish the challenge without my teammate?

_Cut to Sky and Sammy, who are at the dock, looking around for their second item._

SKY: I don’t see any key.

SAMMY: Yeah, me neither. 

SKY AND SAMMY: You don’t think it’s-?

_They both look down at the water._

SAMMY: There’s only one way to find out.

_Cut to Brick and Jo. Brick has found a long, pointed stick. He lies on the ground and attempts to poke the peanut bag. After his third unsuccessful attempt, Jo rolls her eyes._

JO: Let me do that for you.

BRICK: Nope! You’re injured. I can do this, I promise.

_He hits the peanut bag, but it doesn’t pierce the bag._

JO: Brick, hand over the stick. That’s an order!

BRICK: Order denied on account of your broken arm.

_Jo raises an eyebrow._

JO: When did you grow a backbone?

_Brick jabs the stick one more time and it pierces the peanut bag. He grins, stands up, and takes the peanut bag off the end of the stick._

JO: Wow. Good work, soldier. I’m impressed.

BRICK: Where’s our next deployment?

JO: East side of the beach, past the bridges.

_Brick picks up Jo and they jog off to their next destination._

_Cut to Leshawna and Noah staring down their next obstacle: a beehive._

NOAH: The key is _definitely_ in there.

LESHAWNA: I feel for the poor intern who had to put it inside.

_Noah sits down and looks at Leshawna expectantly._

LESHAWNA: What?

NOAH: Go on, get the key.

LESHAWNA: Oh no, mister. Don’t you pull that ‘beehives aren’t my forte’ nonsense.

NOAH: Dude, I have allergies.

LESHAWNA: _I_ found the peanut bag. Now it’s your turn to contribute.

NOAH: Listen, Leshawna, can’t we make a deal or something?

_Leshawna sticks a finger in Noah’s face._

LESHAWNA: I thought you wanted to _win_. It’s like all your drive disappeared the second Owen got voted off.

NOAH: Hey! I’ve been diligently trying to get Jo kicked off.

LESHAWNA: Well if we don’t win this challenge, I _guarantee_ I’ll be voting for you if you keep up the attitude.

_Noah stands up and glares at her._

NOAH: Fine. I’ll get the stupid key.

_He throws the GPS at the beehive. Leshawna gasps and dives for it. A swarm of bees emerges from the hive and starts chasing her. Leshawna screams and runs around wildly. Meanwhile, Noah nonchalantly sticks his hand into the beehive, rummages around, and pulls out a honey-covered key._

_Cut to Sammy and Sky. Now wearing their swimsuits, the girls dive into the water. They swim around before Sammy motions Sky over._

_Their key is attached to the shell of a sleeping snapping turtle. The girls look at each other and swim up for air._

SAMMY: Can I _please_ not be attacked by an animal again?

SKY: Yeah, sure thing. Let me try. 

_Sky dives down and tries to grab the key from the snapping turtle. It wakes up and suddenly snaps at her violently. Sky narrowly avoids being bitten and swims back up to Sammy._

SAMMY: Now what?

_Meanwhile, Brick and Jo have reached the patio._

JO: What the _heck_ is this place?

BRICK: No time for questions. Let’s get searching.

_Jo rolls her eyes and starts looking around. Brick checks the tops of umbrellas; Jo looks underneath the chairs._

JO: I don’t see anything!

BRICK: Take a break, soldier! 

_Jo makes a face._

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Okay, first of all, Brick is being weirdly confident. Second, he keeps treating me like I can’t do anything because my arm is “broken.” It was endearing for the first two days, but now it’s starting to get old. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Sky underwater. She holds a strand of seaweed and offers it to the turtle. The snapping turtle gobbles it up. While its jaw is working, Sky unties the string from the turtles back, freeing the key. She swims upward and breaks the surface next to Sammy._

SKY: Got it!

SAMMY: Great! Let’s get changed and head to the next location.

_Cut to Leshawna and Noah walking through the woods. Leshawna has several swollen bites on her face. She holds the key and the peanut bag; Noah holds the GPS._

NOAH: Sooo… we could make a final two alliance. 

LESHAWNA: I would have been open to it if you hadn’t sacrificed me _to the bees_.

NOAH: You said I needed to get the key. You didn’t say _how_. Don’t fault me for your sloppy management.

LESHAWNA: That psychological trickery doesn’t work on me. I’m mad at you and I’m _staying_ mad at you until we win. Speakin’ of, where we headed now?

NOAH; The river.

LESHAWNA: Which part?

_Noah sighs and shows her the map. Instead of a circle displaying the rough area, the entire river is highlighted on the screen._

NOAH: All of it.

_Cut back to Jo and Brick, who haven’t had any luck._

JO: Are we sure that dumb GPS isn’t faulty?

BRICK: Well, no, but we have no means to determine its faultiness.

_Jo kicks a chair in frustration before leaning against the wooden railing, a sour expression on her face._

BRICK: It’s fine, Jo! We’re gonna find the key. 

_He stands next to her at the railing, but he faces outward towards the beach. His gaze travels downward, and he gasps._

BRICK: Look!

_Jo turns to follow his gaze right as Brick jumps over the railing and into the sand. He picks up the key and shows it to her._

BRICK: We’re still in this!

_The sour look on Jo’s face is replaced by a genuine smile. Almost immediately, the smile becomes a smirk of determination._

JO: Let’s go find that coin!

_Cut to the bridges over the river. Sammy and Sky are examining the area; Sammy is on the Shrimp’s bridge, and Sky is on the Roosters’ bridge. Brick appears, with Jo on his back._

BRICK: Sammy!

SAMMY: Hey Brick! Hi Jo!

JO: [to Brick] We need to keep moving. No time for chit chat! 

_Brick jogs as he and Sammy talk._

SAMMY: What are you guys looking for?

BRICK: Our coin, you?

SAMMY: Same! We’re almost done!

_Before Brick can respond, Jo whacks him on the head._

JO: No fraternizing with the enemy!

BRICK: As you wish.

_He smiles politely at Sammy as they pass. Sammy waves farewell._

SKY: Sammy, focus!

_When they’re a safe distance away, Jo begins scheming._

JO: We need to vote out Sky.

BRICK: What? But Sky’s so nice.

JO: You think _everyone_ here is nice, Brick-for-brains. She’s made it to a finale before. She’s a threat. Therefore, she must be eliminated.

BRICK: As you wish.

JO: Stop with the ‘as you wish’ stuff!

_Cut to Leshawna and Noah, digging around the riverbed for their coin._

NOAH: Find anything?

LESHAWNA: Nope.

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: So maybe I need to put in a little more effort into this relationship. [END CONFESSIONAL]

NOAH: I’m gonna look downstream. 

LESHAWNA: [annoyed] Sounds good to me.

_Cut to the bridges. Sky joins Sammy on the suspension bridge. Both girls are frowning._

SAMMY: Ugh, I haven’t found anything!

SKY: Me neither. But I’m sure the coin is located here.

SAMMY: But we’ve literally looked everywhere!

SKY: Why don’t we switch bridges? I’ll check this one, you check the other.

SAMMY: O-okay.

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: I really hope the coin wasn’t on my bridge. I will feel _awful_ if we lose the challenge because I sucked at finding a coin. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Brick and Jo at the mess hall. Brick tries to open the door, but it’s locked. From her perch on Brick’s back, Jo groans._

JO: Okay, new plan. You throw me through the window, I get the coin, we win.

BRICK: I’m not throwing you through the window. _I’ll_ jump through and retrieve it.

JO: No, this is _my_ mission, soldier.

BRICK: _I_ got this!

JO: No way! I’ve figured out your game, Brick-for-brains.

BRICK: _What game_?

JO: You keep insisting you can do everything so you have an excuse to vote me off if we lose! You’ve retrieved the peanut bag, the key, and now you want the coin!

BRICK: That’s crazy talk!

_Brick lets go of Jo’s legs so she has no choice but to get down. They glare at each other._

BRICK: I genuinely don’t want you to strain yourself so your arm can heal faster!

JO: Yeah right! Now you’re just wasting precious time so we’ll lose the challenge!

BRICK: You’re incorrigible!

_Before Jo can fight back, Brick jumps through the mess hall’s open window to retrieve the coin._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: I would like to state for the record, that I am _not_ in denial about anything. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Brick is the one person here I can consistently rely on. Not that I _need_ to rely on anybody! But yeah, making him mad is probably not the best course of action. Strategy-wise, of course. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Sky, who is looking underneath the suspension bridge for the coin. She chuckles at Owen’s paintings. Her gaze travels up the pillar, and her eyes widen._

SKY: Sammy! I have an idea!

_Cut to Noah and Leshawna, still searching the river. Neither looks very happy. Noah reaches into the water, and a crab latches onto his hand._

NOAH: Aaaaaah!

_Leshawna laughs at his misfortune._

LESHAWNA: Keep it up, Noah! Keep it up.

_Cut back to the bridges. Sammy stands next to one of the pillars that holds the cables. Sky is standing on Sammy’s shoulders. She sweeps her hand over the top of the pillar._

SKY: No coin on this one.

SAMMY: Can you see the other ones?

_Sky twists to look at the remaining three poles. She points to the one on the opposite side of the bridge._

SKY: There! I think I see it!

_Sammy walks over to the pole Sky referenced. Sammy walks carefully so Sky has no problem balancing. When they make it over, Sky grins._

SKY: This is it! We have all three items! 

SAMMY: Let’s go!

_Sammy starts running, but the sudden motion causes Sky to fall off her shoulders._

_Meanwhile, Jo taps her foot impatiently outside the mess hall._

JO: What is _taking_ so long?

_Immediately, the coin flies out the window and smacks her in the face._

JO: Ow!

_Brick crawls through the window._

JO: You know you could’ve used the door, right?

BRICK: No time for bantering! We have a challenge to win!

_Cut to Noah and Leshawna sifting through the river. Noah’s hand is puffy and red from being assaulted by the crab. Suddenly, he gasps._

NOAH: I found the coin! Let’s go! 

_They immediately start running back to camp._

_Cut back to Jo and Brick running through the woods._

JO: Faster! 

BRICK: Yes, ma’am!

_Brick picks up the pace. The camera cuts back to Sammy and Sky, who are running along the beach._

SKY: We’re totally gonna make it!

SAMMY: Yes!

_Cut back to the bonfire circle. No one has reached it yet, but the TV is on and Chris is on screen, smiling expectantly. Beside him is Chef, annoyed as usual._

CHRIS: Any bets, Chef?

CHEF: It’s definitely gonna be-

_He’s cut off by Brick running out of the woods._

JO: Did we win?

_Sky and Sammy arrive seconds later, but their confident smiles drop immediately._

CHRIS: Congratulations, Brick and Jo! You win the challenge and are safe from immunity.

_Brick throws his hands in the air, and Jo falls off his back._

BRICK: Woohoo! We won!

JO: _Ow_!

BRICK: I am so sorry, are you okay?

SAMMY: Congrats, Brick!

SKY: Yeah, congrats.

[CONFESSIONAL] SKY: I was planning on sending Jo home. You know, since she’s the reason Lightning is gone. Guess I’ll have to vote for Noah again instead. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Leshawna arrives. Noah trails her by two seconds._

CHRIS: Well look at that, Chef! Our seasoned reality TV experts lost big time.

LESHAWNA: _What_? We’re the last here?

NOAH: At least we’re not immediately eliminated for being the last here.

_Leshawna glares at him._

LESHAWNA: That makes me feel _so_ much better.

CHRIS: Votes are tonight, folks! I’ll be back in seven hours to kick one of you off! See ya!

_The TV shuts off._

SAMMY: So what do we do with the keys and stuff?

_Everyone stares awkwardly at each other._

_Cut to later in the day. Everyone is doing their own thing. Brick sits on the dock, chatting with Sammy, who is treading water. Brick is oblivious when Jo walks onto the dock, but Sammy notices._

SAMMY: I’m gonna, uh, do some laps. I’ll talk to you later Brick.

_She swims away, leaving Brick scratching his head. Jo smirks._

BRICK: That was weird.

JO: Soldier!

BRICK: Aah!

_Startled, Brick jumps up and promptly falls into the water. Jo chuckles._

BRICK: Aw, thanks a lot!

JO: Not my fault you startle over the tiniest things.

BRICK: You know I’d pull you in if it wasn’t for your arm.

_The teasing smirk on Jo’s face disappears, and she coughs._

JO: Yeah, uh, about that.

_Brick raises an eyebrow. Jo huffs and quickly spits out what she has to say._

JO: For reasons I can’t understand, you’ve been really helpful lately. So thanks for looking out for me. Also I’m sorry if I made you mad earlier. 

BRICK: Wow, you’re _apologizing_?

_Jo glares at him._

JO: This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, buddy.

BRICK: I know, I know. Consider the incident forgotten. I’m always happy to help a fellow soldier.

JO: You are so weird.

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Jo? Admitting her own flaws? Maybe this is a turning point! [END CONFESSIONAL]

JO: So, are we voting Sky tonight?

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Then again, maybe not. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the evening. The final six sit around the campfire, and Chris is on screen, smiling in his pleasant-yet-threatening way._

CHRIS: Welcome to your eighth elimination ceremony! As a quick reminder, Brick and Jo have immunity.

_Brick offers Jo a high five. She returns it._

CHRIS: Tonight, it’s gonna work a little differently, heheh. You see, only three votes will be cast.

_Sky and Sammy exchange a worried glance. Noah sighs in relief._

CHRIS: Each team from today’s challenge will vote for one player. Both members must agree on the player you're booting. 

LESHAWNA: _What_?

_Noah snickers._

CHRIS: Get to voting, kids!

_The contestants split into their teams. Jo confidently submits her vote while Brick looks on. Sammy and Sky whisper to each other before Sky makes the selection. Leshawna glares at Noah, but after some deliberation they agree on a victim._

CHRIS: Votes are in! 

_The four sitting ducks stand up._

CHRIS: The following players are safe: Sammy.

_Sammy sits down._

CHRIS: And Leshawna!

_Leshawna sits down._

CHRIS: Noah and Sky, you are the bottom two. If I call your name, you’re going home tonight.

_Sky and Noah look at each other. Both of them are wearing poker faces._

CHRIS: And that person… is…

_Noah folds his arms._

_Sky’s stomach rumbles._

CHRIS: Sky! Hasta la vista, baby.

SKY: What? Are you kidding me?

JO: Take it as a compliment, Shortstack. You’re a viable threat.

_Leshawna, Noah, and Brick nod in agreement. Chef’s helicopter arrives right on time. The rope ladder dangles in front of Sky._

SKY: [smiling sadly] Well I knew my chances of getting to the finale again were slim. It was fun to play with you guys.

SAMMY: I’ll miss you!

_Sky climbs onto the ladder._

SKY: I'll miss you, too! 

_Chef zips away, and Sky screams as the ladder flails. Her screams fade as she gets farther, and soon she’s gone._

_Cut to Chris, standing in his mansion._

CHRIS: With Sky gone, how will Sammy fare as the youngest of the cast? What the heck is up with Jo and Brick? Will Leshawna ever forgive Noah for his smart-aleck shenanigans? The answers will be revealed in the next episode of Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Roll credits._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Noah/Leshawna- Sky  
> Jo/Brick- Sky  
> Sammy/Sky- Noah
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey, Owen, Amy, Lightning, Sky
> 
> Heheh this episode was so fun for me to write. Originally when I sat down to write episode 9, I had a different challenge in mind. But when I realized the split was two campers per cast, I knew I had to use that. ^^ Hmm, maybe next episode I'll time how long it takes me to write it.


	10. Episode 10: Extreme Trivia Skiing Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a week and a half without access to haircuts, the final five are looking pretty scruffy. Meanwhile, Chris sends in a temporary host to quiz the contestants during a water skiing trivia competition.

_The shot opens to Chris doing yoga. His scruffy hair is pulled back into a manbun._

CHRIS: Last time on Total Drama Quarantine!

_Cut to a split screen of the three teams: Sky and Sammy, Brick and Jo, and Noah and Leshawna._

CHRIS: Our scavenger hunt paired up the kids based on their debut seasons.

_The seagull poops on Sammy’s shoulder. Sky feeds seaweed to the snapping turtle._

CHRIS: Pahkitew’s Sammy and Sky had some incidents with the local wildlife.

_Noah throws the GPS at the beehive. Bees swarm Leshawna._

CHRIS: Island’s Noah and Leshawna had their disagreements. Speaking of disagreements...

_At the mess hall, Brick and Jo yell at each other before Brick jumps through the window. Cut to Brick and Jo running back to the beach._

CHRIS: Revenge of the Island’s Brick and Jo got into a tussle regarding Jo’s injured arm. Despite their differences, these two jocks won immunity!

_Cut to the campfire ceremony. The three teams sit together as they vote._

CHRIS: In a clever twist by _moi_ , only three votes were cast, one from each team. Heheh, I’m good.

_Cut to a closeup on Sky when the final vote is read._

CHRIS: And that’s how our resident gymnast Sky found herself voted off.

_Cut back to Chris, who is doing a pretzel pose._

CHRIS: We’re down to our final five! Who’s going home next? When can I leave my house? And what exactly is the name of the island they've been staying on? Find out the answer to at least _one_ of those questions right here, right now, on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_The opening scene is in the girls’ hut. Both Sammy and Leshawna brush their hair while a disgruntled Jo looks on. Both Leshawna’s and Jo’s hair is noticeably longer._

LESHAWNA: You good, Sporty? You look even less agreeable than usual.

JO: Absolutely fine. 

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: Did not sleep well last night. I’m gonna chalk it up to my stupid arm and definitely not any psychological feelings mumbo jumbo. What was I saying? Oh yeah. You suck, Lightning! [END CONFESSIONAL]

SAMMY: Jo, um, your hair looks nice today. 

_Jo growls at her._

JO: I need to cut this ASAP. Where’s the scissors you used to ruin your own hair, Thing Two?

_The thinly veiled insult decimates the peaceful look on Sammy’s face._

SAMMY: Um, they’re back at the catwalk. S-sorry.

_Jo groans._

LESHAWNA: Chillax. You can cut your hair later.

JO: Whatever. 

_She gets up and leaves the girls’ hut. At the bonfire pit, Jo makes herself at home on Sky’s lounge chair. She closes her eyes, attempting to make up for the lost sleep._

NOAH: [offscreen] Isn’t that Sky’s?

JO: What’s it to y- Woah!

_She opens her eyes and is taken aback by Noah’s appearance. As a result of spending over a week on an island with no electricity, his hair is longer and scruffier._

JO: Looking nice today, Frizzball.

NOAH: [sarcastically] You should see the other guy.

JO: Who, Brickface? Oh man, that’s gonna be funny.

_Noah rolls his eyes, unamused, and walks into the woods to scavenge for berries. That’s when Brick walks out. Conveniently, his back is turned to the camera._

BRICK: Salutations, Jo!

_Jo stares at him. Just stares._

JO: No.

_The camera finally shows us Brick’s face. Like Noah’s, his hair is noticeably scruffier. Unlike Noah, Brick also has a mustache._

BRICK: What? You don’t like it?

JO: Absolutely not. I’m not even _laughing_ at you, that’s how much I don’t like it.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: [yawns] Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to kiss a guy with a mustache. 

_Her eyes go wide when she processes what she’s just said._

JO: Delete that right now! I’m sleep deprived and not thinking straight! I’m gonna kill you if you air that! [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Okay, but what _is_ it like kissing a guy with a mustache? [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Overhyped, that’s what it is. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Flash forward about an hour. Noah is back from the woods with his berries. Brick has chivalrously cooked fish for the three girls and himself. Jo’s eyes are shut again. Sammy, Brick, and Leshawna are chatting._

_When TV switches on, Chris, still wearing his manbun, appears on screen. He immediately recoils in disgust._

CHRIS: Gag!

LESHAWNA: [annoyed] What’s that about, McLean?

CHRIS: If I had known you guys would be looking so rank, I would have arranged a hairstyling challenge!

_Jo opens one eye and chuckles._

JO: Says the guy in a _manbun_.

_Noah snickers._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: I hate Jo’s guts, but I will laugh at any and all jokes that poke fun at Chris McLean. [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: This look is _classy_. You five look like you’ve been marooned on a deserted island for a week.

BRICK: That’s because we have, sir.

CHRIS: Oh yeah. Right. [giggling] Anyways, I’m here to announce the next challenge! Your former-competitor-turned-host will be arriving in mere minutes.

LESHAWNA: Whose life are you putting on the line this time?

CHRIS: It’s a surprise, but it _is_ someone expendable. Honestly if he contracted a virus from doing this, I would celebrate!

SAMMY: That’s kinda awful.

CHRIS: What did you expect? Heheh.

_Jo yawns._

JO: Hey, remember when Brick and I won yesterday? We never got a reward for that.

CHRIS: [scowls] I _hate_ when people remember I owe them something. Fine. Your host-for-a-day will drop off protein shakes for you guys.

JO: Any caffeine in them?

CHRIS: How should I know? They might not even be legal.

_Brick looks mildly nervous. Jo shrugs._

JO: I’m fine with that.

_The sound of a distant motor halts any further conversation. The final five turn to the water. A small yacht pulls up next to the dock. There are two passengers: the bulky, bearded, redhead driver and the suave blonde wearing a designer mask._

SAMMY: Rodney? _Topher_? 

TOPHER: Samey! Long time, no see!

_Sammy’s eye twitches. Jo yawns._

JO: More dweebs from Pahkitew? Lame.

TOPHER: Man, you guys look like crap! Absolutely no skin care or hair care among the lot of you!

_Leshawna glares at him. Sammy and Brick are unsettled, Jo and Noah are apathetic. Chris grins at the tension._

CHRIS: Well, I hate to go, but I have a date with the spa. Again. Have fun you guys! 

_Cut to moments later. The final five stand on the dock and listen to Topher’s introduction. A tired Jo rests her free arm on Brick’s shoulder for balance. Sammy looks annoyed._

TOPHER: When Chris asked me to host an episode, I couldn’t believe it! Quarantine is just _so_ boring, but I’m willing to risk it all to pursue my dream! First things first, here’s the protein drinks for yesterday’s winners. Rather lame prizes, in my opinion, but that’s Chris for ya!

_Topher tosses two bottles to Brick. He catches both and offers one to Jo._

TOPHER: I bet you’re all wondering what today’s challenge is!

JO: No, I’m wondering what’s stopping me from throwing you into the bay and calling it a day.

TOPHER: The knowledge I’ll give everyone immunity except you?

JO: Whatever.

_She yawns. Topher keeps talking._

TOPHER: Today will be a quiz show! But not just any quiz show, oh no, I’m much better than that. It’ll be a water ski quiz show!

_Rodney throws five pairs of water skis onto the dock._

TOPHER: While Rodney tows us around the lake, I’ll be dishing out questions on any number of topics. If you buzz in and answer correctly, you earn a point. If you guess incorrectly, you simply must wait out one question before rejoining the game. 

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Finally, something I can actually win. See ya in the final four. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Flash forward to the start of the challenge. From left to right, Leshawna, Noah, Jo, Brick, and Sammy stand on their water skis. A red button sits on the end of each handle so the contestants can easily buzz in. Sammy smiles at Brick._

SAMMY: Good luck!

BRICK: And to you as well, soldier.

_On his other side, Jo scoffs._

JO: What, no luck for me?

BRICK: You don’t need any, Jo.

_Jo is taken aback, but she flashes a trademark smirk._

JO: You got that right.

TOPHER: [off screen] Campers, prepare for the first category: Total Drama Contestants!

_Sammy gasps in delight._

_Pan to Topher, who shuffles through his question cards._

TOPHER: Start the engine, Rodney!

RODNEY: Yessir!

_The boat accelerates, and the trivia tournament begins._

TOPHER: Question one! Name all six personalities-

_Brick buzzes in before the question ends._

BRICK: Mike, Chester, Svetlana, Vito, Manitoba Smith, and Mal!

TOPHER: The first point is awarded to Brick! Quick thinking, cadet!

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Of _course_ I know all of Mike’s personalities. Mike’s a good friend, and I make an effort to retain vital information about my friends! [END CONFESSIONAL]

TOPHER: Question two. Several contestants have mentioned their pets over the course of the show. Name any two of those pets.

_Sammy and Noah buzz in, but Sammy is faster._

SAMMY: Zoey’s hamster is Miss Puffycheeks and Jasmine’s cat is named Whiskers!

TOPHER: Correct! Point for Samey!

SAMMY: It’s _Sammy_.

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Total Drama was my escape for a _long_ time. Whenever Amy was driving me up the wall, I’d rewatch it. So yeah, heheh, I’m kinda good at contestant trivia. [END CONFESSIONAL]

JO: What the heck? How are any of us supposed to remember the names of people’s pets?

_Noah snickers._

NOAH: You sound like Duncan during the Total Drama Action finale.

JO: Can it, Pipsqueak.

TOPHER: Enough chit chat! Question three: which contestant has made it to the merge on all four season-

_Noah buzzes. He smiles wryly at Jo as he answers._

NOAH: Duncan.

TOPHER: One point for the Know-it-all!

_Jo angrily throws her protein drink at Noah. He screams and falls into the water. She laughs, and even Leshawna chuckles._

_The next shot shows Noah is back on his water skis, sopping wet._

TOPHER: Next question: who was eliminated in Paris-

_Leshawna excitedly buzzes in._

LESHAWNA: DJ!

TOPHER: Correct you are!

_A montage of the contestants’ answers ensues as the round progresses._

SAMMY: Harold.

BRICK: Anne Maria!

LESHAWNA: Nine.

NOAH: Eva.

LESHAWNA: Beth.

NOAH: Geoff and Alejandro.

NOAH: Jack the Ripper.

JO: Lightning?

SAMMY: Shawn!

LESHAWNA: _Heather_.

JO: Scott?

TOPHER: Nope! Zoey made it to the final three in both seasons, not Scott.

_Jo scowls. Topher claps politely._

TOPHER: Congratulations, contestants! You’ve made it to the end of round one!

_The contestants’ scores appear along the bottom of the frame as Topher talks._

TOPHER: Leshawna and Noah tie for first with four points. Close behind is Samey with three points. Brick has two, and Jo has a measly one. 

_Brick and Sammy high five. Noah offers Leshawna a high five as well, but she doesn’t accept it._

LESHAWNA: Two words: bee stings.

TOPHER: In this next section, we move away from Total Drama contestants and towards the wonderful world of geography!

LESHAWNA: This ain’t _school,_ white boy.

TOPHER: [cheerfully] No worries, Leshawna! Some of the questions are related to World Tour locations so you won’t be completely lost.

LESHAWNA: [sarcastically] Perfect. 

TOPHER: To start off, name the famous French beach where Allied forces were evacuated-

_Brick buzzes in._

BRICK: Dunkirk!

TOPHER: Right on!

LESHAWNA: How is _that_ related to World Tour?

TOPHER: I said _some_ of the questions. Not all. Hahah.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: I’d like to state for the record, I’m pretty sure this quiz game is rigged. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] TOPHER: I am _killing_ it with this hosting thing! If a pandemic is what it takes to get me on air, I say let’s extend this thing a couple more months! [END CONFESSIONAL]

TOPHER: In which country did Team Amazon sing “We Built Gwen’s Face?”

_Noah buzzes in before Leshawna._

NOAH: Sweden, duh.

TOPHER: Correct you are!

_A second montage follows._

BRICK: Lake Ontario!

SAMMY: Australia!

LESHAWNA: New York!

NOAH: Qatar.

JO: Hawaii.

BRICK: British Columbia!

BRICK: Waterloo!

NOAH: Great Britain.

NOAH: Tajikistan.

_An X appears over Noah’s face; he missed the question._

LESHAWNA: Egypt!

SAMMY: Easter Island!

JO: China!

TOPHER: Final question of this round! What is the name of the island we’re on right now?

_Four of the contestants look at each other, confusion evident on their faces. Noah, however, grins as he buzzes in._

NOAH: Chrisland, obviously.

TOPHER: And Noah finishes strong. 

BRICK: When were any of us told the island’s name is Chrisland?

LESHAWNA: That’s definitely bogus! 

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: Um, yeah, Chris told me about Chrisland back when I interned for him after Action. I made the connection a few days ago, but I didn’t mention it to anybody. Not like it’s life or death information. [END CONFESSIONAL]

TOPHER: Take it up with Chris, if you will. Now, let’s tally the scores.

_He winks at the camera; the mask obscures his blinding grin. Once again, the scores appear at the bottom of the screen._

TOPHER: Noah remains at the top with eight points! Brick takes second with seven, Leshawna has six, Sammy has five, and Jo has three. Isn’t this exciting?

_Noah smiles, content with his placement. Jo yawns. An annoyed Leshawna rolls her eyes, then gasps._

LESHAWNA: Where the heck are we?

TOPHER: I’m so glad you asked, Leshawna!

_The camera zooms out to show Rodney has steered them into a rough part of the bay. Jagged sea stacks jutt out of the water, and the waves get rougher. Sammy nervously steers right to avoid crashing into a rock._

TOPHER: This is the northern tip of the island. Chris specifically pointed it out to Rodney and me so we’d drive straight through the _highly dangerous_ sea stacks. Which brings me to my next point: if you take a dive into the water, you’re out! Your score will remain the same for the rest of the challenge. Time to kick this challenge up a notch!

_Everyone reacts in varying degrees of concern, annoyance, and horror._

SAMMY: You don’t have to do this, Topher! You don’t have to be as maniacal as Chris!

TOPHER: Samey, dear, you’re acting like I _care_ about your opinion! This is my world now and you’re living in it!

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: This guy is one purple ponytail away from goin’ off the deep end. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The direction shifts, and a rock narrowly misses impaling Noah._

NOAH: [panicked] Get on with the challenge!

TOPHER: Round three will harken back to Total Drama Action: it’s the movie trivia round!

JO: Bring it on!

TOPHER: Question one: What was the very first movie genre referenced in Action?

_Leshawna buzzes._

LESHAWNA: Monster movie!

TOPHER: Leshawna earns her seventh point, nice! Question two: What is the name of DJ’s favorite movie, which is named after a barnyard animal?

_Leshawna buzzes again._

LESHAWNA: Bob the Gallant Sheep!

TOPHER: Yes!

BRICK: Aww, that was a good movie!

JO: Did you cry?

BRICK: So what if I did?!

TOPHER: Which movie did Duncan and Gwen bond over during season one?

_Sammy buzzes in._

SAMMY: Bloodbath 2: Summer Camp Reign of Terror!

TOPHER: Correct!

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: You didn’t hear this from me, but when TDI first came out, Amy had the _biggest_ crush on Duncan! Almost makes me wish he had competed this season. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sammy pumps one fist in the air._

SAMMY: Yay me!

_Suddenly, a sea stack comes in out of nowhere, and Sammy crashes into it._

BRICK: Sammy!

JO: Brick don’t you _dare_ do it-

_Brick jumps off his water skis and swims back to help Sammy._

JO: _And_ he did it.

TOPHER: With two contestants in the water, only three remain in the running! Noah has nine points, and Leshawna has eight. And Jo, well, let’s just move on.

[CONFESSIONAL] JO: I’ll admit it- there’s no way am I winning a trivia contest against Brainiac and Leshawna. But mark my words, I’m not going down without a fight! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to Sammy and Brick, who are swimming back to the island together._

SAMMY: You didn’t have to come back for me, you know.

BRICK: It’s the code! Never leave a man behind, even if they are a capable swimmer. Plus, I wasn’t gonna win anyways.

SAMMY: Yeah, I guess Noah is kinda shoe-in.

BRICK: I bet the only way he could be stopped is if Leshawna answers two more, and Jo buzzes in on every other one so Noah doesn’t have the chance to answer! 

SAMMY: Yeah, but what are the odds of _that_ happening?

_They both stop swimming, look at each other, and then back at the boat in the distance._

_Cut back to the challenge. Topher runs a hand through his hair as he reads the next question._

TOPHER: Question four is a goodie. Which movie genre-?

_Jo buzzes immediately._

JO: Um, prison?

TOPHER: Nope! Owen broke his jaw in the _disaster_ movie challenge.

JO: [sarcastically] Oops.

TOPHER: What movie trilogy about vampires is Lindsay-

_Leshawna buzzes._

LESHAWNA: Obsessed with? It’s definitely Semidark.

TOPHER: Correct! Another point for Leshawna. Question six: Chris-

_Jo buzzes._

JO: Um, basketball!

TOPHER: [annoyed] No? Chris starred in a movie about _badminton_. 

NOAH: Let him read the stupid question!

JO: [smirking] I don’t think I will.

_Noah’s eyes widen; he’s figured out Jo’s plan._

NOAH: You’re a snake!

_Leshawna, part confused, part annoyed, looks from Noah to Jo and back again. Meanwhile, Topher coughs._

TOPHER: Noah and Leshawna are tied, and we’re onto the next question! The favorite movie of former contestant Scott is what 1978 comedy about a frat house?

_Everyone stares at him blankly._

TOPHER: No one? Really? Sheesh, it’s Animal House.

LESHAWNA: [dryly] Maybe keep the movies in _this_ generation, sugar.

TOPHER: Hey, I didn’t write these! Question eight: Ju-

_Jo buzzes. She yawns, Noah glares._

JO: Um, I dunno, fairy tales?

TOPHER: In a shocking turn of events, that is correct!

_Jo’s and Noah’s mouths drop open._

JO: Hey, I’m pretty good at this!

_Leshawna finally clues in, and her expression reflects her newfound understanding._

LESHAWNA: You’re throwin’ the game so Noah doesn’t win? I respect that.

_Noah groans._

TOPHER: Question nine: What-

_Jo buzzes._

JO: Heavy metal.

TOPHER: Nope. Answer was mystery movies.

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: If Jo thinks that she can ruin my shot at immunity, she’s got another thing coming. I’m going to do something bold: sabotage. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Noah points at something over Jo’s shoulder._

NOAH: Look! Brick and Sammy are drowning!

JO: Where?!

_She looks to where Noah points. When her head is turned, Noah veers in next to Jo and rams his tiny body into her. Tired and distracted, Jo surprisingly falls into the water. When she resurfaces, she sputters angrily._

JO: You are so _dead_ , Brainiac!

_Noah chuckles._

LESHAWNA: You just pushed a girl with a _broken arm_ into the water?

NOAH: It’s nothing personal, just a little revenge. 

TOPHER: [excitedly] Oh la la, what drama! What theatrics! What-

LESHAWNA: _What_ is the next question?

TOPHER: Oh, right. 

_There is one final montage of answers._

LESHAWNA: Master of the Spheres!

NOAH: Blanca Casa.

LESHAWNA: Space!

NOAH: Overcast with a Chance of Meatwads.

NOAH: Western.

NOAH: Bank heist.

TOPHER: And that’s a rap, folks! With thirteen points, Noah wins the challenge and immunity!

NOAH: [deadpan] Woo hoo.

LESHAWNA: Are we gonna go get the others?

TOPHER: Nah. I’m sure they’ll get back to camp eventually. Bring us back to the dock, Rodney!

RODNEY: Yessir!

_Flash forward to later in the day, where everyone is back at camp. Brick, Jo, and Sammy are all still damp from their swims in the lake. The five contestants sit around the bonfire. Rodney is sleeping on the boat, and Topher approaches with a striped bag in hand._

TOPHER: Since we have time to kill before one of you get eliminated tonight, does anyone want a haircut? I brought my makeup bag with me, and trust me when I say you _all_ could use a touch-up.

_Leshawna, Noah, and Brick all shrug._

LESHAWNA: Yeah sure, why not.

NOAH: Whatever.

BRICK: Go nuts, private.

JO: No way are you cutting _my_ hair.

_She gets up and stalks away. Topher snips his scissors together._

TOPHER: Alright, who’s ready for a once-in-a-lifetime experience?

_Flash forward to later. Jo sits against a tree and sharpens a stick by striking it against a rock. Brick, mustache-less thanks to Topher, strolls into the clearing._

BRICK: There you are! I was wondering where you’d gotten off to.

JO: So we can’t vote out Noah. I’m thinking Leshawna, then. She’s clearly our biggest threat.

BRICK: Leshawna? But she’s so nice! And helpful! She does my laundry!

_Jo glares at him._

JO: I’ll _never_ understand how you got so friendly with everyone here, but get it through your head- this is the final five. You don’t have the luxury of voting for people you hate.

BRICK: Both Leshawna and Sammy have been excellent competitors, not to mention friends!

JO: Well your only other option is me. [narrows eyes] Are you gonna vote for me?

BRICK: No ma’am. I wouldn’t dream of it.

_Jo decides her stick is sharp enough and she holds it up to her hair._

JO: Leshawna it is, then. Glad we had this talk.

BRICK: Do you want me to do that for you?

_Jo sighs and hands over the stick._

JO: Stop being so accommodating, Jarhead.

BRICK: I’m simply looking out for a friend.

_Jo yawns._

BRICK: Why _are_ you so tired, anyways?

JO: Probably the arm. Definitely no other reason.

BRICK: Are you sure?

JO: If you’re trying to get some grand declaration of affection out of me because I’m tired and annoyed, it’s not gonna work. Not in front of these cameras, anyways.

_She gestures at the camera drone that knows all and sees all. Brick turns red and starts cutting her hair faster._

_Cut to Sammy and Leshawna. Leshawna’s hair is once more at its usual length. Sammy folds her laundry while Leshawna skewers fish._

LESHAWNA: I’m voting Jo tonight; you?

_Sammy chuckles nervously._

SAMMY: I haven’t decided yet.

_Leshawna raises an eyebrow._

LESHAWNA: You’re telling me you’re having trouble deciding between Jo or _me_? ‘Cause I know you ain’t voting Brick.

SAMMY: I, um, well…

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: I _know_ this should be an easy decision. Leshawna is the _best_ , and Jo is kinda abrasive and snappish. But I dunno. Brick would be sad if she left. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut back to Jo and Brick. Brick finishes cutting Jo’s hair, and he puts the stick down._

BRICK: Well then, can _I_ make a grand declaration of affection?

_Now Jo turns red and turns around to face him._

JO: What? No! You are forbidden from making any declaration of affection.

BRICK: How ‘bout after the campfire ceremony?

JO: How ‘bout I _order_ you not to do anything like that?

BRICK: I’m afraid I’ll have to disregard that order.

_Brick grins at her. They stare at each other for a moment, then Jo stands up._

JO: I’m getting out of here before this gets any weirder.

BRICK: Aw, Jo!

_Cut to Topher taking selfies on the dock. Noah walks up to him, clearly bored._

NOAH: So your parents let you break what appears to be a very strict quarantine?

TOPHER: You think my parents know I’m here? Haha, _no_. I told them not to disturb me during my 24-hour Chris McLean movie marathon! 

_He waves at the camera._

TOPHER: Hey mom, hey dad! Sorry you had to find out like this.

_Noah rolls his eyes and walks off to find some more stimulating conversation._

_Flash forward to the campfire ceremony. It’s nighttime. Leshawna, Sammy, and Jo sit on the lounge chairs. Brick and Noah sit on rocks beside them. On the opposite side of the circle, Rodney and Topher sit and stare at them._

_The TV switches on, and Chris grins._

CHRIS: Greetings, contestants! And my expendable host. You did pretty decent today, Topher. Of course, I woulda done it better, but we can’t all be _me_.

_Topher salutes Chris._

TOPHER: I’m looking forward to running this show after you pass away.

_Chris raises an eyebrow._

CHRIS: Little morbid, but okay.

_He turns to the five competitors._

CHRIS: Anywho, tonight there will be a _twist_! Bet ya didn’t see that coming, did ya?

_Sammy gasps. Everyone else stays silent, but trepidation is etched across their faces._

CHRIS: I withheld it from Topher so he wouldn’t accidentally leak it and spoil the _tension_ of tonight’s vote. And boy oh boy, will this be a doozy!

LESHAWNA: Man, just spit it out!

CHRIS: _Fine_ , Leshawna! Tonight’s winner will cast the sole vote of the ceremony.

_Both Noah’s and Jo’s eyes go wide._

NOAH: You mean, I get to choose who goes home?

CHRIS: Yepperoni! Feel free to draw it out as _long_ as you’d like.

_Noah stands up and surveys everyone else. Despite the turn of events, his tone remains neutral, almost as if he’s speaking to a confessional booth._

NOAH: Wow. I’ve never held this much power in the game. Ever. I feel like a Courtney or a Scott right now. Heck, maybe even an Alejandro.

SAMMY: We’re friends, right, Noah?

NOAH: You’re delusional if you think you’re anything but safe, Sammy.

_He points at Jo and Brick._

NOAH: I’ve had it out for these two since Owen went home.

[CONFESSIONAL] CHRIS: [in his mansion bathroom] See, there was a _reason_ I hired this kid to be my intern. The reason being, in the right circumstances, he’s one of the most dramatic people _ev-ah_! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Jo and Brick exchange twin looks of fear._

NOAH: Yeah, it’s gonna be Jo. No question.

_Jo stands up angrily._

JO: I’m not going! You can’t make me go!

CHRIS: I figured something like this would happen. Oh Rodney!

_Rodney walks over and picks up an angry Jo._

CHRIS: The good news is, you don’t have to take the Helicopter of Peril tonight! You can return home with Topher and Rodney on their boat!

_Jo starts hitting Rodney’s shoulder with her free hand._

JO: Put me _down_ , Paul Bunyan! I’m not done here!

_Rodney turns and looks at her, and something sparkles in his eyes. He grins dreamily. Sammy recognizes the look and sighs._

SAMMY: Oh no.

BRICK: Hey! You’re not allowed to have a crush on her!

RODNEY: When we, treetop, you and Pluto. Love is like a boat.

TOPHER: C’mon, Rodney, I wanna get back before my parents realize I’m not home.

_Rodney, Topher, and an irate Jo walk to the dock. Brick and Noah follow, Noah to gloat and Brick to say goodbye._

BRICK: At least you can get your arm properly looked at!

_Jo sits in the back of the boat with Topher. She is peeved._

JO: Dude, that does not even _compare_ to winning a million dollars!

BRICK: Can I make that grand declar-

JO: Absolutely not!

_Rodney starts the engine, and they drive away. Brick salutes._

BRICK: [shouting] Semper fi!

JO: [shouting back] Someone’s gonna semper _die_.

_Her voice trails off as the boat fades into the distance. Brick frowns. Noah pats him on the shoulder._

NOAH: If it’s any consolation, you’ll join her after the next challenge.

_Noah walks away. The lost-puppy look on Brick’s face has morphed into one of terror._

_Cut back to Chris in his mansion._

CHRIS: Welp, Topher is still healthy, _sadly_ , and Jo is gone. We now have our final four! How will Noah’s threats hold up? Who will be eliminated next? Find out on the next episode of Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Voting:  
> Noah- Jo
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey, Owen, Amy, Lightning, Sky, Jo
> 
> A/N: I like that we live in a world where Jo can cut her hair with a stick, break her arm falling off a roof, but survive being flushed into Egypt by a giant toilet. That’s cartoon logic for ya. Anyways, I'm sad to see Jo go; I've really come to like her over the past month of writing this fic. But you'll see her again, eventually. :) Oh yeah, and all the favorite movies mentioned were taken from the contestant biographies on the wiki, and they're all parodies of actual movies.


	11. Episode 11: Back to Slide One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final four are tasked with another construction challenge. Chef gets bored and intervenes. Noah is dramatic and reveals a truth about the island.

_The opening shot shows Chris snorkeling in his swimming pool. He flashes a smile at the camera before swimming to the surface._

CHRIS: On the last episode of Total Drama Quarantine!

_Cut to a shot of all five campers standing on the beach._

CHRIS: Our kids were looking a little worse for wear.

_Topher and Rodney arrive on the boat._

CHRIS: Luckily, former contestant Topher was here to touch them up, but more importantly, to lead the next challenge.

_Cut to a shot of the final five skiing as Topher reads out questions._

CHRIS: The kids went ski to ski during a trivia match!

_Cut to shots of Leshawna, Brick, and Sammy answering questions._

CHRIS: Leshawna, Brick and Sammy proved they knew a _lot..._

_Jo throws her protein shake at Noah, and he falls into the ocean._

CHRIS: But despite interference from Jo, Noah won immunity.

_Cut to Rodney carrying Jo to the boat while Brick follows behind._

CHRIS: And Brick might have confessed his feelings if Noah hadn’t used his power to kick off the blonde powerhouse. Too bad, so sad.

_Cut back to Chris. He smirks at the camera._

CHRIS: Ready for more? We’re down to four! Find out who goes home next right now on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_Leshawna lounges at the fire circle and eats a freshly cooked fish. A few moments later, Brick jogging into frame. He salutes Leshawna, and she waves back._

LESHAWNA: Mornin’, dude. How was the run?

BRICK: Admittedly different. But make no mistake, I still enjoyed the exercise!

LESHAWNA: Mmm. Sammy’s out gatherin’ berries, and Noah’s asleep or whatever.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I don’t know _what_ was goin’ on with Brick and Jo, and frankly, it’s none of _my_ business. I got this far by keeping my head down and avoiding the drama. Except that business with Noah and the _bees_ , but hey, that’s between _him_ and _me._ [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: I know Jo is fuming that I got farther than her. And I have to admit, I got this far by voting with her in most elimination ceremonies while maintaining my cadet code. Jo and I never made an official alliance, but it helped me out a lot. Thanks, Jo! Looks like _teamwork_ is payin’ off. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sammy returns with a bag of berries and nuts at her side._

SAMMY: Hey guys. Anyone want some freshly picked berries?

BRICK: Yes, ma’am!

LESHAWNA: Sure, honey.

_Sammy takes some berries and passes the bag to Leshawna and Brick._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Wow, the final four! That’s loads better than how I did on Pahkitew. I think I got this far by being nice, you know? Everyone voted out Amy because she was such a _jerk_ , but I made friends and did my best in the challenges. I don’t think I would have done as well if we were stuck on the same teams again. Thanks for accidentally putting us on separate teams, Leshawna! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_As the three are eating, Noah walks out in his pajamas._

NOAH: Any food left for me?

_Brick eyes him warily. Sammy smiles hesitantly._

SAMMY: Sure. Help yourself.

_Noah sits next to her and accepts a handful of berries. Everyone is silent as they eat._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: If they want to treat me like the bad guy, then so be it. I have a _goal_ , and I’ve accomplished two thirds of that goal. Anyways, I have to admit I wouldn’t have made it this far if Owen hadn’t gone home before the merge. Miss ya, Big Guy. Hey, have the casting agents from Instant Influenza called us back yet? [END CONFESSIONAL]

_As they eat, Chef’s helicopter zooms overhead. The final four watch as it deposits several crates onto the western front of the beach before leaving. As the hum of the helicopter fades into the distance, Noah swallows some berries._

NOAH: Back to our regularly scheduled programming, I see.

_On cue, the TV switches on. Chris beams at them._

CHRIS: Hello, final four! I trust Chef just dropped off the supplies for today’s challenge?

BRICK: Yes, sir!

CHRIS: Good! For the first challenge, you will have to _race_ to the supplies. First one who arrives gets to open the smallest crate, but _only_ the smallest crate. Got all that?

_Brick salutes. Leshawna and Sammy nod. Noah shrugs._

NOAH: I don’t suppose I get a reward for yesterday, do I?

CHRIS: I’m gonna be honest, I don’t care enough anymore.

NOAH: Typical.

CHRIS: Any _other_ questions?

SAMMY: Um, are we gonna have a normal vote tonight? Or is it gonna be another weird one like the last two?

CHRIS: Normal vote tonight, and that’s a Chris McLean promise! Now shut up and get running!

_The TV turns off. Leshawna, Brick, and Sammy immediately start running down the beach. Noah stands up, yawns, and jogs half-heartedly after._

[CONFESSIONAL] NOAH: An opportunity to vote off Brick will present itself, but no way am I beating anyone in a footrace. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the first three, who are more or less even. Brick has a slight lead, while Leshawna and Sammy vie for second place._

SAMMY: Does it even matter who wins? It’s just one tiny crate.

_Leshawna takes the lead in front of both Brick and Sammy before she responds._

LESHAWNA: With Chris, who knows? But this late in the game, I’m going all-in all the time.

_Cut back to Noah. He whistles as he jogs lightly._

_Cut back to the trio that’s actually trying to win the footrace. The end goal, four large crates and the one small, is in sight. Brick grins confidently._

BRICK: Well, ma’ams, I’m gonna go ahead and win this challenge. Good luck!

_He sprints ahead. Leshawna and Sammy hurry to catch up, but it’s no use. Brick picks up the small crate and pries it open._

SAMMY: What’s inside?

_Brick takes out a drone. It’s identical to the camera drones that have been following them around thus far; however, this one is silver instead of black._

BRICK: Another drone?

_As Noah approaches, the drone lifts out of Brick’s hands and hovers in midair. It projects a 3D holographic image onto the beach, specific a hologram of-_

CHRIS: Hey guys! Like the new ‘fit?

LESHAWNA: Impressive.

SAMMY: If you had the technology for a hologram, why didn’t you use it all along?

_The Chris hologram glares at her._

CHRIS: Because I didn’t _feel_ like it. 

_He resumes his usual ‘amicable host’ posture._

CHRIS: Since Brick got here first, he gets first pick of supplies! 

BRICK: Supplies for what?

_Chris’ generic smile broadens into a devious grin._

CHRIS: Just pick a crate, and you’ll find out in a moment!

_Brick looks at his four options. They’re all roughly similar in shape and size. He points at the one farthest left._

BRICK: I’ll take this one!

CHRIS: Excellent. Leshawna, you’re next.

_Leshawna shrugs and steps next to the crate closest to her._

LESHAWNA: Whateva.

CHRIS: Sammy?

_Sammy walks over to the crate farthest right._

CHRIS: That leaves the last crate for Noah.

_Noah doesn’t make a sound as he walks over and stands next to his crate._

CHRIS: Awesome. Now, before you open your crate, I’d advise you to spread out. _Why_? Because for today's challenge, you four will be building _waterslides_!

LESHAWNA: Are you kidding me? We already had that bridge building challenge ages ago. 

NOAH: Isn’t it obvious? He-

CHRIS: _Shush_! I don’t want to hear a complaint out of you four. Pick a spot on the beach and get building. You should have everything you need in your boxes. And if you don’t? Make up something, I don’t care. Now get to _work_!

_Flash forward a few minutes. The contestants have spread out on the beach: Sammy furthest north, Brick below her, Leshawna below him, and finally Noah furthest south._

_A close-up of Noah reveals his crate contains glittery pink plastic tubes. He sighs._

NOAH: All this neon but no instructions. Whelp.

_Cut to Brick, who confidently uses a wrench to screw in a bolt. His slide is a dark green color. He whistles as he works. Suddenly, the bolt falls into the sand._

BRICK: Aw, nuts!

_He picks up the bolt and puts it back in place. After a few seconds, the bolt falls again._

BRICK: Come on! Just stay in place!

_He slides the bolt back into its spot, but once more it slips out._

BRICK: Argh!

_Cut to Sammy. She holds a roll of duct tape in one hand; in the other, she holds a curved piece of purple plastic._

SAMMY: Chris _had_ to cheap out and give me tape? For realsies?

_The hologram Chris pops up behind her._

CHRIS: Insulting me behind my back, I see.

_Sammy screams and drops the plastic._

SAMMY: Chris! Let me work!

CHRIS: [chuckles] Now I can respond to your grumbles and complaints real time! I should’ve thought of this earlier!

_Sammy rips off a piece of duct tape and attempts to tape it over Chis’ mouth, However, he is a hologram, so instead she misses and trips into the sand._

SAMMY: Aw...

_Chris snickers._

_Cut to Leshawna. She holds up a large blueprint and squints at it._

LESHAWNA: Now where the heck is any of this s’pposed to go?

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Two years ago, I spent a few weeks volunteering with Homes for Humanity. Built a house, in record time! But building a house with dozens of other volunteers is _waaay_ different from building a waterslide by yourself in eight hours. [END CONFESSIONAL]

LESHAWNA: I guess I gotta start with the basics.

_She reaches into her crate and pulls out several wooden rods._

_The shot zooms out to reveal Chris is watching the footage from his mansion. He laughs at Leshawna’s confusion. Behind him, Chef is reading a magazine. Suddenly, he throws down the magazine and grumbles._

CHEF: I’m bored of this quarantine! All I do is drop off crates and collect those bratty teens!

CHRIS: Uh, _yeah_ dude. Would you rather be self isolating with your parents or the best roommate slash host _evah_?

_Chef rolls his eyes._

CHEF: Can we order takeout?

CHRIS: Why would we order takeout when _you_ can make some food for us?

_Chef rolls his eyes and leaves the room._

_Cut back to Brick. He’s finally figured out how to properly screw in a bolt and is making significant strides in finishing his waterslide._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: This isn’t so different than that bridge challenge! Except I had a team then, and now I’m alone… Well, the harder the adversity, the more satisfying the victory! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Meanwhile, Leshawna huffs and puffs as she props up a large sheet of metal against her crate. As soon as she steps back to examine her work, the sheet slides off and crashes onto the beach. Leshawna glares at it._

LESHAWNA: Stay still, you useless hunk of scrap metal!

_Cut back to Chef and Chris in the mansion. Chris is eating mac and cheese._

_The sun rises in the sky. Hologram Chris is watching Sammy duct tape pieces of her slide together._

CHRIS: It’s been three hours, and I gotta say it. This is _kinda_ boring.

_Sammy rolls her eyes and keeps working._

CHRIS: Maybe I should bring Amy back. That would definitely increase ratings, amiright?

SAMMY: [forcefully] No!

_Hologram Chris giggles._

CHRIS: Wasn’t planning on it. We’re on a schedule here!

_The scene shifts from hologram Chris to real Chris in the mansion. Behind Chris, Chef eats a bowl of mac and cheese._

CHRIS: Hey dude, you still bored?

CHEF: Yeah. Why can’t we actually _use_ the bowling alley you have in the basement?

CHRIS: Because I have a _better_ idea!

_He chuckles deviously. Chef rolls his eyes._

_Cut back to the beach. Noah’s hot pink slide is coming along pretty well, even without the instructions. As he screws a bolt into the rung of a ladder, a ping pong ball hits him in the face._

NOAH: Ow!

_He looks up and glares. The shot zooms out to reveal Chef is the culprit. A ping pong ball cannon is attached to the bottom of his helicopter._

CHEF: It’s _torture time_ , sucka!

_He pelts Noah with several more ping pong balls._

NOAH: [sarcastically] Wow, thanks!

_Chef maneuvers so he’s now flying above Leshawna, and he begins pelting her with ping pong balls._

LESHAWNA: Ack!

_She ducks beneath her half-built metal waterslide. The ping pongs hit the metal, and it shutters before collapsing. Leshawna ducks out of the way and avoids being crushed._

LESHAWNA: [furiously] _Chef_!

CHEF: Now _this_ , this ain’t boring!

_He moves on to torture Sammy. Several balls hit her. She grimaces._

SAMMY: Can you cut it out please?

CHEF: No can do!

_He chuckles and increases the onslaught. Sammy’s grimace morphs into a glare, and she chucks her roll of duct tape at Chef._

SAMMY: _Agh_!

CHEF: Woah!

_Amazingly, the duct tape hits the barrel of the ping pong cannon. The impact leaves a dent._

_Chef tries to fire another barrage, but the dented barrel prevents any shots from being fired._

CHEF: Hey! You broke my cannon!

SAMMY: You almost broke my _back_ with those dumb ping pong balls!

_Chef grumbles._

CHEF: I’m outta here. Gonna go make some mac and cheese.

_He flies away. Sammy sighs as she watches him go._

BRICK: [offscreen] Sammy!

_He walks on screen and watches the helicopter fade into the distance._

BRICK: Thanks for diverting Chef before he could attack _me_.

SAMMY: Heh, no problem. Too bad I just lost my only way of constructing my slide.

_She gestures to the half-built slide behind them. It looks… not good._

BRICK: I just finished my slide. Would you like to borrow my wrench?

SAMMY: Yes please! Building things isn’t really my strong suit.

BRICK: Guess we should take ‘construction work’ off your possible careers list?

_Sammy laughs._

SAMMY: Yep.

_They walk off to retrieve the wrench. Cut over to Leshawna, who watches them with worry._

LESHAWNA: [to herself] They better not be teamin’ up. 

_She looks the other way. Noah is dutifully working on his waterslide._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I thought about it, and I ain’t teaming with Noah. You disrespect Leshawna, you don’t get that option. [shrugs] I’ll forgive him _after_ I’ve won my million dollars. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Flash forward another five hours. Hologram Chris beams at the camera._

CHRIS: Time is _up_ , campers! Let’s see what you four managed to build!

_He first walks up to Noah’s waterslide. The enclosed pink tubes twist and coil around each other, creating a very complex design._

CHRIS: It’s kinda small. What if Owen wanted to take a spin on it?

NOAH: _You_ were the one who gave me teeny tiny tubes.

CHRIS: Fair _enough_. 

_He walks away from Noah’s slide and looks at Leshawna’s._

CHRIS: And how has Leshawna done on hers?

_Leshawna’s plain metal slide has some curvature, but not as much as Noah’s. Its most notable feature is its tall spiral staircase._

CHRIS: After Chef destroyed your hard work, you certainly managed to put it all back together.

LESHAWNA: It was easier the second time.

_A ladder rung breaks and falls into the sand._

LESHAWNA: Um...

_Chris snickers as he walks away._

CHRIS: We’ll see how you do. Moving on, we have _Sammy’s_ waterslide!

_Sammy’s purple slide is not as tall as Leshawna’s or windy as Noah’s. Tape holds the bottom of the slide together; the sturdier top is bolted with nuts and screws._

SAMMY: Um, it’s not the prettiest, but I did the best with what I could.

CHRIS: As Amy would say, ‘oh my _gag._ ’

SAMMY: You’re the one who gave me tape!

CHRIS: What can I say? You should have sabotaged Leshawna or Brick or somethin’. Next!

_Sammy glares at him as Chris walks away to judge Brick’s slide. Brick grins proudly in front of his slide._

BRICK: I like to think I did a decent job if I do say so myself.

_The slide is wide, straight, and steeply sloped. It almost looks as if a large sewer drain has been chopped in half and positioned diagonally. The hologram Chris considers it and strokes his chin thoughtfully._

CHRIS: Not bad. Kinda bland, but that’s fine.

_The other three contestants walk on screen. Leshawna folds her arms._

LESHAWNA: How can you critique the designs of the slides when you were the one who gave us all the materials?

CHRIS: _Shush_ , please. What I say, goes!

NOAH: And who do you say has _won_ this competition?

CHRIS: Noah, Noah, Noah, you have _completely_ misread the situation!

_Noah exchanges glances with Sammy and Leshawna._

SAMMY: Um. What.

CHRIS: Now that all four slides are built, we can move onto the second part of the challenge. You will each be riding the waterslide of another competitor!

_The contestants look at each other, assessing the situation._

BRICK: Sir, do we get to _choose_ our slides?

CHRIS: Nope! I’ve already figured out how this is gonna go. Brick, you will take Sammy’s slide. Sammy will be on Leshawna’s. Leshawna will have Noah’s, and Noah will ride on Brick’s!

NOAH: What’s the objective here?

CHRIS: The first person to successfully ride their assigned slide three times wins immunity!

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I’ve been in several dumb challenges before, but _this_ takes the cake. Easy peasy! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to a wide shot of every contestant standing at the base of their assigned waterslide. Everyone has changed into their swimsuit. Hologram Chris stands in the center of the beach, between Sammy’s and Leshawna’s slides._

CHRIS: Ready?

_Sammy tenses up, ready to run up the ladder._

CHRIS: Set!

_Leshawna purses her lips._

CHRIS: Go! 

_The shot first follows Brick easily climbing Sammy’s ladder. When he gets to the top, he gulps._

BRICK: Let’s hope that tape doesn’t let me down!

_He enters the slide._

_Cut to Noah at the top of Brick’s open slide._

NOAH: Piece of cake. 

_He sits down and pushes off. Noah quickly slides down the steep slide until he reaches the bottom. Instead of splashing into the water, the velocity causes him to arc into the air._

NOAH: Aaaaah!

_He flies off camera and splashes down, presumably far from shore._

CHRIS: Ouchies! Guess Noah didn’t weigh enough for that ride! Speaking of weight...

_The camera cuts over to Leshawna. She’s at the top of Noah’s slide, and she glares at Chris._

LESHAWNA: Don’t say a _single_ word, McLean!

CHRIS: [off screen] What’s wrong, Leshawna? 

LESHAWNA: You know dang well what’s wrong! This kiddie slide ain’t big enough for me!

CHRIS: [off screen] Oops. Oh look, Sammy _finally_ made it to the top of her slide!

_Cut to Sammy. She’s panting after running up Leshawna’s staircase._

SAMMY: Welp, here goes nothing!

_She hops onto the metal waterslide and lands in the water with an uneventful splash. Sammy grins._

SAMMY: That was kinda fun!

CHRIS: Ugh. _Next_!

_Cut to Brick. He’s back at the top of his waterslide, and his hair is wet._

BRICK: Round two, here we go!

_Brick enters the slide. He’s about halfway down when suddenly the duct tape gives way, and the bottom half of the slide falls down with him inside._

BRICK: Aaah!

_Chris giggles._

CHRIS: Looks like this private has landed himself in a pickle!

BRICK: How am I supposed to complete the challenge if the slide’s busted?

CHRIS: I dunno… fix it?

_Brick’s face hardens with determination. He runs over to Sammy’s crate and grabs a wrench._

_Meanwhile, Leshawna is halfway through Noah’s waterslide and struggling the whole way._

LESHAWNA: [muffled from inside the slide] Oof. Ah! Ow!

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I take it back. This challenge was dumb, but it _wasn’t_ easy peasy. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Finally, Leshawna squeezes through the end of the tube and lands in the water._

CHRIS: Leshawna is finally done with round one! Will she be able to squeeze through four more times?

_Leshawna balls her fists together in rage. Hologram Chris simply smiles._

CHRIS: And how is Noah doing?

_The camera pans out to the water. Noah is still several yards from shore, and the swimming is wearing him out._

CHRIS: That’s rough.

_A montage of each contestants’ struggles ensues._

_Sammy struggles to run up the stairs a second time._

_Brick hammers away, trying to stabilize the waterslide enough for him to ride it._

_Leshawna grimaces as she squeezes into the tube again._

_Noah finally washes up on shore. He shoves several pounds of bolts into his pockets and goes down Brick’s waterslide again. Noah doesn’t fly as far as last time, but he does immediately sink to the seabed._

_Brick finishes his quick fixes on Sammy’s slide and climbs back on the ladder._

BRICK: Woohoo!

_He successfully drops into the ocean. Hologram Chris turns to the camera and grins._

CHRIS: Sammy, Brick, and Noah are tied at two a piece! Will Leshawna _ever_ catch up?

_Leshawna squeezes out of the waterslide at that very moment._

_Cut to Sammy. She walks up the staircase. Suddenly, one of the stairs breaks under her._

SAMMY: Ah!

_Her stumble gives Brick a chance to take the lead. He gets to the top of the waterslide at the same time Noah gets back to the beach. Noah gasps._

NOAH: [shouting] Brick! Sammy needs your help!

_Brick falls for the bait and whips his head around to look at Sammy._

BRICK: Sammy? You okay?

_Sammy reaches the top of the staircase._

SAMMY: Yeah, I’m good now!

_They descend the waterslides at the same time._

CHRIS: It’s neck and neck! Who’s gonna _win_ this?

_Sammy splashes down a millisecond before Brick does._

CHRIS: Sammy reaches the water first and _wins_ immunity!

SAMMY: I won? Really? Yay!

CHRIS: The rest of you kinda stink. Head back to camp or whatever. _I_ am going bowling with Chef.

_The hologram Chris disappears. Brick and Sammy wave at each other in the water. Leshawna is halfway through Noah’s waterslide and she groans. Noah sighs._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Winning immunity is so exciting! Now I’m _definitely_ not a loser. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Back at camp, Brick and Noah are drying off in the guys’ hut._

NOAH: So, are you voting out Leshawna? She’s clearly the most experienced competitor here.

BRICK: Um, I was probably going to vote for you. You _did_ threaten to kick me off yesterday.

_Noah chuckles._

NOAH: Okay, and Jo threatened to vote you out a billion times, and look how _that_ turned out.

_As expected, Brick turns red._

BRICK: That’s different! She-

NOAH: Plugging my ears now. Don’t care.

_He plugs his ears and struts out of the hut to do who-knows-what. Brick scratches his head._

_Cut to the girls’ hut. Leshawna squeezes the excess water out of her hair. Sammy smiles as she puts her boots on._

LESHAWNA: So, votin’ Noah?

SAMMY: Yep. Definitely

LESHAWNA: Nice.

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: I like everyone here! Leshawna, Noah, and Brick are so nice to me! But if I have to vote out the person who’s the biggest threat to my game, I know what I have to do. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Cut to the campfire ceremony. The fire flickers as the TV screen lights up._

CHRIS: It’s time to vote, campers!

SAMMY: Why don’t you just use the hologram instead of the TV?

CHRIS: Oh yeah, I don’t have pants on.

_Sammy makes a face but she turns to vote. Everyone casts their vote easily._

CHRIS: And the votes are in! Everyone stand up! Except for Sammy, I guess, ‘cause she won immunity.

_Sammy smiles as the other three stand up._

CHRIS: The following player may sit. Brick.

_Brick sits down. Sammy salutes him, and he returns the gesture._

CHRIS: Wow, two classic competitors, eh? Tsk tsk tsk.

LESHAWNA: Just get on with this, Chris. 

CHRIS: And the eliminated contestant is…

_Leshawna’s calm expression slips for just a moment._

_Noah purses his lips._

_They glance at each other._

_Sammy and Brick look back and forth at Noah and Leshawna._

CHRIS: Noah. You’re donezo, buddy.

NOAH: Aw, come _on_.

BRICK: You played a good game, soldier.

SAMMY: I’ll miss you, Noah.

_Chef’s helicopter arrives._

NOAH: Well, ya know, at least I made it past the merge this time.

_He walks over to the rope ladder but makes no move to climb it._

NOAH: And in case it wasn’t _obvious_ , Chris is developing this island into a resort. 

LESHAWNA: Come again?

NOAH: That’s why the mess hall was so nice, why that random patio appeared out of nowhere, and why he kept making us build bridges and stuff as challenges.

BRICK: You’re saying he used us for cheap labor?

NOAH: Essentially.

CHEF: [offscreen] Stop spilling secrets and get on the _ladder_ , boy! I ain’t got all night!

NOAH: Well, I accomplished two thirds of my goal, and that’s gotta count for something. 

_He steps onto the ladder. Chef immediately flies away. Noah screams for the entire ride._

_As the chopper fades into the distance, the final three look at each other and smile._

_Cut to Chris in his mansion._

CHEF: And then there were three! And a friendly three at that. _Yuck._ How are things supposed to be dramatic if everybody likes each other? 

_He sighs._

CHEF: Looks like I've got my work cut out for me. Stay tuned as Leshawna, Brick, and Sammy battle it out for the million dollars! Catch you next time on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Votes:  
> Noah- Leshawna  
> Leshawna- Noah  
> Brick- Noah  
> Sammy- Noah
> 
> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey, Owen, Amy, Lightning, Sky, Jo, Noah
> 
> Next chapter will focus on the eliminated contestants. :)


	12. Episode 12: The One with the Party Crashers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We catch up with the ten booted contestants who have traded the Playa de Los Losers for Chris' basement. One loser goes missing, and the remaining nine reluctantly sneak out to rescue them.

_The opening shot follows Chef’s helicopter as it flies across the mainland. Noah struggles to climb up the rope ladder, but eventually, he claws his way into the backseat of the chopper._

CHEF: [surprised] You got up here, kid?

NOAH: [winded] Yeah? What, did everyone else get tossed around on the bottom of that ladder for the entire trip?

CHEF: Uh…

_Noah sighs._

NOAH: Where exactly are you taking me, anyways?

_Chef chuckles._

CHEF: You’ll see.

_Flash forward a few minutes. Chef arrives at his destination: a large metal funnel that sticks out of the ground._

NOAH: What the heck is that?

CHEF: It’s where _you_ get _off._

NOAH: And you’re not gonna give me a choice in the matter?

CHEF: Nope.

_Noah sighs._

NOAH: Fine.

_He jumps out of the helicopter and disappears into the funnel, screaming._

_~Theme song plays~_

_The next scene shows a rather plain grey room. On one wall of the room is the ending of a chute. Nine familiar teens surround the chute, waiting._

ZOEY: Any last minute guesses?

AMY: Why do we need to _guess_? It’s obviously gonna be Samey!

LIGHTNING: Sha-no way! Skinnyboy is definitely overdue for an elimination!

JO: Oh, I _hear_ that.

HAROLD: As long as Leshawna stays in the game, I’ll be satisfied.

LINDSAY: Yeah, I _totally_ agree.

_A muffled shout silences everyone. Two seconds later, a dazed Noah tumbles through the chute and lands at Owen’s feet._

AMY: Samey skimped out on elimination _again_? This is so unfair!

_She stomps off as Owen scoops Noah up into a bear-hug._

OWEN: Noah!

NOAH: [strained] Hey, Big Guy!

OWEN: Aw, I’m sorry you lost the million dollars. But it’s good to have ya back, buddy!

_The remaining losers disperse while the two friends reunite._

NOAH: Where exactly _are_ we?

OWEN: Chris’ basement. I think.

NOAH: He traded out a beachside resort for a basement, huh? Lame.

OWEN: Aw, it’s not so bad! Come on, let me show you around!

_Flash forward a few minutes. Noah and Owen stand in a new, larger, room. Most of the former contestants are hanging out inside._

OWEN: And this is the rec room! This is mostly where we hang out, eheh.

_As they walk through the room, the camera focuses on Lindsay, Harold, and Leonard. Lindsay and Harold sit in bean bags and Leonard stands in front of them, waggling his fingers. Lindsay addresses the camera._

LINDSAY: It sucks I lost out on the million _again_ , but Lorenzo is _so_ funny! Like, I could watch him do his magic all _day_!

LEONARD: Fair Lindsay, witness the supreme awesomeness of my invisibility spell! _Invisicus unseeicus_!

_Harold rolls a die onto the floor._

HAROLD: Twelve. The spell succeeds partially; only your legs turn invisible.

_Lindsay and Harold look at Leonard’s long green robes._

LINDSAY: Oh my _gosh_ , it worked! I can’t see your legs! That’s incredible! Me next! Uh, I apply cherry lipstick!

_Harold picks up the die and rerolls it._

HAROLD: You rolled a four. The lipstick breaks in half and you have to buy a new one.

LINDSAY: Aw, dang it!

LEONARD: I’ll save you! _Lipstickus appearus_!

_Leonard withdraws an actual lipstick tube from his robes and hands it to Lindsay._

LINDSAY: _Yay_!

_Pan over to Zoey. She’s on the other side of the room, playing one of the many arcade games in the corner. As she moves the joystick, she talks into her phone._

ZOEY: [into the phone] Hey, absolutely _no_ spoilers for the new Clone Wars episodes! I’m not gonna watch it until I get home.

_She glances at the camera and waves._

ZOEY: Oh, I’m being filmed right now! Mike, say hi!

_She holds up the phone._

MIKE: [unseen, muffled] Uh, hello Total Drama!

ZOEY: I’ll call you back later, okay?

MIKE: [unseen, muffled] Okay!

_Zoey hangs up and addresses the camera._

ZOEY: Um, what have I been up to? Mostly I’ve been talking to Mike or Gwen or Cameron. And if they’re busy, I hang out with Owen. It hasn’t been _so_ bad, being here. At least the rec room has these cool retro arcade games.

_She gestures to the game right as Jo walks up._

JO: You gonna let me use that now, or what?

ZOEY: Oh, sure, Jo.

_She steps aside, and observes as Jo plays the game. Noticeably, Jo is now wearing an actual cast._

ZOEY: How’s your arm?

JO: The producers _dragged_ me to an actual doctor after lunch. Turns out, my arm _is_ broken. I hate this show.

ZOEY: Wow, guess Brick was right to make you that sling. 

JO: What’s it to you, Flower Power?

ZOEY: Nothing, I promise!

_Jo eyes her suspiciously before going back to her game._

ZOEY: But you’re hoping Brick wins, right?

JO: That’s none of your business, Red. Now buzz off and let me win this game!

_Zoey smiles and turns away. As she leaves, she pulls out her phone and dials a number._

ZOEY: Hey Mike, I’m back! Okay, so I definitely think something’s going on…

_Zoey walks by Lightning and Sky, who are playing table football. The camera focuses on them as Sky tosses the paper football through Lightning’s fingers._

SKY: Yes! Another point for me!

LIGHTNING: Great touchdown, Sky, but you still need another three to beat the _Lightning_!

SKY: Don’t get too confident. I’m catching up to you, Big Guy.

_She playfully slugs him in the shoulder. They’re both suddenly aware of the camera’s presence, and Sky’s carefree smile disappears._

SKY: Oh, hello. There’s no exercise equipment down here, so we have to make do with paper footballs.

_Lightning doesn’t share her reserve. He pumps a fist in the air and grins._

LIGHTNING: And guess what! Sky and Lightning are sha-dating!

_Sky smiles bashfully._

SKY: Well, we’re _going to_ date after we return home and quarantine restrictions are lifted. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this show, it’s that you can’t dive into a relationship after knowing the person for less than a week. We’ve only been down here together for two days.

LIGHTNING: And they’ve been the best two days of the whole year!

_Lightning and Sky smile at each other, before a sour look overtakes Lightning’s face._

LIGHTNING: But Lightning’s still mad he got voted out early.

_Sky nods sympathetically._

SKY: Me too, definitely. Final six compared to final two? That’s just embarrassing. 

_She flicks the paper football at Lightning again._

SKY: But since I got to meet you, it definitely wasn’t a total loss.

LIGHTNING: Aw, Sky! You’re so sha-sweet. Now come on, let me score another sweet, sweet, victory!

_Sky holds up her fingers to create a goalpost, and they resume their game._

_Cut to the girls’ bedroom. Amy sits on a bed in the corner, adjusting a poster on the wall. When she notices the camera, she scowls and releases the poster._

AMY: Go _away_! I’m not gonna do a dumb interview about being booted off the show. Unless you want me to explain all of Samey’s many, _many_ faults.

_When she gets no response from the cameraman, Amy’s scowl deepens._

AMY: Whatever! Just get out of here! I’m _busy_!

_She throws a pillow at the camera._

_Cut to Owen and Noah in the pantry alcove across from the video games. Owen opens a cupboard door. Dozens of chip bags fall out._

OWEN: 24/7 snackage! It’s pretty delish, right, Noah?

_Noah picks up a chip bag and examines it._

NOAH: Definitely more convenient than foraging, though the jury's still out on the health factor.

_They sit down at the counter and dig into their chips._

OWEN: Chris sends down takeout every other night. 

NOAH: I’m betting he doesn’t deliver it himself?

OWEN: Nah, he said he’s not taking any chances getting a disease from us. 

NOAH: Classic Chris.

CHRIS: [unseen] Shut it, Noah!

_Noah jumps._

NOAH: Ah! Let me guess, surround sound system?

OWEN: Correctamundo. 

_Noah shoves some chips into his mouth. Harold ambles over._

HAROLD: How’s Leshawna doing, dude?

NOAH: Well I pissed her off the other day, but aside from that I guess she’s okay.

HAROLD: Awesome. She’s definitely gonna win this time. I’m sure of it.

NOAH: Doubt it.

HAROLD: Why? She’s the most experienced, most beautiful player left in the game.

NOAH: Dude, no way is she going to make it anywhere if Brick and Sammy are joint at the hip.

HAROLD: [annoyed] You underestimate Leshawna. She’s had her bad moments, but mostly she’s a kickbutt gal.

_Noah is unimpressed._

NOAH: So are you guys actually dating or is this unrequited?

HAROLD: Wouldn’t _you_ like to know, gosh.

_He grabs a bag of chips and stalks away to play a video game._

OWEN: Wowzers! So who do you think is gonna win, Noah? Sammy or Brick?

_Jo, Sky, and Lightning arrive at the alcove just in time to hear Noah’s response._

NOAH: Hmmm… Sammy. Brick would be too chivalrous to take a victory away from her.

JO: No way. Brickhead actually has some semblance of a spine this season. He’s not going down that easy.

LIGHTNING: Who thinks Sammy’s gonna make it to the finale, anyways? She’s so sha-scrawny!

SKY: Sammy’s a sweetheart! And so is Leshawna! And so is Brick!

NOAH: Pick a person, Sky.

SKY: Uh, I suppose if I had to, I’d put my money on Leshawna.

LIGHTNING: Well Lightning puts his on Brick! Team Dude all the way!

_Jo rolls her eyes. Zoey, Lindsay, and Leonard walk over._

SKY: Zoey! Who are you rooting for?

ZOEY: Probably Sammy. She was a good competitor, and a good friend. 

LEONARD: I, too, cast my vote behind Sammy! Her purple hair indicates she must have mastered some sort of witchcraft. 

_Jo and Sky visibly shuffle away from Leonard._

LINDSAY: Well I’m one hundred percent on Team Leshawna!

OWEN: Yeah, I hope Leshawna wins.

ZOEY: Hey, remember in season one when the losers accidentally voted out Leshawna during the interval episode? What are the odds we’re doing the same thing right now?

_Everyone looks at the camera._

NOAH: Well if there’s two votes for Brick, four votes for Leshawna, and three for Sammy, I think we know who’d get kicked out if that were the case. 

JO: Wait a minute! That’s only nine votes. There’s supposed to be ten people here.

LIGHTNING: Well who’s missin’?

NOAH: The one person no one would miss if she disappeared…

EVERYONE: Amy!

ZOEY: She’s probably sulking in the girls’ room.

JO: Go get her! We need her to weigh in!

SKY: Do we _really_ , though?

_Zoey heads to the girls’ room. She peeks inside; it’s dark and empty. She returns to the rec room._

ZOEY: Amy wasn’t in her bed.

LEONARD: Maybe she cast an own invisibility spell! 

JO: Shut it, Harry Potter. Flower Power probably needs her eyes checked.

ZOEY: I definitely do not. She wasn’t in there!

_Everyone is silent for several moments._

SKY: So does no one care at all that Amy is AWOL?

_No one replies. Lightning coughs._

SKY: I don’t like her that much either, but I don’t want to be unnecessarily mean about it.

NOAH: What do you want us to do? Search the entire basement until she turns up?

SKY: Yes. Once we find Amy, we can go back to ignoring her.

JO: You had me at ‘ignoring her.’

_The group disperses to look for Amy. Lindsay and Zoey recheck the girls’ room; Leonard and Harold check the boys’. Owen and Noah peek in the bathroom. Sky and Lightning investigate the funnel chute. Jo halfheartedly looks under the table in the rec room._

JO: Well, Twin One isn’t under here. Time to play some Injustice III.

_She strolls over to one of the arcade games on the far wall._

LINDSAY: [shouting from offscreen] Everybody come _look_ at this!

_Jo sighs and leaves the game. ‘Game Over’ flashes across the screen._

_Cut to the girls’ room. The nine contestants have gathered inside. Lindsay sits on Amy’s bed and points a thumb at the poster on the wall._

LINDSAY: So Zoey and I were searching the room, right? And I felt kinda tired, so I sat down on the bed and _leaned_ my head against the wall-

LIGHTNING: Girl, get to the sha-point!

LINDSAY: Look what I discovered!

_She rips the poster off the wall to reveal a large air vent._

HAROLD: Are you insinuating that Amy snuck out of the basement through an air vent? Ingenious.

SKY: Well if Amy is nowhere to be found, this is as good a place to start as any.

LEONARD: Huzzah! The party shall venture to the treacherous outside in order to retrieve the missing damsel!

HAROLD: I call being Dungeon Master.

LIGHTNING: Sha-Lightning is in. He’s a master vent crawler!

_Sky giggles._

SKY: I’ll come, too.

JO: I’m in. If Amy’s about to bite the dust, I wanna be there to mock her.

_Zoey and Lindsay shoot her a weird look. Noah snickers._

NOAH: In different circumstances, maybe we could have been friends.

_Flash forward. Leonard leads the way through the vents, followed by Zoey, Lightning, Sky, Jo, and finally Lindsay._

ZOEY: Do you know where you’re going, Leonard?

LEONARD: I’m relying on my _inner compass_ to guide us through.

_Cut back to the girls’ room. Harold, Noah, and Owen are still there. Owen gazes cautiously at the vent._

OWEN: I dunno if I can fit in there…

_Harold throws a die on the floor._

HAROLD: You roll a seventeen. You’re able to squeeze through, but only if you take your shoes off.

_Noah stares at Harold, confused. Owen follows the orders without hesitation and throws his shoes against the wall._

OWEN: Outside, here we come!

_Cut to the outside of the building. The wall is bare except for the vent entrance._

LEONARD: [offscreen] _Ventus disappearus_!

_Leonard suddenly punches the vent covering off. He crawls out of the vent, followed by the remaining eight teens. Owen struggles a bit, but he eventually gets out._

ZOEY: Wow, Chris’ place is _huge_!

_They look up at the mansion walls that tower over them. Acres of green landscape surround them. In the distance is the infamous funnel._

SKY: Alright, do we have any idea where Amy might have gone next?

NOAH: I say we go left.

JO: What’s your logic there, Forehead?

_An annoyed Noah jerks his thumb in the aforementioned direction._

NOAH: Check out the light show.

_The camera pans to the left to show the lights to which Noah is referring. In the distance, the property beside Chris’ has neon strobe lights spilling out of its windows. The soft thump of bass music is heard._

HAROLD: All in favor of following Noah’s plan?

_Everyone raises their hand except Jo, who keeps hers down out of spite._

LEONARD: Onward! It’s time for our party to crash that party!

_Flash forward a few minutes. The kids are about halfway to the other mansion. Lindsay and Zoey walk beside each other._

LINDSAY: So, like, how many people do you think will be at this party?

ZOEY: Probably at least thirty. And I bet they’re all either young millionaires or cheerleaders.

LINDSAY: Um, I’m a cheerleader, too!

ZOEY: Oh, right. No offense.

LINDSAY: [unfazed] It’s all good!

_Cut to Chris. He sits in his pristine kitchen and drinks a cup of McLean brand hot chocolate. Chef walks in, a book in his hand._

CHRIS: Chef! Can you _believe_ the neighbors didn’t invite me to their party? 

CHEF: Yes.

CHRIS: Not the response I was expecting. C’mon, I am _always_ the life of the party.

_Chef rolls his eyes._

CHEF: I’m sure they didn’t invite you because you’re too _important_ to risk being infected at a social gathering.

_Chris smiles._

CHRIS: Yeah, you’re right! Who needs ‘em, anyways?

_While Chris sips his drink, Chef stares at the camera in disbelief._

_Flash forward. The nine losers have arrived at the neighboring mansion. They stand in the glow of the neon strobe lights and take in the scene._

SKY: Should we knock?

HAROLD: Roll for charisma.

_He throws the die at Sky. It bounces off her arm and lands in the grass._

HAROLD: You rolled a one. Critical fail! Ouch.

JO: Sky, don’t listen to Ginger over here. Just ask if Amy’s inside.

LIGHTNING: You got this, girl!

_Sky smiles at the encouragement. She steps up to the door and knocks. A teenage girl with brown hair answers the door._

TAYLOR: Um, can I help you?

SKY: Hi! We’re looking for-

TAYLOR: A mall, hopefully. Your outfit is _totes_ ugly.

SKY: Hey! That was uncalled for! Our, uh, friend is-

TAYLOR: Also a loser, if she’s friends with you.

SKY: Can you just let me-

TAYLOR: Yah, so you’re obvi not on the guest list. Get lost.

_Taylor slams the door in Sky’s face._

HAROLD: Told ya it’d be a critical fail.

OWEN: [to Noah] Was that-

NOAH: Yes. Yes it was.

JO: I say we break in through one of the windows. Or just go home. Either works for me.

NOAH: Yeah, we don’t even know Amy is here. I spent all day building a waterslide, I want to take a nap. 

LIGHTNING: Step aside! Lightning will break through the window!

_He backs up, and hurls himself at the nearest window._

LIGHTNING: Sha-bam!

_Lightning slams into the window. It doesn’t break, and he slumps down on the ground. Jo cackles._

SKY: Are you okay, Lightning?

LIGHTNING: [dazed] All sha-good!

_Harold coughs._

HAROLD: Let me show you the mad skills I learned from Burglar Steve’s Burglar Camp.

_Suspenseful music plays as Harold uses a laser pen to drill into the window. He cuts a clean circle and it falls at his feet._

HAROLD: Nat twenty. Automatic success. 

JO: Quit it with the nerd talk and maybe I’d actually compliment your burglar skills.

LIGHTNING: Let’s go and get Amy! Sha-yeah!

_He somersaults through the window. Everyone else follows after him. Once they’re inside the very-nicely-furnished room, the nine kids gather in a circle._

JO: Here’s the game plan. We split into groups, fan out, and locate Amy. If we haven’t found her in ten minutes, we ditch this joint.

_Lightning puts his hand in the center of the group._

LIGHTNING: Alright team, let’s sha-find that annoying cheerleader!

_Everyone puts their hands on top of Lightning’s, including a very reluctant Noah and Jo._

LIGHTNING: Break!

_Flash forward to Jo and Zoey weaving their way through a crowd of teens dancing to the music. No one notices their presence. They shout at each other over the music._

ZOEY: I’ve never been to a party like this before!

JO: Congratulations, Queen of Quirky! Neither have I, but you don’t see me complaining about it!

ZOEY: Who said I was complaining?!

JO: Just focus on finding Amy before we catch a disease!

_Cut to Leonard, Lindsay, and Harold. They’re on the upper level, where the music isn’t as loud._

LINDSAY: Um, Harold, I don’t think Amy is gonna be up here.

HAROLD: You never know, Linds. Perhaps she is burglarizing jewelry from the hostess while the party rages on below.

LEONARD: I never realized Amy was a rogue! I would have pegged her for a cleric.

HAROLD: Lindsay, you check the left wing. I will check the right. Leonard, stand guard in case Amy or anyone else comes by.

LEONARD: As you wish!

_Lindsay and Harold begin their checks, opening each door one at a time._

HAROLD: Ahh!

_A mountain of expensive shoes cascades onto him after he opens the third door._

LEONARD: I’ll save you, Harold!

_He rushes over and starts unearthing Harold from the shoe pile._

_Cut to Noah and Owen, downstairs in the kitchen, which is large, spacious, and full of teenagers milling about with red cups._

_Owen searches through the refrigerator and pulls out a tub of deluxe chocolate ice cream._

OWEN: [giggling] We’re eating like kings tonight! 

_Noah hands him a spoon, and they eat the very expensive ice cream._

NOAH: If you see Amy, let me know! 

OWEN: [muffled] Okay!

_They continue eating. Amy walks right past them, but neither she nor the boys notice each other._

_Cut to Lightning and Sky. They’ve made it to the back patio. Aside from one or two stragglers, they’re the only people there._

SKY: Well, we should head back inside. Amy’s definitely not out here.

LIGHTNING: No way! Lightning ain’t been outside in three days. Why don’t we look at the stars or something cheesy like that?

SKY: Ok- _ay_ , but only for a few minutes, and then we have to go back to looking! 

LIGHTNING: You’ve got a sha-deal!

_Cut back to Zoey and Jo in the main part of the party. Zoey points to the left._

ZOEY: I think I see her over there!

_Jo points to the right._

JO: No, I’m pretty sure she’s over there!

ZOEY: Ugh, there’s too many blondes here! 

JO: If I tackle them one by one, I’ll eventually tackle the right one!

ZOEY: [sarcastically] Can’t go wrong with that logic!

_Jo immediately tackles the closest blonde girl._

_Cut to the kitchen. Owen and Noah have chocolate slobbered all over their faces._

NOAH: Wow, I haven’t been this stuffed since we went on that cooking show last winter.

OWEN: Wanna get some more?

NOAH: Dude, I think we have to start looking for Amy. Let’s get this over with so we can go home.

OWEN: [sighs] I guess you’re right.

_They walk out of the kitchen and into the main foyer. The dancing has descended into a mob. Noah and Owen immediately locate Zoey._

NOAH: Do I even want to ask?

ZOEY: When Jo said she was gonna tackle every blonde in here, I thought she was being _sarcastic_!

NOAH: Even _I_ would’ve known she was being serious, and you’ve known her way longer than me!

_Amy appears, cup in hand. Her eyes are glued to the scene in front of them; she doesn’t register who she’s talking to._

AMY: Um, what the heck is going on?

NOAH, OWEN, AND ZOEY: Amy!

_Amy’s eyes go wide and she turns to look at them._

AMY: What are _you_ doing here?

ZOEY: Looking for _you_!

NOAH: Owen, grab her and run!

_Owen picks up Amy, who screams indignantly. Noah and Owen run out the room. Meanwhile, Zoey tries to break up the fight Jo started._

_Cut to Noah and Owen standing outside the front of the mansion, waiting for the rest of the squad to regroup. Amy is slung over Owen’s shoulder and she does not look happy._

AMY: You could have just left me, you know. I don’t want to be stuck with you people any more than you want to be stuck with me. 

OWEN: But we didn’t want you to get infected! Even if you are a total jerk to everyone.

_Sky and Lightning arrive after jogging around the mansion’s perimeter._

SKY: Yay! You found her!

LIGHTNING: Now we can get back to our table football!

_They high five. Amy rolls her eyes._

_The doors suddenly swing open. Zoey, Jo, Lindsay, Harold, and Leonard are suddenly kicked through the entrance and land in a heap on the lawn. An angry Taylor appears behind them._

TAYLOR: Thanks to you nerds, what _should_ have been the social event of the quarantine is now _ruined_. Get off my property!

JO: Hey, who are you calling a nerd?!

_Taylor slams the door._

ZOEY: Wow, first time I’ve ever been kicked out of a party!

_Leonard is the first of the five to stand up. He pumps a fist in the air._

LEONARD: Huzzah! Our quest was a success! Let us return to our quarters to regroup!

_Everyone else stands ups. Noah eyes Harold warily._

NOAH: Dude, why are you wearing heels?

_The camera pans down to show Harold has traded his sneakers for pink stiletto heels. Harold scoffs._

HAROLD: These are _vintage_ , Noah. I couldn’t just leave them behind!

_Everyone is silent for a moment._

AMY: Ugh, either let me _go_ or let’s start _walking_ , people!

_Flash forward to the basement. The ten teens stare at something offscreen, their expressions all varying degrees of fearful, confused, and annoyed._

_The camera finally shows the object of their stares: Chris stands in front of them, looking very stern and annoyed._

CHRIS: So you snuck out, didya? Thought I wouldn’t notice, hmmm?

OWEN: We were just trying to save Amy!

AMY: I didn’t _need_ saving! I was having a _great_ time before you guys came and wrecked it!

CHRIS: Enough! I’m sure you all know what I’m going to say next…

_His frown breaks into a smile._

CHRIS: That will be _great_ for ratings!

_The only person enthused is Owen, who cheers._

OWEN: So we’re not in trouble?

CHRIS: Nah. When you kids break rules, I _always_ get more money.

LIGHTNING: So, if Lightning was to steal Chef’s helicopter and rejoin the competition-

CHRIS: Don’t push it. Anyways, I’m off to bed. This host needs his beauty sleep!

_Chris disappears. Lindsay and Leonard gasp._

LEONARD: He used my invisibility spell!

NOAH: That was a hologram.

LEONARD: Aw...

_The group disperses. Harold and Leonard play an arcade game. Jo and Lightning arm wrestle while Sky referees. Zoey braids Lindsay’s hair. Amy eats chips at the counter, miserable and alone. Owen and Noah play cards._

NOAH: Well at least I’m only gonna be here for, like, two more days.

OWEN: Oh, you don’t know yet, do you?

NOAH: Know what?

OWEN: After filming ends, we’re staying here for an extra two weeks. Social distancing and all that.

NOAH: ...Great.

_The scene fades to black._

_Several neon glow sticks appear and shake vigorously against the dark background._

CHEF: [unseen] Chris? What are you doing, man?

_Chris flicks a lightswitch to reveal Chris standing on his bed, waving the glow sticks like nunchucks. A party hat sits on his head._

CHRIS: [flustered] Chef! Dude, why’d you turn the lights on?! 

_Chef raises an eyebrow._

CHRIS: I was having my _own_ party by myself, thank you very much. Now leave! I have important things to do!

_Chef sighs and turns off the lights. Chris continues waving the glow sticks._

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, technically this was "filler," but I think it was fun filler.


	13. Episode 13: Scott Says, Sammy Does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Three participate in classic games with heinously embarrassing twists.

_The shot opens to Chris barbecuing in his backyard._

CHRIS: Previously on Total Drama Island!

_He narrates a montage of Noah, Brick, Sammy, and Leshawna building their waterslides._

CHRIS: Our final four were tasked with the easy peasy task of building waterslides! They weren’t _too_ bad at it, and when they were done…

_Cut to a shot of Noah being flung into the ocean after going down Brick’s waterslide._

CHRIS: ...they switched it up and rode each _other’s_ waterslides! 

_Cut to Leshawna struggling to fit into Noah’s slide._

CHRIS: Leshawna found Noah’s slide was only fit for a toddler.

_Brick is about to go down Sammy’s slide when the duct tape gives way and the bottom falls off._

CHRIS: And Brick found Sammy’s slide wasn’t fit for _anybody_!

_A panting Sammy finally reaches the top of Leshawna’s slide._

CHRIS: Despite climbing about a bajillion stairs, Sammy finished the challenge and won immunity for herself!

_Cut to the campfire ceremony. Noah talks as he climbs onto the ladder._

CHRIS: Noah finally got the boot, but took his sweet time revealing _I’ve_ been turning this place into a resort!

_The shot returns to Chris. He flips over a steak and grins cheekily._

CHRIS: Hey, I’m not gonna deny it. Free labor is free labor!

_The shot cuts away to a split screen showing the final three: Sammy, Brick, and Leshawna._

CHRIS: We’re down to our final three, who are nice as can be! How will we get them to turn against each other? Find out how, right now! On Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_The first scene opens to Sammy and Leshawna sitting on their lounge chairs, eating cooked fish for breakfast. Beside them, Brick does push ups._

BRICK: ...ninety eight, ninety nine, one hundred!

LESHAWNA: Alright, Big Guy, why don’t you eat breakfast with the rest of us? This fish is gonna get cold soon. 

BRICK: Affirmative!

_He sits down on Sky’s old lounge chair and begins to eat his own fish._

SAMMY: I can’t believe we’re in the final three!

LESHAWNA: _I_ can’t believe Chris has been tryna build a whole resort behind our backs, and he doesn’t have the decency to send us something good to eat!

BRICK: Fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner isn’t _so_ bad.

LESHAWNA: It’s better than starvin’, but I’m swearin’ off the stuff as soon as I get home.

SAMMY: What would you eat if we could get any food we wanted, right now?

LESHAWNA: Right now I’m feeling a pina colada and watermelon slices.

SAMMY: Yum, fruit. What about you, Brick?

BRICK: I’m fine with the fish! But if i had to pick, probably flapjacks with fresh maple syrup. You?

SAMMY: Tacos. I _really_ want tacos. 

BRICK: Well if you win the million, you can buy all the tacos you want.

_Leshawna raises a brow._

LESHAWNA: What makes you so sure Sammy’s gonna win big?

BRICK: That was a hypothetical, ma’am!

SAMMY: What would _you_ do if you won the prize money, Leshawna?

LESHAWNA: Three words. Ultimate. Spa. Day. And after that, I’d pay off my tuition, and then I’d donate the rest of it to helpin’ troubled teens from the inner city.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Course, there won’t be much cash left after my ultimate spa day. I’m getting a thousand dollar mani-pedi! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Brick salutes Leshawna._

BRICK: Admirable goals! If I won the million, I’d put some towards my fashion school funds, maybe invest in a pair of night vision goggles, and I’d also give back to the veterans suffering from PTSD!

LESHAWNA: Impressive goals.

SAMMY: Yeah, _really_ impressive.

_Brick and Leshawna look at her expectantly._

SAMMY: What?

LESHAWNA: Come on, Sammy, get in on the share-fest!

BRICK: How would you spend the million?

SAMMY: Um… I’d _definitely_ give a lot of it to charity. Definitely. Maybe even like, half of it.

LESHAWNA: So cool, girl. Which ones?

SAMMY: Oh, a little here, a little there. 

_She giggles nervously._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Okay, I admit I panicked. I hadn’t even _thought_ of giving away my winnings until just now. My plan for the million is to pay my way through an Australian boarding school. That way, I could visit Jasmine more often, and I’d be away from Amy. After that’s all paid off, _then_ I’d give a portion of the million to charity. Pinky promise! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Leshawna sits up straight and looks at the others._

LESHAWNA: Alright, ya’ll, we’re all friends here, but it’s everyone for themselves here on out. Sound good?

BRICK: It may be one for all, but I’m still operating on my no-soldier-left-behind policy!

_Leshawna eyes him warily._

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I’m just tryna to make sure Sammy and Brick don’t have some secret final two deal. Is that so wrong? [END CONFESSIONAL]

LESHAWNA: Whatever you say, Brick. How ‘bout you, Sammy? You cool with no teaming?

_Sammy smiles uncertainly._

SAMMY: Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t need a team to win this thing!

LESHAWNA: That’s the spirit, girlie.

_The Chris hologram appears._

CHRIS: Hello, final three! Are you ready for your first challenge?

BRICK: Yes, sir!

SAMMY: Yeah!

LESHAWNA: Sure.

CHRIS: Awesome. This first mini-challenge is quick and simple: make a face mask!

SAMMY: Like, what doctors wear?

CHRIS: Yup!

_For emphasis the Chris hologram fits a surgical mask over his stubbly chin._

CHRIS: These things are _mandatory_ in some parts of Canada. Meet back here in ten minutes _after_ you’ve figured out what you’re wearing.

_He flashes them a peace sign._

CHRIS: See you then!

_Hologram Chris disappears._

BRICK: Hey! I have-

_Leshawna puts a finger to his lips, shushing him._

LESHAWNA: Everyone for themselves, remember?

BRICK: But I can help you-

LESHAWNA: I appreciate it, hon, but we’re gonna get this done on our own.

SAMMY: Um, right. Sorry, Brick.

BRICK: No need for apologies! Best of luck to you both!

_He salutes and jogging back to the boys’ hut. Sammy goes to the girls’ hut, and Leshawna goes into the woods._

_Brick rummages through his backpack and pulls out three bandanas in different colors- red, green, and purple._

BRICK: [triumphantly] Victory!

_His grin fades as he looks from bandana to bandana._

BRICK: But which color would look best? Aw, why did I bring so many?

_Cut to Sammy. Like Brick, she scavenges through her backpack, looking for some mask-like materials._

SAMMY: Come on, there’s gotta be something I can use! 

_She finally pulls out a pair of socks._

SAMMY: These could work if I cut them… but the only scissors on this entire island are at the catwalk behind the mess hall!

_She looks around before sighing heavily._

SAMMY: I don’t think I have a choice.

_The next shot shows Sammy running into the forest, socks in hand. She passes by Leshawna, who shimmies up a palm tree. She sticks her tongue out in concentration as she reaches out to grab a palm leaf._

LESHAWNA: Woo hoo!

_Suddenly, she becomes unbalanced and falls off the tree, palm leaf in hand._

LESHAWNA: _Oof_! Aw, I hope that doesn’t leave a mark.

_Cut back to the campfire circle. Leshawna and Brick sit across from each other; Brick is wearing the green bandana, and Leshawna has tied the palm leaf around her face. Hologram Chris appears, and he looks between the two of them with a frown on his face._

CHRIS: Well that was unfortunately easy for you two.

BRICK: The hardest part was picking which bandana to wear!

CHRIS: Uh-huh. Sammy’s cutting it _awfully_ close.

BRICK: I should have just let her borrow a bandana!

_Leshawna shoots him a look, but luckily Sammy bursts out of the forest, panting heavily._

SAMMY: I have my mask!

_She slips the mask over her face. Her white sock has been crudely cut out to fit her face; as an added decoration, she has also drawn cat whiskers on the front._

CHRIS: In the nick of time, too. Finding a mask was simply the introduction to the first challenge, which will begin now.

_Sammy sits down next to Brick while Leshawna glares at Chris._

LESHAWNA: Spit it out, man.

CHRIS: You three will be competing in the Silent Game! Whoever can go the longest _without_ talking will win an advantage in the next challenge!

_The three contestants exchange glances of disbelief._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Easiest- [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: -Challenge- [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: -Evah! [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: Any last words before we begin? No? Good. The Silent Game official begins now!

_A timer appears on the bottom of the screen, clocking in how long the contestants have gone without speaking. They sit in silence that is only broken by a screeching seagull._

_The scene transitions to the five minute mark. Sammy and Brick play rock paper scissors. Leshawna suntans on her chair. Hologram Chris coughs._

CHRIS: I figured this would get a little boring _immediately_ , so I’ve compiled a few video clips to get you talking.

_The portable TV switches on. The very first video is a clip from the previous episode. Lightning, Jo, Sky, Noah, and Owen stand around the countertop. The on-screen teenagers begin speaking._

OWEN: So who do you think is gonna win, Noah? Sammy or Brick?

NOAH: Hmmm… Sammy. Brick would be too chivalrous to take a victory away from her.

_Brick and Sammy exchange a glance before they both look away. Leshawna rolls her eyes._

LIGHTNING: Who thinks Sammy’s gonna make it to the finale, anyways? She’s so sha-scrawny!

_Sammy’s eyes widen. She stands up as if she’s about to fight him, and her fists clench up. Brick grabs her wrist and she looks at him, relaxes, and sits down. Leshawna rubs her temple._

_The next clip is an unaired confessional of Amy’s._

AMY: Who does Leshawna think she is, my _mom_? She’s always doing people’s dirty laundry and telling me to mind my business! She can’t do that! If I want to bully my good-for-nothing sister, I should be allowed to do that whenever I want! I just hope the other team votes her out soon!

 _Leshawna’s eyes narrow, and she slowly pounds a fist into her other hand._

_The scene changes to yet another clip of Amy. She sits on a bean bag in the losers’ rec room. Jo sits next to her._

JO: So even after watching Revenge of the Island, you _still_ thought Brickhead was boyfriend material?

AMY: As if I watched Revenge of the Island. I only wanted a respectable military boyfriend so my popularity at school would _skyrocket_.

_Brick, Sammy, and Leshawna all cringe at her candor._

JO: Wow. You know you’ve been chasing after a guy who still wets his pants, right?

_Amy’s face goes slack._

AMY: Oh my gag, are you kidding me right now? That’s even worse than fashion school! This is _humiliating_!

_The clip keeps playing, but the camera focuses on Brick, who is tomato red. Leshawna and Sammy stare sympathetically, but their true expressions are concealed by their masks._

_The next clip is, once again, an Amy clip. She follows Leonard as he walks across the rec room._

AMY: ...you don’t even understand how awful Samey is! Her morning breath smells like literal vomit, and she hasn’t had a boyfriend since the seventh grade! And he only dated her out of pity because _I_ was dating _his_ twin brother.

_A new clip shows Amy talking to Lindsay while the latter is painting her nails._

AMY: ...Samey thinks you need to lose weight, you know.

_Lindsay gasps and drops the polish brush._

_The final clip displays Amy glaring at Owen as he downs a bag of chips._

AMY: You may be disgusting and useless, Owen, but just be grateful you’re not as disgusting and useless as my sister!

OWEN: Hey…

_The clip show ends, and the shot focues on Sammy. She’s plugged her fingers into her ears and her eyes are squeezed shut. Leshawna and Brick look angry. The Chris Hologram smiles._

CHRIS: It’s such a shame Sammy didn’t hear all the lovely stuff her sister said. Honestly, everything Amy does is a drama _goldmine_. Definitely bringing her back for the next season.

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: Those videos could be considered psychological _warfare_ , especially for Sammy. I mean, it’s embarrassing for me that Amy and Jo were discussing… y’know, but the way Amy belittled Sammy was downright deplorable! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_The timer on the bottom of the screen reads ten minutes as Brick returns to the fire circle after making his confession._

CHRIS: And Brick is the first one to lose the Silent Game!

BRICK: What? But I didn’t speak, that was just a confessional!

CHRIS: Yeah. Hate to break it to you, but those count, too.

BRICK: Aw, man.

_Chris chuckles as Brick sits down._

CHRIS: Look at the bright side, now you can defend yourself the next time Jo calls you a pants wetter!

BRICK: I’m gonna have a talk with her about that.

_Hologram Chris looks from Sammy to Leshawna._

CHRIS: You two are gonna be tougher nuts to crack, wontcha? Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of stuff to make you talk!

_He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling through it._

CHRIS: Last week the producers emailed a bunch of outside sources asking for dirt on our contestants. Come to think of it, we could have just asked Sierra, but too late now. 

_He beams and stops scrolling._

CHRIS: Aha! Here’s a quote from Leshawna’s college roommate, Mai.

_Leshawna raises an eyebrow._

CHRIS: She says, and I quote, [in falsetto] “Leshawna thinks she’s so great because she was on three seasons of a reality show. Get a clue, girl! That’s not gonna help you pass the advanced algebra class you’re about to fail.”

[CONFESSIONAL] _Leshawna glares at the camera. She puts two fingers up to her eyes and turns them back to the camera in an “I’ve got my eye on you” gesture._ [END CONFESSIONAL]

CHRIS: Guess you two will have a lot to talk about next time you see each other. Which may be never, considering the spring semester has been canceled. Heh. Anyways, here’s a little something from Sammy’s favorite photography teacher, Ms. Holmes.

_Sammy puts her hands over her ears, and Hologram Chris purses his lips._

CHRIS: Brick, please tell Sammy that if she does that again, she’s out of the challenge.

_Brick taps on Sammy’s shoulder, and she takes a hand off her ear to listen to him._

BRICK: Ma’am, I regret to inform you that if you continue to cover your ears, Chris will eliminate you from the challenge.

_Sammy folds her arms angrily and awaits Chris’ onslaught._

CHRIS: [falsetto] “When she’s not harassing the freshmen, Samey is a delight to have in class. She has a keen eye for photography, I just wish she’d use it on more flattering subjects. Her sister Amy, now there’s a real talent!”

_Sammy stomps her foot angrily in the sand._

CHRIS: [mockingly] Not gonna correct that, Sammy? No witty retort about how Amy switched your photos with hers?

_Sammy’s eye twitches and she stands up._

SAMMY: Just let it die, Chris! Amy is the one who bullies the freshmen, not me! Amy’s the one who takes photos of dog turds, not me! Amy is the one who makes my life miserable!

CHRIS: Touching. You’re still out, though. Leshawna wins!

_Leshawna pumps a fist in the air._

LESHAWNA: Woo hoo!

_She turns to look at Sammy._

LESHAWNA: Sorry girl, I know that stuff was hard to hear.

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: And Mai, when I get back we are gonna have a _serious_ discussion. [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Can I amend my plan for the million dollars? Before I head off to Australian boarding school, I’m definitely getting therapy! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Chef’s helicopter arrives overhead._

CHRIS: Oh look! Our classic competitor cameo is here!

_Chef boots Scott out of the helicopter. He screams as he free falls, but Brick catches him before he hits the ground._

BRICK: Scott?

LESHAWNA AND SAMMY: Scott?

SCOTT: _Dweebs_?

CHRIS: Nice of you to join us, Scotty Boy!

_Scott glares at Brick before hopping out of his arms and dusting himself off._

SCOTT: Yeah, well, doing cameos on this crummy show pays more than dirt farming at the moment.

CHRIS: [cheekily] Well said, well said. The next challenge is Simon Says, or rather, Scott Says!

_Scott perks up._

SCOTT: I get to tell them what to do?

CHRIS: You got it!

SAMMY: Oh no, this can’t be good…

CHRIS: I’m sure you all know the rules. If Scott begins his instructions with ‘Scott says,’ you do it. If he doesn’t, you don’t do it. If you screw up, you’re out! Everyone has one Screw Up Do Over, an extra life, if you will. Leshawna, for winning the Silent Game, you have an extra opportunity to stay in the game.

LESHAWNA: So if I screw up twice, I’m still in the running?

CHRIS: You betcha.

LESHAWNA: Cool.

CHRIS: Scott, please keep your dares in line with the _spirit_ of the show.

SCOTT: You mean dangerous and/or humiliating?

CHRIS: You read my mind!

_Scott rubs his hands together deviously._

SCOTT: Time for the Scottmeister to have some fun.

CHRIS: One last tidbit before you start- the first person to run out of do overs is instantly eliminated.

_Brick, Leshawna, and Sammy gasp._

SAMMY: That’s so extreme!

CHRIS: What can I say? Adds drama!

_He chuckles and sits down on one of the lounge chairs._

CHRIS: They’re all yours, Scott!

SCOTT: Awesome. Roll over! Like a dog!

_The final three stare at him awkwardly. Scott sighs._

SCOTT: Scott says roll over like a dog.

BRICK: Sir, yes sir!

_He drops to the ground and rolls. Leshawna and Sammy follow suit._

[CONFESSIONAL] BRICK: If Scott is anything like my drill sergeant back home, I should be fine. [END CONFESSIONAL]

SCOTT: Hmmm, Scott says to dig a three feet hole.

_The three contestants comply while Scott sits down on a rock and watches._

LESHAWNA: Can I at least ask _why_?

SCOTT: That should buy me some time to come up with some wickedly awesome directions.

_Leshawna sighs and continues digging._

_Flash forward a moment; everyone stands in their three foot deep holes, waiting expectantly for Scott’s next order._

SCOTT: Beautiful, ladies and Brick. Now jump out.

_The only one who flinches is Leshawna, who partially raises one leg before quickly putting it down._

SCOTT: Uh, Chris, does that count?

CHRIS: Survey says, yes! Leshawna has used one Screw Up Do Over. Two tries left before she’s dunezo.

LESHAWNA: [sarcastically] Fantastic.

SCOTT: Hey, Chris, can I give different orders to different people?

CHRIS: I don’t see why not.

SCOTT: Scott says, Sammy, dredge up a fish for me to eat.

SAMMY: Um, can I get out of the hole?

SCOTT: That would be required in order for you to get the fish, wouldn’t it?

SAMMY: I guess.

_Sammy runs off to retrieve a fish._

SCOTT: Scott says, Brick, please massage my aching feet.

BRICK: Sir, yes, sir!

_Brick hops out of his hole and starts massaging Scott’s feet. He grimaces briefly before a steely look of determination overtakes him. Meanwhile, Leshawna stares at Scott, unimpressed._

LESHAWNA: You gonna give me anything to do, or am I just supposed to stand here?

SCOTT: Scott says to clip my fingernails.

_He holds up his hand, and a closeup reveals his calloused fingers and jagged fingernails._

LESHAWNA: How do you know I even have a nail clipper?

_Scott raises a disbelieving eyebrow._

SCOTT: You mean you don’t?

LESHAWNA: ...I do.

_She leaves to get her nail clippers from her backpack._

_Flash forward several minutes. Sammy has returned and cooks the fish. Brick is still massaging Scott’s feet, and Leshawna carefully clips Scott’s right thumb. A clipping shoots into her eye._

LESHAWNA: Ow!

SCOTT: Keep clipping, lady.

LESHAWNA: Why, you got some hot date after this? Gotta look presentable for the lucky lady?

BRICK: [gasps] Did you reconnect with Courtney?

SCOTT: What? No! Shut up and work faster!

LESHAWNA: Didn’t say ‘Scott says.’ I never really understood what Courtney saw in you, but hey, some say the same about me and Harold.

SCOTT: Scott says to shut your traps.

_Leshawna immediately closes her mouth._

SAMMY: Scott, do you want your fish medium or rare?

_Out of nowhere, hologram Chris pops up next to her._

CHRIS: And Sammy’s down to one try left!

_Sammy’s mouth drops open; even Scott looks confused._

SCOTT: But I only meant for Brick and Leshawna to be quiet!

CHRIS: Don’t care. My show, my rules.

_Sammy glares at him, and her eye twitches._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: Chris is totally bogus! He makes me almost as mad as Amy does… [END CONFESSIONAL]

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: I won’t miss anything about this season, but I _especially_ will not miss Chris’ arbitrary rules. [END CONFESSIONAL]

_What follows is a montage of Scott’s random dares._

SCOTT: Scott also says Sammy has to stand on one foot while she cooks my fish.

_Sammy raises her left leg and continues to cook the fish._

SCOTT: Scott says Leshawna has to sing while she clips my nails.

_Leshawna sighs heavily and sings off-key._

LESHAWNA: [singing] _I hate cutting Scott’s nasty fingernails! After this challenge, he should go to jail!_

SCOTT: Brick, you can take a break now.

BRICK: Finally!

_He takes his hands off Scott’s feet and sits back. Scott laughs._

SCOTT: I’m kinda good at this, aren’t I?

CHRIS: He didn’t say ‘Scott says’! Brick, you have one try left!

BRICK: Aw, fiddlesticks!

_The next shot shows Scott eating his fish._

SCOTT: Scott says to stand on the hot coals for one minute.

_Brick, Leshawna, and Sammy stand on the bonfire coals, wincing as their feet burn._

SCOTT: Now get off!

_They stay on the coals._

SCOTT: Leshawna Scott says to punch Brick!

_Leshawna faces Brick, who looks slightly nervous._

LESHAWNA: Sorry, hon. You understand, right?

BRICK: To an extent.

_She punches Brick, and he falls into the sand. He offers a weak thumbs up._

SCOTT: Scott says stay underwater for a minute!

_A fish swims past Sammy; her cheeks bulge as she struggles to complete the challenge._

SCOTT: Scott says let a crab punch your arm!

_Sammy cries in pain as a crab pinches her elbow._

SCOTT: Scott says give a makeover to a seagull.

_Sammy, battered and exhausted, hands a seagull to Scott. It has lipstick on its beak and the feathers on its head are curled. Scott wipes away a tear._

SCOTT: It’s beautiful.

LESHAWNA: [offscreen] How ya doin’, girl?

_The shot zooms out to reveal Leshawna is standing a few feet away, juggling several coconuts for Scott’s amusement._

SAMMY: My arms hurt. Scott, can you _please_ give us a break?

SCOTT: Scott says lift your arms above your head and shake them all about. 

_Sammy growls and follows his instructions._

[CONFESSIONAL] SAMMY: I assumed Scott had softened up after All Stars, but I guess being bored at home has brought out his nasty side. He is _totally_ acting like an Amy right now! [END CONFESSIONAL]

SAMMY: Hey, where’s Brick?

SCOTT: I sent him off to steal some turtle eggs.

SAMMY: That poor mama turtle!

SCOTT: A guy’s gotta eat, and fish just ain’t cutting it for the Scottmeister.

_Brick returns and hands off three tiny eggs to Scott._

BRICK: As you requested, sergeant!

SCOTT: Awesome. I’m gonna eat these while you and Sammy beat each other up.

_Sammy and Brick look at each other with trepidation._

SCOTT: Scott says Sammy and Brick have to fight each other. _Now_

[CONFESSIONAL] LESHAWNA: Look, I know it’s wacked up that Scott was pittin’ Sammy and Brick against each other. But am I the _only_ one that noticed he was gonna eat some raw eggs? That’s the real crime here! [END CONFESSIONAL]

_Sammy and Brick face each other. Sammy looks mad, and Brick’s expression is a mix of confusion, fear, and concern._

BRICK: Ladies first?

SAMMY: No, no. You can hit me first. 

BRICK: Yes, ma’am.

_Brick softly punches Sammy on the arm. Scott boos._

SCOTT: Come on, I want fighting and tears! Quarantine has been so boring, I _need_ entertainment!

CHRIS: I second that!

SCOTT: Scott says that Sammy has to punch back with all her force.

_Sammy, still looking peeved, raises her fist to strike… and then drops it._

SAMMY: I’m not doing it.

SCOTT, BRICK, AND LESHAWNA: _What_?

SAMMY: I am _not_ taking orders from you. You’re, like, the guy version of Amy! And if I’m done taking orders from her, I’m done taking orders from you!

_An annoyed Scott walks over to her._

SCOTT: You’re gonna give up a million dollars just like that? Are you insane?

_Hologram Chris places a hand on Sammy’s shoulder._

CHRIS: He’s right. You’re out, Sammy!

_The anger on her face softens._

SAMMY: I don’t care. No more orders for me.

LESHAWNA: Stick it to ‘em, girl!

BRICK: Woo hoo!

_Brick and Leshawna hug Sammy. Scott scratches his head._

SCOTT: What the heck is going on?

CHRIS: Chef will be by around sundown to pick up you and today’s _loser_. Ciao!

_Hologram Chris disappears. Scott sighs. The final three break out of their hug._

SAMMY: Also, what I said earlier kinda wasn’t true. If I had won the million, I wouldn’t’ve spent the million exclusively on charities. I would’ve gone to boarding school first. Sorry for lying.

LESHAWNA: Girl, are you crazy? That ain’t anything to get worked up about.

BRICK: Boarding school is awesome!

SCOTT: [loudly] Well _I_ would have bought a spa hotel if I won the million!

SAMMY: Sammy says shut up, Scott.

_Flash forward to the evening. Scott, Brick, Sammy, and Leshawna sit around the bonfire. Scott munches on a clod of sand. Chef’s helicopter swoops into view, and the rope ladder lowers. Leshawna hugs Sammy._

LESHAWNA: I’m glad you made it to the final three, girl. Keep fightin’ your crazy sister for all of us.

SAMMY: I’ll try my best!

_Brick salutes Sammy._

BRICK: You were a worthy opponent, ma’am.

_Sammy pulls him into a hug._

SAMMY: So were you guys!

SCOTT: [unseen] Hello?

_Pan to Scott, who has already climbed halfway up the rope ladder._

SCOTT: Hurry up with the farewells! I have a _dirt_ farm to get back to? 

SAMMY: I’ll get on when I _want_ to get on.

LESHAWNA: You tell him!

_Sammy grins sheepishly._

SAMMY: Well, I want to get on now, so.

_She steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and climbs a few as Chef raises the helicopter into the sky._

SAMMY: Byee-aaaaaaah!

_Her farewell morphs into a fearful scream as Chef flies away._

_Hologram Chris appears and finger guns Brick and Leshawna._

CHRIS: How ya feelin’, finalists?

_Brick and Leshawna answer simultaneously._

BRICK: Large and in charge!

LESHAWNA: Ready to kick butt!

CHRIS: Excellent! 

_He faces the camera._

CHRIS: We’re down to our final two in our most unconventional finale to date! Will either of them make it out alive? Find out next time on Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_Roll credits._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey, Owen, Amy, Lightning, Sky, Jo, Noah, Sammy
> 
> Honestly as the chapters have progressed I've gotten more and more uncertain about whether I'm portraying the characters correctly and creating interesting challenges. There's less room for death-defying stunts of danger when there's three teens alone on a half-built island.  
> Finale is next! Brick vs. Leshawna, whoo hoo! Oh yeah, question: should the alternate ending be included in chapter 14, with chapter 15 being a post-season fluff/filler/fun episode, or should the alternate ending alone be chapter 15? Let me know if anyone has a preference, haha. See ya'll when I post next!


	14. Episode 14: Race to Chris' Mansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the day of the final challenge, a rainstorm descends upon the island. The final two pick their helpers, and Chris gives a deceptively simple challenge to the competitors.

_The episode opens with Chris standing in front of his mansion, holding an umbrella as rain sprinkles on his estate..._

CHRIS: This season on Total Drama!

_Cut to the thirteen contestants on the incoming boat._

CHRIS: Thirteen players returned for what should have been an epic spring break, but instead turned into a quarantine due to, you know, the _pandemic_.

_Leonard offers a flower to Zoey, who reluctantly accepts it._

CHRIS: Hey, I ain’t leaving my mansion for this, these kids have cooties.

_Lindsay and Owen sink into quicksand. Sammy falls off her water skis. Jo falls off the mess hall roof._

CHRIS: Despite my absence, the challenges proved just as dangerous as usual. Don’t you love it when the kids get injured? Heheh.

_A short montage shows Chef dropping boxes onto the island._

CHRIS: Chef had a fun time unloading supplies on our unsuspecting cast.

_Harold chops up sushi. Amy falls into a mud puddle. Dave shoots and misses at Lightning and Sky._

CHRIS: And after two weeks of foraging, humiliation, and general suckitude, we’ve emerged with our two finalists!

_A split screen shows Brick on the left and Leshawna on the right._

CHRIS: Brick, the cadet with a heart of gold, and Leshawna, the sista _also_ with a heart of gold.

_Cut back to Chris, beaming at the camera._

CHRIS: Will these two hearts of gold melt under the pressure of a _one million dollar_ prize?

HAROLD: [off screen] Only if they’re subjected to temperatures of 1,064 degrees Celsius-

_The camera zooms out to reveal that all the eliminated contestants are standing in a glass box next to the mansion._

CHRIS: [angrily] Shut up!

_He coughs and resumes his host smile._

CHRIS: You’ll have to find out right here, right now, on the high-stakes finale of Total! Drama! Quarantine!

_~Theme song plays~_

_Storm clouds block out the morning sun. Torrential rain pours onto the beach._

_Inside the guys’ hut, Brick does push ups._

BRICK: ...one hundred two, one hundred three, one hundred four...

_In the girls’ cabin, Leshawna looks into a compact mirror and applies lipstick._

LESHAWNA: Who’s gonna look bangin’ when she wins the mil? This girl, that’s who.

_Back outside, the rain increases. The huts shake uncontrollably in the wind before suddenly collapsing entirely. Brick and Leshawna run out of the wreckages and meet up at the campfire. They both rub their arms to keep warm in the frigid downpour._

LESHAWNA: Well that sucks.

BRICK: A-at least the huts didn’t collapse earlier in the s-season!

LESHAWNA: Hah, you’re right. I didn’t expect them to last this long.

BRICK: P-perfect day to win a million, right?

LESHAWNA: Oh yes. Couldn’t’ve asked for better weather!

_As if on cue, Hologram Chris appears, unfazed by the weather._

CHRIS: Greetings, finalists! Prepare for the _ultimate_ challenge! 

BRICK: Um, can’t we wait until the rain stops?

CHRIS: Absolutely not! We’re on a schedule here!

BRICK: Gotta r-respect the schedule.

CHRIS: Partly as a homage to World Tour and All Stars, and partly because you’ll _need them to survive_ , you guys get two helpers for the challenge! Since I’m a nice host, you can pick this time!

LESHAWNA: Can you explain the challenge so we can make some smart decisions?

CHRIS: [smiling] No. Who’s your first pick? 

LESHAWNA: Harold! I call Harold!

BRICK: Uh, I choose Jo.

CHRIS: Somehow, I’m not surprised by either of your choices. And for your second helper?

_Leshawna bites her lip._

LESHAWNA: Ooh, I love Lindsay, but I’m just not sure…

CHRIS: _Ahem._ We don’t need your thought process, we just need a name.

LESHAWNA: Sky, then. I choose Sky.

CHRIS: Bang on. And Brick?

BRICK: I’d like to draft Sammy, sir.

_Flash forward. Brick and Leshawna sit on the mess hall steps, drying off from the rain. Chef arrives in his helicopter._

CHEF: [shouting] Incoming!

_The four helpers jump out of the helicopter. Sky’s gymnastics skills allow her to land safely on the roof. Harold falls straight into the ground with a grunt._

LESHAWNA: Harold baby, you okay?

_Harold groans, his face caked in mud. Sky tucks and rolls, landing next to Leshawna. She smiles despite the rain soaking her hair._

SKY: Thanks for picking me, Leshawna. I’m happy to help.

LESHAWNA: No sweat, girl.

_A few feet to their right, Brick catches Sammy before she hits the ground._

SAMMY: Long time no see!

BRICK: Ready to return to battle?

_Sammy salutes him._

SAMMY: Yes sir- ah!

_Her response is cut off when a peeved Jo lands on top of her._

JO: Thanks for bringing me back to this crappy island, G. I. Joke!

BRICK: I thought you’d be flattered. I had to pick someone _strong_ as a helper, after all.

_Jo, easily flattered as usual, grins._

JO: I guess I _was_ the only viable option.

_From beneath Jo, Sammy squeaks in pain._

SAMMY: What am I, chopped liver?

_Brick sets them both down. The final two and their helpers face Hologram Chris._

CHRIS: Get ready for the most brutal, extreme challenge yet!

_Reactions range from slightly unnerved to full-on terrified._

CHRIS: You have to… _ring_ my _doorbell_.

LESHAWNA: ...Say what now?

CHRIS: The first person to escape the island, make their way to my esteemed mansion, and ring my doorbell, wins the million-dollar prize! Seems pretty simple, right?

BRICK: How are we supposed to do that?

_Chris chuckles._

CHRIS: That’s for you all to figure out by yourselves. Now, I’m off to play ping pong with Chef. Ciao!

_The hologram dissipates._

_Flash forward a few minutes. The teams have split up. Leshawna, Harold, and Sky sit on the porch, strategizing._

SKY: This island is definitely not within swimming distance of the mainland.

LESHAWNA: So what, we gotta build a boat?

HAROLD: That would seem like the only option, yes.

_Leshawna sighs._

LESHAWNA: Maybe if I had picked Zoey, she coulda called a rescue chopper with that phone of hers.

_Cut to inside of the mess hall, where Brick, Jo, and Sammy have reached the same conclusion._

SAMMY: I’m sick of building challenges!

BRICK: I don’t see any other alternative, so build we shall!

JO: There’s _tons_ of wood left from all the crates that Chef dropped off over for challenges, right? We can just use that.

SAMMY: Oh em gee, Jo is right! And there’s fabrics at the catwalk. I could try and sew a sail.

BRICK: Excellent plan, soldier. Let’s start construction immediately.

JO: Alright, let’s win this thing!

_The trio barges out of the building, startling Leshawna, Harold, and Sky._

LESHAWNA: Did y’all figure out a plan?

BRICK: Yes, ma’am! What about-

_Jo drags him away._

JO: No fraternizing with the enemy! If you lose this, I’ll be a loser by association, and I’m not gonna let that happen.

_Harold watches them leave._

HAROLD: So a rowboat it is, then.

LESHAWNA: Sky, you know the patio on the east side of the island?

_Sky nods._

LESHAWNA: Get some chairs, some umbrellas, whatever. That junk might come in handy.

SKY: Aye aye, captain!

LESHAWNA: Harold baby, you look around for some nails and a screwdriver. We’re going home!

_A montage ensues as the six teens work through the rainstorm._

_Jo hauls empty crates to the beach, where Brick disassembles them._

_On the western beach, Harold disassembles Sammy’s waterslide._

_Sammy ruffles through the costume bin and pulls out a trench coat._

_Sky folds up one of the table umbrellas and loops it through two chairs, then hoists it over her shoulders like a water yoke._

_As Jo picks up another crate, she trips over a crab and falls into the sand._

_Harold pockets the extra bolts and nails from the waterslide._

_Sammy cuts up the thick trench coat fabric and begins sewing it._

_A few yards down from Brick, Leshawna demolishes several crates of her own._

_As the day wears on, the rain finally dissipates. By mid-afternoon, the sun is shining brightly. Everyone is down at the beach now. Brick hammers a nail into a board while Jo holds it steady. Sammy lays out the sail she sewed so that it can dry in the sunshine._

JO: Hey, Twin Two, make yourself useful and fry up some food. I’m starving.

_Sammy frowns._

BRICK: You don’t have the clearance to issue orders, Jo.

JO: You _know_ we’re gonna need food sooner or later.

BRICK: …Sammy, ma’am, stocking up on food for the journey might not be a bad idea.

SAMMY: Roger that, commander! 

_She leaves to stab some fish._

_Meanwhile, Sky and Leshawna build their rowboat. Harold eats a bag of cheese curls; in between curls, he wraps duct tape around a slab of wood, attaching it to the table umbrella handle._

SKY: What are you making, Harold?

HAROLD: Isn’t it obvious? This is an oar.

SKY: Oh. Is duct tape the best material to use?

HAROLD: Obviously not, but I don’t have access to industrial-grade glue, now do I?

LESHAWNA: Dollface, do not go sassin’ Sky like that. 

HAROLD: Gosh.

_He eats another cheese curl._

_Cut back to Brick and Jo, who are still working on the raft._

BRICK: So, you and Amy are friends now?

_Jo raises an eyebrow._

JO: What, did McLean show you some video footage to annoy you or something?

BRICK: Affirmative.

JO: Heheh. Did he show you the conversation where I told Amy you wet your pants?

BRICK: Also correct.

JO: Are you _mad_ about that?

BRICK: At the moment, I remain undecided.

JO: I was trying to get her off your back, you know. This way, you don’t need to file a restraining order after the show ends.

BRICK: I don’t think that’s-

JO: That’s exactly what happened.

BRICK: But-

JO: Back to work, soldier! You need to win this thing!

_On the other side of the beach, Sky has taken over the oar-building. Harold scribbles on a paper._

HAROLD: Carry the two, multiply by Taurus at thirty degrees west… done!

_He holds up the paper proudly._

HAROLD: Behold, the ultimate map.

SKY: Is that accurate?

HAROLD: I took a cartography class last summer, so yes, it’s accurate.

_Sky looks at Leshawna, who shrugs._

LESHAWNA: There’s a reason I picked Harold as a helper.

_Flash forward to the evening. Both teams have finished their transportation, Leshawna with her rowboat and Brick with his raft-with-a-sail. Leshawna approaches Brick, Jo, and Sammy._

LESHAWNA: Hey y’all, I was thinking it over, and I think it’d be kinda dangerous if we left Chrisland without a good night’s sleep. How ‘bout we make an agreement not to leave until after gettin’ some shut-eye?

JO: No way! We’re leaving right now, and you’re not gonna stop us.

_Brick and Sammy look at her. Jo sighs reluctantly._

JO: I mean, uh, Brick’s in charge, so he has the final say.

BRICK: Thank you, Jo. Leshawna, I’m happy to accept your proposal.

_Jo coughs. Brick and Leshawna shake hands._

LESHAWNA: Cool. We can only set sail after gettin’ some rest. 

_She turns to return to her team but calls back over her shoulder._

LESHAWNA: Good luck tomorrow!

_Jo folds her arms._

JO: Do you really think that was the brightest idea, Brick-for-brains?

BRICK: I have no reason to distrust an honorable adversary such as Leshawna. And I’m not risking the safety of our squadron on drowsiness!

JO: Fine. It’s _your_ million on the line.

_They glare at each other for a moment, before Sammy chuckles nervously and holds up a grape._

SAMMY: Berry, anyone?

_Flash forward to the middle of the night. Harold, Sky, and Leshawna sail on their rowboat, Sky and Leshawna at the oars while Harold sits at the bow, examining his map._

SKY: This feels like cheating. Are you sure we’re not cheating?

LESHAWNA: _Technically_ I didn’t break my treaty with Brick. We slept for a few hours before we left. So what if the rest of ‘em didn’t wake up at two in the morning?

SKY: I guess…

HAROLD: Sailing at night has many advantages. For one, I can use the stars in conjunction with my map to guide us back home. For another, we don’t have to worry about getting heatstroke under the glare of the cruel, cruel sun.

SKY: If you say so.

_Cut back to camp. Since the huts were demolished, Brick, Jo, and Sammy are sleeping on the beach. A rogue spider crawls up Sammy’s leg. Her eyes open wide and she jerks up._

SAMMY: Ahhh! Amy! Spider!

_A terrified Sammy stands up and frantically brushes the spider off. Unfortunately, her antics wake up Jo._

JO: [whispering angrily] Hey! Hey Blondie! What gives?

SAMMY: A spider crawled up onto me!

_Her eyes go even wider._

SAMMY: I had war flashbacks.

JO: Don’t be such a _Cameron_ and go back to sleep.

_Before she lies down, Sammy glances over at where Leshawna and her crew had been sleeping. She gasps._

SAMMY: Jo! Brick! Look!

_Jo follows Sammy’s gaze. She snaps awake and punches Brick._

BRICK: _Ah_!

JO: We got duped! Their boat is gone. Leshawna left already!

BRICK: Sammy, gather all the food we have. Jo, get on the boat. We deploy immediately!

_Cut back to Leshawna and her crew on the ocean._

HAROLD: Lean to the starboard side.

SKY: That means right, right?

HAROLD: Jeez, haven’t you ever sailed a boat before?

SKY: Not everyone goes to Sailor Steve’s Rowboat Camp every summer!

LESHAWNA: Just turn to the right, hon. We need to make the most of this head start.

HAROLD: As if they’re gonna catch up to us. By the time they wake up, we’ll probably be at port.

_Cut back to the other team, sailing away from the island. Jo looks annoyed, Brick looks determined, and Sammy looks frazzled._

JO: Okay, Army Boy, how do we steer this thing?

BRICK: We don’t need to steer, we just go east until we hit land! The winds are gonna blow us to the shore!

_He pats the mast confidently._

JO: And what if we don’t hit land?

SAMMY: We hope the coast guard finds us?

JO: This is a dumb plan. 

BRICK: Hey, I wasn’t trained for nautical combat! 

SAMMY: Uh, if we don’t need to steer, can I go to sleep? 

BRICK: Permission granted.

SAMMY: Cool. Wake me up if there’s any spiders.

_She shudders before lying down._

_Cut to Chris’ mansion. Chris sits outside, watching the footage from his recliner. He looks over his shoulder at the glass box. All the contestants are sleeping except Leonard, who is playing a card game by himself._

CHRIS: Hey! Wake up! This is good content!

_Noah is the only one who rouses. He glares at Chris._

NOAH: First of all, it’s the middle of the night. Second of all, maybe I’d watch if you gave us a couch instead of stuffing us all in a giant glass cage on your _lawn_.

CHRIS: Hey! That’s a _safety precaution_. I don’t want you kids getting me sick. But you’re right, these finalists haven’t gotten enough pain, have they?

_Noah sighs and closes his eyes again._

CHRIS: Chef! 

_Chef lumbers into view. He wears a set of blue pajamas with bunny rabbits patterned on the pants._

CHRIS: Wanna go harass our contestants and their motley crews?

CHEF: Do I gotta? It’s the middle of the night.

CHRIS: C’mon, big guy, it’ll be fun, I promise.

CHEF: [grumbling] Whadda _you_ know about piloting choppers this early in the morning?

CHRIS: Enough to know it’ll make great ratings.

_Flash forward to Leshawna’s boat. Her eyelids droop as she continues to row._

HAROLD: Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Gawsh. Stroke.

LESHAWNA: So Sky, how’s Lightning?

SKY: He’s doing fine. Chris is streaming the finale live for all the eliminated contestants, so he’s probably watching this. Hi Lightning! I’ll see you soon!

_Cut to Lightning, snoring as he sleeps. Chris howls with laughter in the background._

_Leshawna is about to ask another question when an unseen object splashes into the water next to them._

HAROLD: What was _that_?

LESHAWNA: _Chef_!

_She points upwards, and the camera follows her gaze. Indeed, Chef is overhead, a tennis ball cannon attached to the bottom of his helicopter._

CHEF: [yawns] Chris said this wasn’t easy enough for y’all, so here you go!

_He shoots a round of tennis balls at them. One hits Harold and knocks him into the water._

LESHAWNA: Harold!

SKY: I’ll get him!

_She jumps into the ocean to retrieve Harold. Leshawna picks up an oar and starts lobbying the balls back at Chef._

LESHAWNA: You messed with the _wrong_ finalist!

_Chef angrily fires another round of tennis balls at her. Leshawna hits another ball back at him, but the oar breaks. She makes a face._

_Cut to Brick’s raft. Aside from the occasional twitch, Sammy sleeps soundly; she uses a fish as a pillow. Jo and Brick stare at each other._

JO: So.

BRICK: So.

JO: _So_.

BRICK: _So_.

JO: I guess I’m sorry for telling Amy you peed your pants... even if it’s _technically_ true.

BRICK: You mean it?

JO: Uh, duh. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have said it.

_Brick smiles._

BRICK: I appreciate that, Jo.

JO: Yeah, well, whatever.

_A tennis ball hits her in the shoulder._

JO: What the-?

_Jo and Brick look up to see Chef in the air. His tennis ball cannon is visibly battered from Leshawna’s swings._

CHEF: Good luck, kiddies!

_He cackles as he unleashes tennis balls at the raft. Most of them miss, but one hits Sammy in the head, waking her up._

SAMMY: [terrified] _Amy_! No, not again!

JO: [yelling] Come down here and face me like a man!

CHEF: Naw.

_He starts shooting again._

JO: I hate this guy.

_Cut back to Leshawna. She helps pull Harold into the rowboat. Sky, soaking wet, climbs in._

LESHAWNA: Harold baby, you okay?

HAROLD: [weakly] Yeah, just feeling a little woozy. Probably due to damage sustained by my temporal lobe.

LESHAWNA: You need to rest, hon. I’ll take over the map readin’ from now on.

SKY: You sure?

LESHAWNA: My oar broke anyways, it’s not like I really have a choice.

_Cut back to the raft. Brick, Jo, and Sammy eat fish while surveying the damage Chef has done to the raft. A tennis-ball-sized hole is situated in the middle of the sail._

JO: So what are we supposed to do about that?

SAMMY: I didn’t bring any extra supplies, sorry…

BRICK: No need to worry!

_He retrieves a handkerchief and a roll of medical tape from his pocket._

BRICK: Behold, a makeshift sail! 

_In a jiffy, he tapes the handkerchief over the hole._

SAMMY: Makeshift sling, mask, _and_ sail? I might have to invest in one of those. 

_Flash forward to dawn. Leshawna and her crew reach the shore._

LESHAWNA: Land ho! Woohoo!

_She jumps out of the rowboat, followed by Sky and Harold. Harold’s stomach rumbles loudly._

HAROLD: Maybe we should have packed a snack.

_Leshawna’s stomach grumbles as well, and she looks from Harold to the town in the distance._

LESHAWNA: I’m starving, too. We can stop for some grub.

SKY: What about the other team?

LESHAWNA: With our lead? They probably only just left.

HAROLD: Plus we can find directions to Chris’ estate in a directory or something.

SKY: Okay, if you say so.

_The trio jogs off to rejoin civilization._

_Flash forward an hour. The sun is higher in the sky, and the raft party is just now reaching the shore._

SAMMY: Look! Leshawna’s rowboat!

JO: I’m just amazed we didn’t drift all the way up to _Alaska_. 

BRICK: Alright, troops, let’s move out!

_As soon as the raft hits the sand, the trio runs off to the nearest town._

_Cut to a street corner. Sky and Harold sit on the curb, both looking annoyed. Notably, Harold is shirtless._

SKY: I can’t believe it took an hour for Leshawna to get breakfast bagels.

HAROLD: What did you expect? Bagels are a hot commodity during pandemics.

SKY: [annoyed] You know, you don’t have to be so-

_Leshawna walks out of the shop behind them. She wears Harold’s shirt as a mask._

LESHAWNA: Harold, the shirt thing was genius.

SKY: This is gonna take some getting used to.

_Leshawna passes out the bagels. Harold takes his shirt back._

_On the other side of the street, Brick, Jo, and Sammy stand in a group huddle._

BRICK: What’s our next battle strategy?

SAMMY: Um, Chris’ house is, like, a giant mansion. Maybe we should ask a local if they could point us in the direction of the rich people?

BRICK: Sounds like a plan. 

_They break out of the huddle, and Jo grabs a passerby by his collar._

JO: Hey, give me your phone or I’ll cough on you.

_The passerby’s eyes widen. He tosses his phone to Jo and runs the other way, terrified._

BRICK AND SAMMY: _Jo_!

JO: It worked, didn’t it?

_She types on the phone._

JO: Now we just gotta search up Chris’ address.

SAMMY: Text Zoey, she can share her location with us.

JO: What, you think I have her number?

BRICK: I do!

_Jo passes him the phone._

_On the other side of the street, Leshawna and company eat their bagels._

SKY: Did you get directions?

LESHAWNA: Yeah, the cashier knew exactly where I was talkin’ about. The rich folks live ten minutes away, so we just gotta-

_Pan to the other side of the street._

BRICK: -find some transportation, and then-

_The camera zooms out to show both groups on either side of the street._

LESHAWNA AND BRICK: -I’ll win the million dollars!

_Both groups look across the street and see each other for the first time._

LESHAWNA: How did _you_ get here?

JO: Cheersquad got woken by a spider!

BRICK: And then we saw you’d left already! 

JO: Cheaters!

HAROLD: We technically didn’t-

SKY: Don’t waste time squabbling! Leshawna has a challenge to win!

_They take off down the street, but not before Harold lobs his half-eaten bagel across the street, hitting Jo in the head._

JO: _Ow_!

BRICK: No time to lose, soldiers!

_They also run off, Jo muttering angrily._

_On the left sidewalk, Leshawna and Sky dodge a ladder, but Harold hits his head on it and goes down._

HAROLD: Ouchies!

LESHAWNA: Harold, you okay?

HAROLD: Yeah, I’ll be fine.

SKY: Leshawna, we need transportation. Harold isn’t gonna be able to keep up with us!

HAROLD: _Hey_!

_Flash forward. Leshawna approaches a girl dismounting her bike._

LESHAWNA: Ma’am! Can I borrow your bike, please?

PEDESTRIAN: Uhh, no. You’ll get germs all over it.

LESHAWNA: Woman, I do _not_ have a virus!

_On the right side of the street, Sammy falls behind._

JO: Clearly, stamina doesn’t run in the family!

_Sammy stops to catch her breath; Brick halts and forces Jo to wait as well._

SAMMY: I’m sorry, I- oh em gee, look!

_Sammy points to an electric scooter that lies against the building beside them._

SAMMY: It’s one of those rentable scooters. We could ride it and get there first.

BRICK: Excellent idea, ma’am!

_Cut to Leshawna’s side of the street. The three of them turn a corner._

LESHAWNA: So the bike idea was a bust.

SKY: Maybe we can rent a car?

HAROLD: Look!

_He points to the other side of the street, and Sky and Leshawna gasp. Brick, Jo, and Sammy, squeezed onto the electric scooter, zoom down the street._

SKY: They had the same idea as us!

_Leshawna looks up at the building next to them._

LESHAWNA: Harold, I need your shirt back.

HAROLD: What for, my queen?

_Leshawna ties his shirt around her._

LESHAWNA: _This_ is a sporting goods store. And where there are sports, there are wheels.

_Flash forward. The street is quiet- until Leshawna flies out the door with a dirt bike. Sky and Harold barely hold on as she tears down the street._

LESHAWNA: We’re back in this! Woo hoo!

HAROLD: _Turn left_!

_Leshawna complies._

_Cut to Chris’ mansion. The contestants in the glass box have split into two groups. Leshawna’s supporters—Lindsay, Leonard, Noah, and Owen—stand on the left side. Brick’s supporters—Amy, Zoey, and Lightning—stand on the right side._

AMY: Ugh, how much longer do we have to _be_ here?

NOAH: Until someone gets the money. Spoiler alert: it’s not gonna be you. 

_Chris and Chef walk in front of them, both wearing pink rubber gloves and surgical masks._

CHRIS: Lucky for you ungrateful losers, Brick and Leshawna should be arriving within ten minutes. Good thing Zoey gave away my address, otherwise they might be stumbling around town, lost.

ZOEY: Happy to help.

_Chris turns to Chef._

CHRIS: Did you disinfect my doorbell?

CHEF: Yeah. Did you disinfect my chopper?

CHRIS: Now how is that _my_ job?

_Chef rolls his eyes._

_Owen points to the TV screen._

OWEN: Look! They’re turning onto Chris’ street now!

_The kids cheer for their preferred contestants, except for Lightning._

LIGHTNING: Go Sky! Ride that dirtbike, you crazy girl!

_Cut to the racing contestants. Leshawna has caught up on her dirt bike._

JO: Make this thing go faster, Brick! 

BRICK: I don’t know _how_!

_Sammy simply screams._

HAROLD: It’s time for my noble sacrifice of epicness!

SKY AND LESHAWNA: Your _what_?

_Harold jumps off the dirtbike and tackles the opposing three._

BRICK: We’ve been _ambushed_!

HAROLD: Run Leshawna, _ruuuuun_!

_Leshawna speeds ahead on the bike, a shocked Sky looking back at the four sprawled on Chris’ driveway._

JO: Ow, my other arm!

BRICK: Are you okay?

_Jo immediately punches Harold in the face._

JO: [wryly] Just kidding, it’s fine.

SAMMY: Brick, you could still have a shot! We gotta hurry!

_Cut to the front of the mansion. Leshawna and Sky skid to a halt and dismount the motorbike. Chris waves amicably._

CHRIS: Leshawna! It’s been a while, heheh.

LESHAWNA: Save the commentary, Chris. It ain’t important right now.

_Leshawna runs up the front steps. Right as Jo, Brick, Sammy, and Harold arrive, she presses the doorbell. A burst of confetti rains down on her._

CHRIS: Leshawna wins the million dollars!

LESHAWNA: I won? I won! 

SKY: Yes! Go Leshawna!

HAROLD: I knew you’d do it!

_As the peanut gallery cheers in the background, Harold and Sky run over. Leshawna hugs Sky and kisses Harold’s bruised cheek._

LESHAWNA: Thank you so much, guys. Spa day, here I come!

_Brick salutes Leshawna._

BRICK: Congratulations, ma’am.

JO: [perplexed] You’re not disappointed?

BRICK: Leshawna’s exemplary leadership and high morale earned her this win. She deserves it!

LESHAWNA: Thanks, dude. You put up a pretty good fight.

CHRIS: [sarcastically] This is so sweet. Now get in the quarantine chamber so you can finish your silly celebrations without _infecting_ me.

_Flash forward. Everyone is in the glass box now. Sky reunites with Lightning, who spins her around excitedly. The other contestants congratulate Leshawna._

LINDSAY: At first I was mad that I didn’t get picked to be a helper, but now that you’ve won, I’m so _totally_ over it.

LESHAWNA: Heheh, sorry girl. I’ll treat you to a massage if you want.

LINDSAY: Yes please!

_Resident party pooper Amy approaches Brick, who stands with Jo at the back of the crowd._

AMY: I just want you to _know_ , any chance you had of dating _me_ went down the drain after _that_ pathetic performance. You would’ve won if you hadn’t picked _Samey_ as a helper, you know that, right?

BRICK: I absolutely disagree. Sammy was an asset to the team, and a good friend to boot.

JO: Yeah, even _I_ think she’s not too bad compared to you. Now scram, Twin One, before I punch your teeth out.

_With an indignant huff, Amy slinks off to sulk in solitude. Brick turns to Jo._

BRICK: Now that the competition’s over... permission to make a grand declaration of affection, ma’am?

JO: Nice try, but I only date winners.

BRICK: [grinning] Would you be willing to settle for second?

_Jo flashes him a genuine smile._

JO: Meh, I guess so.

_She grabs his shirt and pulls him in for a kiss. Sammy gasps delightedly._

SAMMY: Awwww, that’s so cute!

_After the kiss ends, Chris coughs loudly._

CHRIS: Attention! I have an announcement to make!

_Everyone shuts up and looks at him._

CHRIS: While Leshawna may have won the grand prize, you all get the second prize, which is just as fantastic!

NOAH: We have very different definitions of the word ‘fantastic.’

CHRIS: When the Chrisland Resort opens next fall, you are all welcome to be employed, no application required!

_All the kids burst into laughter. As they continue chortling, Chris frowns._

CHRIS: It’s a well paying gig! You lot should be _grateful_ I’m even considering you.

ZOEY: Pass. No amount of money could get me to work for you.

_Leshawna raises an eyebrow._

LESHAWNA: Hey, McLean, where is my money anyways?

CHRIS: Oh yeah. We’re depositing it directly into your account. Handing you a briefcase of cash was deemed too _germy_.

HAROLD: Well that’s anticlimactic.

LESHAWNA: Hey, money is money.

CHRIS: And that brings me to my next point! Remember your little _excursion_ to the neighbors’ party the other night?

_Excluding Sammy, Brick, and Leshawna, everyone nods, acknowledging the event._

CHRIS: Yeah, well, some kids there tested positive for the disease, so now you _all_ have to stay here for another two weeks!

LEONARD: Huzzah! More friendship escapades!

_Leonard is alone in his happiness; everyone else groans._

NOAH: Thanks a lot, _Amy_.

LIGHTNING: Well it won’t be too bad, ‘cause I got Sky to keep me company!

SKY: Awww, you’re too sweet, Lightning.

_Brick opens his mouth, but Jo ribs him before he can say anything similarly sappy._

JO: Don’t even think about it.

AMY: Excuse me, I think my sister has the _plague_. Can you remove her from the premises?

LESHAWNA: Shut up, girl!

_Cut to Chris. He faces the camera, flashing his signature host grin._

CHRIS: Well, I may have to babysit a bunch of crummy kids, but at least I’m not in the hospital! I’m Chris McLean, reminding you to stay safe and wash your hands. The producers’ words, not mine. Until next time, this has been Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_The contestants wave farewell, and the scene fades to black._

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Elimination order: Leonard, Lindsay, Harold, Zoey, Owen, Amy, Lightning, Sky, Jo, Noah, Sammy, Brick, Leshawna [WINNER]
> 
> Welp with the longest chapter to date, TDQ is officially done! I almost can't believe I finished this, haha. Brick's ending and my notes/commentary are posted in the next chapter. 
> 
> And for the record, this fic does have a TV Tropes page if you'd like to check it out.


	15. Episode 14.5: Alternate Ending

_Cut to Leshawna’s side of the street. The three of them turn a corner._

LESHAWNA: So the bike idea was a bust.

SKY: Maybe we can rent a car?

HAROLD: Look!

_He points to the other side of the street, and Sky and Leshawna gasp. Brick, Jo, and Sammy, squeezed onto the electric scooter, zoom down the street._

SKY: They had the same idea as us!

_Leshawna looks up at the building next to them._

LESHAWNA: Harold, I need your shirt back.

HAROLD: What for, my queen?

_Leshawna ties his shirt around her._

LESHAWNA: _This_ is a sporting goods store. And where there are sports, there are wheels.

_Flash forward. The street is quiet- until Leshawna, Sky, and Harold rush out of the store, all wearing rollerblades._

LESHAWNA: We’re back in this! Woo hoo!

HAROLD: _Turn left_!

_Leshawna and Sky turn on a dime, but Harold runs into a tree._

_Cut to Chris’ mansion. The contestants in the glass box have split into two groups. Leshawna’s supporters—Lindsay, Leonard, Noah, and Owen—stand on the left side. Brick’s supporters—Amy, Zoey, and Lightning—stand on the right side._

AMY: Ugh, how much longer do we have to _be_ here?

NOAH: Until someone gets the money. Spoiler alert: it’s not gonna be you. 

_Chris and Chef walk in front of them, both wearing pink rubber gloves and surgical masks._

CHRIS: Lucky for you ungrateful losers, Brick and Leshawna should be arriving within ten minutes. Good thing Zoey gave away my address, otherwise they might be stumbling around town, lost.

ZOEY: Happy to help.

_Chris turns to Chef._

CHRIS: Did you disinfect my doorbell?

CHEF: Yeah. Did you disinfect my chopper?

CHRIS: Now how is that _my_ job?

_Chef rolls his eyes._

_Owen points at the TV screen._

OWEN: Look! They’re turning onto Chris’ street now!

_The kids cheer for their preferred contestants, except for Lightning._

LIGHTNING: Go Sky, you rollerblading _rockstar_! 

_Cut to the racing contestants. Leshawna and Sky catch up to the scooter squad._

JO: Make this thing go faster, Brick! 

BRICK: I don’t know _how_!

_Sammy glances back right as Harold trips over a stray rock._

SAMMY: Oh em gee, Harold’s injured! 

LESHAWNA: Wha-?

_She turns around, losing momentum. Harold lies wiped out on the ground._

SKY: No, Leshawna, it’s a trick! 

LESHAWNA: I can’t just leave Harold, he needs help!

SKY: I’ll stay back! You go win that million!

_Cut to the front of the mansion. Brick, Jo, and Sammy hop off the scooter. Chris waves amicably._

CHRIS: Brick! How’s it hangin’, dude?

BRICK: I’m about to secure a victory, sir!

JO: [screaming] Go go go!

_Brick runs up the front steps. Leshawna skates up, followed by Sky dragging along an injured Harold. Brick presses the doorbell. A burst of confetti rains down on him._

CHRIS: Brick wins the million dollars!

BRICK: I won?

JO: You won!

SAMMY: Yay, Brick!

_As the peanut gallery cheers in the background, Sammy and Jo run over. Sammy hugs Brick. Jo punches his shoulder affectionately, but Brick pulls her into the hug against her will. Leshawna flashes him a thumbs up._

LESHAWNA: Congrats, dude. You beat me fair and square.

_Harold sighs dramatically._

HAROLD: Leshawna, I’m so sorry my lack of rollerblading skills cost you the win. 

LESHAWNA: I’m upset, sure, but not with you. I’m just glad you ain’t dead.

CHRIS: [sarcastically] This is so sweet. Now get in the quarantine chamber so you can finish your silly celebrations without _infecting_ me.

_Flash forward. Everyone is in the glass box now. Sky reunites with Lightning, who spins her around excitedly. Owen gives Brick a congratulatory pat on the back. Noah elbows him._

NOAH: So, what reality show do you wanna do next? I know Quest Canada is looking for applicants, but I’m open to suggestions.

OWEN: Actually, I was thinking of applying to college. We could be roomies together!

NOAH: Higher education, even more dramatic than this show. Yeah, I’m up for the challenge.

OWEN: Woo hoo!

_He hugs Noah._

_Meanwhile, Amy slinks up to Brick, who is talking with Jo._

AMY: So now that you’re like, rich or whatever, I’m willing to take you back. 

_Brick scratches his head in confusion._

BRICK: With all due respect, Amy, I don’t think we were ever together.

JO: And with all due _disrespect_ , I was talking to Jarhead first! Scram before I knock your teeth out!

AMY: Whatever!

_She storms off._

JO: What a weirdo… now, what were we talking about?

BRICK: I believe I was about to make a grand declaration of affection.

_Jo smiles._

JO: Eh, what the heck. Go for it.

BRICK: Jo, will you do me the honor of going out with me once quarantine is over?

JO: That wouldn't totally suck, so yeah. Yeah, I will.

_Brick leans in and kisses her. Those watching, including Sammy, Lightning, and Sky, grin happily._

SAMMY: Awwww, that’s so cute!

LIGHTNING: Sha-boo yah! The four of us can go on a double date!

_While that's going on, Chris coughs loudly._

CHRIS: I have an announcement to make!

_Everyone shuts up and looks at him._

CHRIS: While Brick may have won the grand prize, you all get the second prize, which is just as amazing!

NOAH: We have very different definitions of the word ‘amazing.’

CHRIS: When the Chrisland Resort opens next fall, you are all welcome to be employed, no application required!

_All the kids burst into laughter. As they continue chortling, Chris frowns._

CHRIS: It’s a well paying gig! You lot should be _grateful_ I’m even considering you.

ZOEY: Pass. No amount of money could get me to work for you.

BRICK: Speaking of money, I don’t recall receiving my prize.

CHRIS: Oh yeah. We’re depositing it directly into your account. Handing you a briefcase of cash was deemed too _germy_.

JO: Well that’s stupid.

BRICK: On the contrary, it’s much more convenient.

CHRIS: And that brings me to my next point! Remember your little _excursion_ to the neighbors’ party the other night?

_Excluding Sammy, Brick, and Leshawna, everyone nods, acknowledging the event._

CHRIS: Yeah, well, some kids there tested positive for the disease, so now you _all_ have to stay here for another two weeks!

LEONARD: Huzzah! More friendship escapades!

_Leonard is alone in his happiness; everyone else groans._

NOAH: Thanks a lot, _Amy_.

LIGHTNING: Well it won’t be too bad, ‘cause I got Sky to keep me company!

SKY: Awww, you’re too sweet, Lightning.

_Brick opens his mouth, but Jo ribs him before he can say anything similarly sappy._

JO: Don’t even think about it, Mr. Millionaire.

AMY: Excuse me, I think my sister has the _plague_. Can you remove her from the premises?

LESHAWNA: Shut up, girl!

_Cut to Chris. He faces the camera, flashing his signature host grin._

CHRIS: Well, I may have to babysit a bunch of crummy kids, but at least I’m not in the hospital! I’m Chris McLean, reminding you to stay safe and wash your hands. The producers’ words, not mine. Until next time, this has been Total. Drama. Quarantine!

_The contestants wave farewell, and the scene fades to black._

_Credits roll._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowzers, I can't believe I finished this! TDQ really started off as a whim; I wrote the first episode in six hours because quarantine had just started and I was bored. The elimination order was only decided around the second or third episode, and I didn't waver from it; I almost switched Sky and Noah's departures, but I wanted to keep Noah around for the ski quiz episode, and thus I implemented the 'each team gets one vote' twist.
> 
> Another thing that really affected the story development was my sudden love for Jo and Brick. They were never my favorite characters in the past, but when I reentered the fandom, almost overnight I became a huge Jo fan? She's just so frickin' funny in ROTI. I would apologize for this fic being so Jo-and-Brick-centric, but I like writing them, so.
> 
> Why did I pick Leshawna as the winner? Because she deserved it, that's why. Leshawna is a queen. Also this way, the final six elimination order is 3rd gen, 2nd gen, 1st gen, 3rd gen, 2nd gen, 1st gen, and I like that pattern.
> 
> If I had to rewrite the story? I'd include more contestants; Trent was supposed to be here, but maybe I'd also add Topher or Anne Maria, who might not be villains outright, but certainly have attitudes that would clash with other characters. If I had added two or three more characters, then I might have included reward challenges as well, mostly so some characters could stick around longer and I'd have a better chance to develop them. Aside from Amy being Amy, I feel like there wasn't enough conflict, and there wasn't a main villain, but was that really necessary? In the finale, I implied Sky and Harold don't like each other; I wish I had implemented that dynamic earlier in the story. 
> 
> Also I don't think I wrote Jo as jerkish as she was in canon; she was too busy harassing Amy and Brick to pay much attention to anyone else, which is another thing I want to touch upon. Early on, everyone stuck to their little clusters, a fact pointed out by Zoey. And while I think that makes sense (I certainly would stick with my besties if I was stuck on a deserted island), it isn't necessarily the best for storytelling (even though I love writing Jo and Brick together heheheh).
> 
> Might make a TVTropes page for this because I like reading through TVTropes, and I've seen some other TD fanfics do that, so why not. As for what's next from me writing-wise: I have some fic ideas, including a ROTI AU and an All Stars AU, but I don't know if I'll have the stamina to write those stories. We shall see, we shall see.
> 
> Thank you for sticking around Total Drama Quarantine. It certainly is unconventional in many regards, and I hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing.


End file.
